Woman sues over reunion with child she gave up for adoption after being raped

[Novice]

Interesting that you say that. We're looking into adoption.
The majority of children adopted in our area are those who are removed from their homes due to various reasons (neglect, abuse, etc).
For any number of these kids, due to the reasons that they were removed the parents won't have access.... not even letterbox access - which is like a cold letter drop.
However, the rest of the family may have access.... grandparents, uncles, cousins..... it worried me due to issues can run in families...

[buttmunch]

Originally Posted by Linne

So I wonder if the daughter is stalking her birth father as well? There might be some medical records she might need or something?

An excellent, excellent point, although since she was the product of a rape there's probably an excellent chance the rapist was never known.

[sparkly]

Somehow I just don't see the daughter trying to have a relationship with her rapist father.

[Kittylady]

I wonder... If the adopted woman is really hounding her birth mother in spite of constantly being rejected and being told a relationship is neither welcome or will ever develop, then what if she applied the same tactic to the people who had the adoption records and eventually someone just went "Ah, fuck it!" and gave her the information she wanted to get rid of her?

[Aella]

Originally Posted by Kittylady

I wonder... If the adopted woman is really hounding her birth mother in spite of constantly being rejected and being told a relationship is neither welcome or will ever develop, then what if she applied the same tactic to the people who had the adoption records and eventually someone just went "Ah, fuck it!" and gave her the information she wanted to get rid of her?

Then that person would get fired, one hopes.

[Laurent]

Originally Posted by sparkly

The woman didn't respond for a reason, and I feel sorry for her way more than the daughter. If the daughter feels rejected, that's her own damn fault for pushing herself onto a woman that clearly wanted nothing to do with her.

I agree completely. It's my personal feeling that what the adopted child may want does not take prescedence over what the parents who placed them for adoption wants.

Originally Posted by sputnik

so i guess the only way a birth mother can guarantee she will remain anonymous is to be in a place with a safe haven law and abandon her child at a fire station or hospital or something.
that sucks.

Apparently.

[MoodyJenny86]

Originally Posted by Laurent

I agree completely. It's my personal feeling that what the adopted child may want does not take prescedence over what the parents who placed them for adoption wants.

Well stated.

[mklady]

I feel bad for the daughter, obviously she wanted to know about her biological mother but she should have respected the woman's wishes. If there is a medical need behind it, that information could have been given and everyone move on.

I think for a lot of people, they want answers as to why they were given up and to me that's like trying to create a fantasy. You might not like the answers, exactly like this case. Who would want to know that they were the product of rape? Bless the woman for going through with that pregnancy, I can't imagine how hard that was. To give birth and still give the child a life, that took a lot. The daughter needs to focus on that gift and move on.

[MoodyJenny86]

Originally Posted by mklady

I feel bad for the daughter, obviously she wanted to know about her biological mother but she should have respected the woman's wishes. If there is a medical need behind it, that information could have been given and everyone move on.

I think for a lot of people, they want answers as to why they were given up and to me that's like trying to create a fantasy. You might not like the answers, exactly like this case. Who would want to know that they were the product of rape? Bless the woman for going through with that pregnancy, I can't imagine how hard that was. To give birth and still give the child a life, that took a lot. The daughter needs to focus on that gift and move on.

^I agree.

And then as other people have stated the media creates these sugar-coated, fairy tale happy ending reunions and that's not how it works in real life!

For example, on Smart Guy a few weeks ago Mo found out he was adopted and he ended up tracking down what he thought was his birth mother and it was all "Hi mom, I'm your son!" and they acted as if they were never apart, wtf?

Talk about bad television.

I have to admit, if I knew I were adopted I'd be curious and try to find my bio parents but if I knew they didn't want anything to do with me I'd kindly step back and accept it.

I'd be sad, confused and maybe even angry...but I'd respect their wishes.

[PinkCadillac]

This is why i think sometimes an abortion is the right thing to do. Personally I wouldn't want to bring a child in the world that is a product of rape, although I do admire that woman for going all through that. Her wishes should have been respected