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Thread: US woman adopts boy from Russia, then sends him back: 'I don't want him anymore'

  1. #16
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I'm sure officials in Tennesee will investigate.

    Sadly this happens more often than people think, even here in the US. The adopted kids from Russia, Romania and the Ukraine have a history of attachment disorder. That is common knowledge and anyone who wants to adopt should be doing their own advance work to fully understand what they are getting into. Here in the US, when adopting an older child from the foster care system you can ask to review their entire file. You should know the details of the childs past; why are they no longer with their parents, are there other members of the bio family who may want to continue a relationship, how many foster homes/schools have they been in, what has the counselor stated from visits, etc. To fully love and parent these children you must know what they have survived so far in life.
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  2. #17
    Elite Member yanna's Avatar
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    They should take this cunt's bio son too. I wouldn't do to a pet what she did to that boy.

  3. #18
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    It seems to me that she was too young to cope with him, herself. 26? An older person might have handled this better, but still! There is no justification for her heartless actions.
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  4. #19
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Eh, my mother had three kids by the time she was 26. This is just a heartless bitch with no soul. She was a pain in the ass but didn't send anyone back.
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  5. #20
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    it's possible the orphanage misrepresented the extent of the kid's issues but she's a dumbass for thinking she could adopt an 'older' kid and that he'd be totally normal. i think it takes a very special person to adopt any kid over the age of 3. like crumpet said, you don't end up in an orphanage because you had a happy, trauma-free childhood. if you adopt an older kid, be prepared for the worst. for years of therapy and difficulties. i could never do it. and i admire people who can. this chick was nave to think she could take on a troubled kid and the way she returned him is execrable. i think there can be cases where a parent (adopted or bio) can be so overwhelmed they feel they can't care for a kid. but there are other ways to do this legally, instead of putting the kid on a plane and sending him back to russia. poor kid. even if it's true he is a psychopath.
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  6. #21
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    I want to know about the dragging him by his hair. That shouts loony tune adoptive mother. Also, I figure the kid didn't speak English so may have been acting out due to frustration, something I've seen a lot with kids thrown into a situation where they can't communicate. This woman is an absolute douchbag and should be brought up on charges. That poor kid. He must have been frightened out of his wits.
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  7. #22
    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
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    The "To Whom It May Concern" note is especially cold.

  8. #23
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    Russia furious over adopted boy sent back from US


    By NATALIYA VASILYEVA and KRISTIN M. HALL, Associated Press Writers Nataliya Vasilyeva And Kristin M. Hall, Associated Press Writers 18 mins ago

    MOSCOW Russia threatened to suspend all child adoptions by U.S. families Friday after a 7-year-old boy adopted by a woman from Tennessee was sent alone on a one-way flight back to Moscow with a note saying he was violent and had severe psychological problems. The boy, Artyom Savelyev, was put on a plane by his adopted grandmother, Nancy Hansen of Shelbyville.

    Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov called the actions by the grandmother "the last straw" in a string of U.S. adoptions gone wrong, including three in which Russian children had died in the U.S.

    The cases have prompted outrage in Russia, where foreign adoption failures are reported prominently. Russian main TV networks ran extensive reports on the latest incident in their main evening news shows.

    The Russian education ministry immediately suspended the license of the group involved in the adoption the World Association for Children and Parents, a Renton, Washington-based agency for the duration of an investigation. In Tennessee, authorities were investigating the adoptive mother, Torry Hansen, 33.
    Any possible freeze could affect hundreds of American families. Last year, nearly 1,600 Russian children were adopted in the United States.

    "We're obviously very troubled by it," U.S. State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said in Washington when asked about the boy's case. He told reporters the U.S. and Russia share a responsibility for the child's safety and Washington will work closely with Moscow to make sure adoptions are legal and appropriately monitored.

    Asked if he thought a suspension by Russia was warranted, Crowley said, "If Russia does suspend cooperation on the adoption, that is its right. These are Russian citizens."

    The boy arrived unaccompanied in Moscow on a United Airlines flight on Thursday from Washington. Social workers sent him to a Moscow hospital for a health checkup and criticized his adoptive mother for abandoning him.

    The Kremlin children's rights office said the boy was carrying a letter from his adoptive mother saying she was returning him due to severe psychological problems.

    "This child is mentally unstable. He is violent and has severe psychopathic issues," the letter said. "I was lied to and misled by the Russian Orphanage workers and director regarding his mental stability and other issues. ...

    "After giving my best to this child, I am sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends, and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child."

    The boy was adopted in September from the town of Partizansk in Russia's Far East.

