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Thread: The Tragic Story of Tyler Clementi, Rutgers' Webcam Voyeurism Victim

  1. #76
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    18 is the legal age for adults. Stop calling even college freshmen "children". They are not. By 18, they do know right from wrong. He is well past the nanny age. This ain't boarding school for minors. You can defend this jerk all you want, he is a creep and will go on to be 30,40 or 50 year old creep. He has no remorse. He is upset that he got caught out. He has no soul.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizzybabe View Post
    Ravi was laughing and joking with his friends about the hookup(s). He couldn't have been that scared. He was so "scared" he watched them not once, but twice - and invited his friends to watch along with him.

    In fact, he seemed like he was having quite the blast watching Tyler and his friend.
    As I've said earlier, most men don't discuss fear or things that cause discomfort. The acceptable way to articulate these things are with jokes.

    Fear roots itself in a lot of feelings. Many boys will never admit being afraid or even feel fear. Fear can express itself though nervous distaste/disgust. A lot of times when people see something distasteful, they can't help themselves but to watch out of morbid curiosity. Kids/Adults are all curious about sex, wanting to know what's going on between the little boy and the strange older man. Nervously joking about it, wanting others to view it and commiserate over their feelings of disgust/curiosity/opinion etc.

  3. #78
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Little boy??
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    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    That's in no way a borderline paedophile situation! Both were legal adults. 18 and 25 is no big deal at all. Nobody in that situation was a child. I don't think he looked younger than his age either.

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    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    ^18 is not a child and 25 is hardly a scary old man to an 18 year old.

    And
    I don't believe that there is anything wrong with a straight boy feeling uncomfortable with a gay roommate.
    I believe there is. That's saying it's acceptable to feel homophobic.

    ETA: This is to Soogar's post up the page.
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  6. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarzy View Post
    That's in no way a borderline paedophile situation! Both were legal adults. 18 and 25 is no big deal at all. Nobody in that situation was a child. I don't think he looked younger than his age either.
    'The 32-year-old man testified that he met Clementi on a social-networking site for gay men and that they eventually met three times in the student's dorm room. The two conversed online, exchanged text messages and eventually had sex, he said.'

    Guilty verdict in Rutgers webcam spying case - CNN.com

    The man was 32 and the incident happened 2 years ago. Unless they lied about his age to protect his identity.

  7. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seapharris7 View Post
    I dont think the highlighted part is talked about enough. As someone brought up a former racist GR member that has since been outed by the community here, I would LOVE to believe the reason his "viewing party" failed is because his peers told him what he was doing/trying to do was fucked up.

    Too bad no one reported prior, but I do think some classmates may have told Tyler & that's how he knew or had his suspicions. I only wish he didnt have to kill himself for this all to be brought to light. And Ravi seems like a cocky asshole who thought he could get away with NO punishment, evidence by him refusing the plea deal.
    This. It seems like he refuses to acknowledge that what he did was wrong. Pathetic asshole. Kiss your Ivy League education good bye.
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    ^18 is not a child and 25 is hardly a scary old man to an 18 year old.

    And I believe there is. That's saying it's acceptable to feel homophobic.

    ETA: This is to Soogar's post up the page.
    Being homophobic and being uncomfortable with same sex behavior/attention in your living quarters are totally different things. Many gay men will comment on other men whom they observe in locker room situations. In my own personal work situation, two men roomed together- one gay and the other guy unknown, eventually he came out as straight- and the gay guy continually speculated on his colleague's sexual orientation and appearance based upon their social interactions in their hotel room which were not sexual in nature.

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    Quote Originally Posted by soogar View Post
    'The 32-year-old man testified that he met Clementi on a social-networking site for gay men and that they eventually met three times in the student's dorm room. The two conversed online, exchanged text messages and eventually had sex, he said.'
    So he wasn't a stranger then if they'd met more than once. Where did you get the info that he was a hobo? Just because they went to the student's place and not his, that makes him homeless, and therefore scary to the other kid who wasn't even in the room but so terrified he set up a webcam and was watching remotely?
    "You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."



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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    So he wasn't a stranger then if they'd met more than once. Where did you get the info that he was a hobo? Just because they went to the student's place and not his, that makes him homeless, and therefore scary to the other kid who wasn't even in the room but so terrified he set up a webcam and was watching remotely?
    A 30 year old guy who is willing to go a kid's dorm room does not have have his own place. Plus Ravi said his initial impression was that the guy was shifty looking.

    You can sugarcoat it all that you want but a man with his own place isn't going to want to deal with a crappy dorm and single twin bed.

    And meeting someone several times over an internet site for the purpose of sex doesn't mean that the kid knows him.

  11. #86
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    So you don't know for certain whether the guy was homeless, you're just assuming that, right? Which apparently makes it ok for their private moments to be broadcast over the internet.

    And you keep using the term "kid" as if he's a minor. He was an 18 year old which I believe even in the US is over the age of consent.

    I guess if he'd met a woman on a dating site that would have been OK? But because it's a "creepy" "old" man it's somehow scary and the pervy roommate had every right to do what he did.
    "You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."



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    As far as feeling uncomfortable with someone being gay--when you go to college, you may be confronted with people who are different from you, and that is something you have to learn to deal with. If there are any kind of issues with your roommate, you have to figure out if you can work them out, learn to live with them, need outside intervention, or have to get out of the situation. That is part of growing up. Yes, it's hard. But people do it without resorting to the heinous invasion of privacy and harassment that Ravi engaged in.

