Since the school referred the case to the police, the tape is probably in the hands of the authorities, who won't show or release any evidence (ESPECIALLY in cases involving minors) until an investigation is completed. The authorities and/or the DA are probably using the tape to evaluate the incident and decide how to proceed. At this point, it's likely no longer the school's decision as to what the mom is shown or told.
Even if the mom is the most understanding parent in the world, I can see why the school wouldn't show her the tape. A possibly criminal incident occurred, and they no doubt followed their procedures according to the law and to protect their employee, and that probably doesn't include inviting the parents of the possible perpetrator into some office and showing them the video of the incident. It could not only harm any potential legal proceedings, but what would happen if they did that and then some parent went off on the kid to try and punish them? The authorities can decide to show the mom the tape, or the mom can hire a lawyer for the kid and he can see it if a court case proceeds. But the parents of minor offenders don't have any right to see the evidence against their kid during an investigation.
"Don't trust nobody, and 'nobody' meaning Jay Leno in particular." -Chris Rock
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