    Nancy Hansen, the grandmother, told The Associated Press that she and the boy flew to Washington and she put the child on the plane with the note from her daughter. She vehemently rejected assertions of child abandonment by Russian authorities, saying he was watched over by a United Airlines stewardess and the family paid a man $200 to pick the boy up at the Moscow airport and take him to the Russian Education and Science Ministry.

    Nancy Hansen said a social worker checked on the boy in January and reported to Russian authorities that there were no problems. But after that, the grandmother said incidents of hitting, kicking, spitting began to escalate, along with threats.

    "He drew a picture of our house burning down and he'll tell anybody that he's going to burn our house down with us in it," she told The Associated Press in a phone interview. "It got to be where you feared for your safety. It was terrible."

    Nancy Hansen said she and her daughter went to Russia together to adopt the boy, and she believes information about his behavioral problems was withheld from her daughter.


    "The Russian orphanage officials completed lied to her because they wanted to get rid of him," Nancy Hansen said.

    She said the boy was very skinny when they picked him up, and he told them he had been beaten with a broom handle at the orphanage.

    Joseph LaBarbera, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, said adoptive parents are many times not aware of the psychological state of children put up for adoption.
    "Parents enter into it (foreign adoption) with positive motivations but, in a sense, they are a little bit blindsided by their desire to adopt," said LaBarbera, who specializes in the psychological evaluation of children and has worked with a number of children adopted from Russia and other foreign countries. "They're not prepared to appreciate, psychologically, the kinds of conditions these kids have been exposed to and the effect it has had on them."

    Russian state television showed the child in a yellow jacket holding the hands of two chaperones as he left a police precinct and entered a van bound for a Moscow medical clinic.

    The U.S. ambassador to Russia, John Beyrle, said he was "deeply shocked by the news" and "very angry that any family would act so callously toward a child that they had legally adopted."

    Anna Orlova, a spokeswoman for Kremlin's Children Rights Commissioner, told The Associated Press that she visited the boy and he told her that his mother was "bad," "did not love him," and used to pull his hair.

    Russian officials said he turned up at the door of the Russian Education and Science Ministry on Thursday afternoon accompanied by a Russian man who handed over the boy and his documents, then left, officials said. The child holds a Russian passport.

    Rob Johnson, a spokesman for the Tennessee Department of Children's Services, said the agency is looking into Friday's allegations, although it does not handle international adoptions.
    Bedford County Sheriff Randall Boyce also said Torry Hansen was under investigation and expected to interview her Friday afternoon.
    Lavrov said his ministry would recommend that the U.S. and Russia hammer out an agreement before any new adoptions are allowed.
    "We have taken the decision ... to suggest a freeze on any adoptions to American families until Russia and the USA sign an international agreement" on the conditions for adoptions, Lavrov said.

    He said the U.S. had refused to negotiate such an accord in the past but "the recent event was the last straw."

    Pavel Astakhov, the children rights commissioner, said in a televised interview that a treaty is vital to protect Russian citizens in other countries.

    "How can we prosecute a person who abused the rights of a Russian child abroad? If there was an adoption treaty in place, we would have legal means to protect Russian children abroad," he said.

    Julie Snyder, spokeswoman for World Association for Children and Parents in Renton, Washington, said the organization is limited to what it can say because of confidentiality restrictions. She said the group is working with authorities in the U.S. and Russia.

    "It's as shocking to us as to anybody else to hear about it," she said.
    Despite the uproar over adoptions, placing children inside Russia remains difficult. There are more than 740,000 children without parental custody in Russia, according to UNICEF, the United Nations Children's Fund.

    United Airlines disavowed any responsibility and said it requires a parent or guardian dropping off a child for a flight to show an ID and to list who is picking the child up at the destination.

    United spokeswoman Robin Urbanski said all unaccompanied minors on the flight that arrived Thursday in Moscow were picked up by the person listed on the form.

    Previous adoption failures have increased Russian officials' wariness of adoptions to the U.S.

    In 2006, Peggy Sue Hilt of Manassas, Virginia, was sentenced to 25 years in prison after being convicted of fatally beating a 2-year-old girl adopted from Siberia months earlier.

    In 2008, Kimberly Emelyantsev of Tooele, Utah, was sentenced to 15 years after pleading guilty to killing a Russian infant in her care. And in March of this year, prosecutors in Pennsylvania met with a Russian diplomats to discuss how to handle the case of a couple accused of killing their 7-year-old adopted Russian son at their home near the town of Dillsburg.

