Where The Hell Is Custard?!
American Greetings unveiled the all-new Strawberry Shortcake today. She got her hair straightened, lost some weight, got a bigger head, put on some green contacts and put on a little bit of make-up. The company also said she eats fruit instead of gumdrops and chats on her cell phone instead of playing with her cat, Custard. NO! That's fine if they want to turn Strawberry Shortcake into Strawberry HOcake, but keep Custard! And what the hell does she need a celly for? To check in with her pimp?
You want to hear something even worse than Strawberry being without Custard?
American Greetings is also planning to give the Care Bears a makeover this fall. They are going to lipo some of their fat out and give them longer eyelashes! NOOOO!!! They are going to look like whores too. Care Bear Whores! Can we just timeport back into the 80s? Please! It was so much simpler then.
Where The Hell Is Custard?! | Dlisted
eat a hot bowl of dicks.
white, black, puerto rican/everybody just a freakin'/good times were rollin'.
Now she reminds me of Phoebe Price. Why did they have to tart up Strawberry Shortcake?
Can these people stop raping my childhood?
~~~Jesus please save me from your fanclub~~~
Take everything the 80s babies hold dear and give it an anorexic, cheesecake, skanky makeover.
Well, they made Holly Hobbie into a hoochie, so this doesn't surprise me.
Ew, Holly Hobby looks like that dank well-girl from The Ring.
That or a shanty kid.
I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.
First the smurfs, now strawberry shortcake..dammit is nothing from my childhood sacred! WTF?!
I Bleed Purple-Baltimore and Proud!
Custard was the best part!
The funniest part to me is that the "New" Strawberry Shortcake looks more dated then the original. This one looks like it's was a cheap Disney cartoon/Macdonald's tie-in from the 90's.
Librarians are hiding something.
But seriously I'm not a strwaberry shortcake fan at all so it does'nt bother me. Now if they remake the Flintstones then I'm gonna be pissed!
Next they'll make Rainbow Brite look like she belongs on the pole. Is nothing sacred?
I don't like it at all. Part of the original Strawberry Shortcakes appeal was her original looks. Now she looks like a slighty less skank version of a Bratz Doll.
My goal is to be happy with my life.
Pfft That is NOT Strawberry Shortcake!
ETA: They're making over the Care Bears too? Oh that is IT! Blasphemy! Blasphemy I say!!! Somebody hand me my gloves, I'ma going bitch slapping.
President Barack ObamaSounds amazing, doesn't it?
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