    I guess if he'd met a woman on a dating site that would have been OK? But because it's a "creepy" "old" man it's somehow scary and the pervy roommate had every right to do what he did.

    As for bringing someone he barely knows into the dorm and having sex with him, well, a lot of college students are engaged in one-nighters and it's not that unusual. I will say that if it was me or my daughter in the situation and the roommate brought home an older guy from outside the community, I might be a little worried about it. But to some extent, I think it's part of what I mentioned about about figuring out how to deal with new situations and things that are outside of your comfort zone. And I think if I were in that situation I might express concern about safety to the roommate. I mean, let's be honest, security is a concern at universities and it is part of common courtesy to those around you to be aware of who you bring into the dorm. But it still smells like just an excuse to me in this case and I sure as hell wouldn't webcam them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by soogar View Post
    As I've said earlier, most men don't discuss fear or things that cause discomfort. The acceptable way to articulate these things are with jokes.

    Fear roots itself in a lot of feelings. Many boys will never admit being afraid or even feel fear. Fear can express itself though nervous distaste/disgust. A lot of times when people see something distasteful, they can't help themselves but to watch out of morbid curiosity. Kids/Adults are all curious about sex, wanting to know what's going on between the little boy and the strange older man. Nervously joking about it, wanting others to view it and commiserate over their feelings of disgust/curiosity/opinion etc.
    Oh please - can the faux psychology BS you're spewing.

    You keep treating the defendant (Ravi) as though he's some 12-year old boy with virgin ears, totally foreign to the concept of sex.

    He was planning viewer parties for god's sake, so that he and his friends could watch and laugh at Tyler. There was NO fear present anywhere. If he was truly fearful he would have gone to his dorm advisor or someone from the school and told them what was going on.

    If you read this New Yorker article from early February, it mentions that Ravi had tried to set up webcams before, trying to scam his friends into installing the software he created so he could spy on them:

    Tyler Clementi’s Suicide and Dharun Ravi’s Trial : The New Yorker

    Pg. 8 of online article:

    According to Tam, Ravi had already explored unorthodox uses of webcams. For a high-school physics project, Ravi had tried to link a webcam to a hobbyist coil gun. In the summer before college, he wrote a computer program that prompted webcams to snap photographs, at intervals, and upload them to a Web site. He disguised the program as something else, and tried to get friends to install it. Some did, Tam said, but they weren’t tricked: they “noticed their webcam light turn on, so it was obvious.” (Clementi, then, was apparently not the first subject of a webcam experiment.) Tam thinks that, by the evening of September 19th, Ravi had already told him that he intended to use a webcam to see why Clementi had begun asking for exclusive use of their room.
    Another paragraph, pg.10 of the article (online version):
    At 5:20 P.M., Ravi tweeted, “6 foot wall of lobster crab and shrimp. I love rutgers.” (It was King Neptune Night in the dining hall.) At 6:39 P.M., he followed this up with “Anyone with iChat, I dare you to video chat me between the hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes, it’s happening again.” Alissa Agarwal, a student living in Davidson C, walked across campus with Ravi, and others, after supper that evening. She told police that although she had been “zoning him out,” she heard him “bragging” about his plan to broadcast Clementi’s date. The group went to Agarwal’s room. Prosecutors allege that, at 7:44 P.M., Ravi used Agarwal’s computer to check the iChat connection with his own computer.
    There was no "fear" present, he was a voyeur, who got off on watching people through a webcam. Period. I doubt this will stop your ridiculous support of Dharun Ravi though.

    The full New Yorker article: Tyler Clementi’s Suicide and Dharun Ravi’s Trial : The New Yorker

  14. #89
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    Tyler believed the guy was 25 it says so here: Tyler Clementi’s Suicide and Dharun Ravi’s Trial : The New Yorker

    Not sure what's the deal with the age but either way, Tyler sure didn't look any younger than 18, 25 or 30 is not such a huge deal about the other guy and it was inappropriate to request the room for sex but all Ravi had to do was say no, not spy on him.
    What if Superman is psychotic and everyone can see that he's Clark Kent but they just play along not to set him off?

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    Quote Originally Posted by soogar View Post
    A 30 year old guy who is willing to go a kid's dorm room does not have have his own place. Plus Ravi said his initial impression was that the guy was shifty looking.

    You can sugarcoat it all that you want but a man with his own place isn't going to want to deal with a crappy dorm and single twin bed.

    And meeting someone several times over an internet site for the purpose of sex doesn't mean that the kid knows him.
    So? Nothing Tyler did warranted Ravi's voyeurism and attempts to humiliate him. If the issue was fear, Ravi had a dozen other appropriate ways to handle it. Given the evidence presented, it sounds like Ravi was more interested in humiliating Tyler than getting a stranger out of the room.

    Comparing the difficultly of simply saying "I'm not comfortable with a stranger in the room" to setting up a webcam, tweeting a viewing party, logging into his account from multiple locations, it becomes pretty obvious that Ravi's intent was malicious rather than defensive.

    Ravi refused a very good plea deal that took into account his youth and naivete. Something is wrong with this guy that he wouldn't understand the social and legal repercussions of his actions, and understand the gift he was offered. Entitled little man, I bet he was the family genius child.
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