  9. #24
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    of course the damn nationalistic russians are taking it as a personal insult and lumping all adoptions together because one of them went horribly wrong. even though a great majority of them go well and on the whole adoptive parents are probably a hell of a lot less crazy than bio parents - they have to pass tests and meet certain standards before being given a kid, whereas any idiot with functioning genitals can pop out a kidlet and keep it. so yeah, sometimes adoptions go bad but i'd like to see what percentage of adoptions ends in this type of situation. i am willing to bet it's a tiny percentage. a way smaller percentage than cases of bio parents giving up their kids or abusing them.
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  10. #25
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Does anyone expect the Russian adoption agency to admit that they tried to unload a severely damaged child without making it clear? I'd guess this woman was deliberately misled about the kid's condition. You can be aware that you are getting a kid that has behavioral issues and emotional problems, but what if you get a stone sociopath?

    As I said earlier I really hate the way she handled it. Just wrong.

    That said, I think when the kid is hitting you, or your other children, threatening to burn the house down, etc., you have to worry. These are not little things that some love and patience can fix. Some of these kids are so damaged that they are a danger. Even with your own kid there's a limit- when he's an actual danger to you or your other kids.

    My girlfriend was lucky to have the resources to try to help her two boys, but we often joke (behind her back) that the younger one is going to cut the throats of her and her family one night while they sleep. And if it happens, none of us who know them would be shocked.
    Last edited by witchcurlgirl; April 9th, 2010 at 03:58 PM.
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  11. #26
    Elite Member Sundance's Avatar
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    IF she's telling the truth she had cause for concern but the way she handled it is unacceptable. Who knows what could have happened to this kid? She should be prosecuted for child endangerment.

  12. #27
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl View Post
    Does anyone expect the Russian adoption agency to admit that they tried to unload a severely damaged child without making it clear? I'd guess this woman was deliberately misled about the kid's condition. You can be aware that you are getting a kid that has behavioral issues and emotional problems, but what if you get a stone sociopath?

    As I said earlier I really hate the way she handled it. Just wrong.

    That said, I think when the kid is hitting you, or your other children, threatening to burn the house down, etc., you have to worry. These are not little things that some love and patience can fix. Some of these kids are so damaged that they are a danger. Even with your own kid there's a limit- when he's an actual danger to you or your other kids.

    My girlfriend was lucky to have the resources to try to help her two boys, but we often joke (behind her back) that the younger one is going to cut the throats of her and her family one night while they sleep. And if it happens, none of us who know them would be shocked.
    I get what you're saying but there doesn't seem to be much indication that it's true. And the fact that she handled it in such a callous way makes me think the problem might have been more with her than with the kid.

    Here's a story: when we moved to Oz a few months later a kid showed up in the heathens class fromRussia. He couldn't speak a single word of english and was bullied and, as a result, he lashed out. Heathen was quite confused by this but I talked to him about it and asked him how it would feel to move to Russia and not be able to understand anyone around him. He got it and made a huge effort to make friends with the russian kid. Russian kid slowly started to learn a few words and when we moved he left a card for heathen on his desk saying 'you are good friend'. We hear now that the russian kid is doing well but I understand why he reacted physically. He just couldno communicate and the school was crap and slow at setting things up to help him.

    So what I'm saying is that the kid wasn't necessarily a psycho, he may have just been thrown into a really bad situation and reacted as anyone would in a similar situation. The 'mother' is a cockhead and should be investigated. I am really disturbed by the dragging by the hair part of the story. And the fact that neither kid went to school.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

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    Quote Originally Posted by mella View Post
    But what exactly did she expect? He was in the system and then sent half way around the world to live in a foreign country with a new language and a new culture . What he needed was time and therapy
    Exactly!! I would have been happy to take the little guy. I have friends who could have helped us with the language barrier as well. Which is probably what the major problem was with the mom, not the child. Communication barriers can be frustrating however, it is the responsibility of the adoptive parent to educate the child, not turn them away.

    This woman has no idea the amount of long term trauma she has caused.

  14. #29
    Elite Member bellini's Avatar
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    Maybe the boy is better off going back to Russia. I've heard of quite a few cases where adopting parents just aren't able to cope with children who have emotional issues. Some of these kids have RAD (reactive attachment disorder) which can mean years of constant therapy. There have been a few case where the children have actually been murdered because the parents have snapped or they turn to quacky therapists advising dangerous techniques. Here's some cases:

    What's the harm in Attachment Therapy?

  15. #30
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Oh bloody hell. You take a kid from a foreign country and then act surprised that he's flipping out because of a language barrier? At 7 years old? He's not a baby that doesn't have established speech. He's already got that. I hate this woman for doing this. I, an avowed pacifist, would beat her ass down for no money at all. I would smack her round about the face and neck for doing this to a little kid. Fucking bitch from hell. I don't care what her lame-assed excuse is. She is rotten and awful and truly callous. I can not believe anyone could do somethigng this cruel. Investigate the family and throw her sorryass in jail, where I hope she is beaten down severely.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

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