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Thread: Reformed hookers make gay man straight with magic cake! mmmm cake

  1. #1
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Default Reformed hookers make gay man straight with magic cake! mmmm cake

    Pastor: Ex-hookers’ anointed cake turned gay man straight

    By Jackie Salo

    March 23, 2017 | 10:30pm


    A Texas pastor claims an “anointed cake” baked by hookers had the power to turn a gay bar owner straight.
    In a rambling Periscope video, Lance Wallnau, who is an evangelist from Dallas, responded to a viewer’s request for deliverance for her gay son.

    Wallnau, who has 200,000 Facebook followers, said last week that he heard a story about the gay and “very adamantly anti-Christian” man who owned the bar.
    According to Wallnau, the bar was frequented by reformed hookers, who decided to bake a cake for the owner.
    “They basically prayed over the cake,” he said. “It was an anointed cake.”

    Before the owner could finish eating the cake, he had undergone a transformative experience.
    “The power of God hit him while he was eating the cake,” Wallnau said.

    The pastor told viewers that the man was baptized and ultimately the “spirit that was working him got broken off.”
    However, he admitted that an anointed cake might not be the answer for everyone.
    “This is crazy,” he said. “Now, I’m not saying this is going to work for you.”

    The “God’s Chaos Candidate” author has made some controversial claims before. Last month, he said that the media used “mind control and witch craft,” according to Right Wing Watch.
    He has also claimed that President Trump’s victory was a “manifestation of an enraged demon through the populace.”


    Pastor: Ex-hookers? anointed cake turned gay man straight | New York Post
    "But I am very poorly today & very stupid & I hate everybody & everything." -- Charles Darwin

  2. #2
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    OK, but if it were the 17th century, I'm pretty sure those reformed hookers would be burned at the stake for baking a magical cake and changing someone's sexuality...unless someone burned the gay guy first, I guess. Ah, progress!
    greysfang and Lalasnake like this.
    "AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE."

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    Elite Member lindsaywhit's Avatar
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    Yeah, but, a “manifestation of an enraged demon through the populace.” is about the most logical reasoning I've seen for a Drumpf presidency.
    twitchy2.0 and Lalasnake like this.


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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    except that, if you look at the comment in its original context, he is making Trump out to be the savior in cleaning out Obama's evil
    "But I am very poorly today & very stupid & I hate everybody & everything." -- Charles Darwin

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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    I bet he still prefers buns.
    "I am a social vegan; I avoid meet!” Anonymous Introvert

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    Elite Member lindsaywhit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    except that, if you look at the comment in its original context, he is making Trump out to be the savior in cleaning out Obama's evil
    I like my version better.
    twitchy2.0 likes this.


  7. #7
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    It's more truthful!
    lindsaywhit likes this.
    "But I am very poorly today & very stupid & I hate everybody & everything." -- Charles Darwin

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    Elite Member stella blue's Avatar
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    The pastor told viewers that the man was baptized and ultimately the “spirit that was working him got broken off.”
    That sounds like a Skinemax promo.

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    I laughed so hard, I snorted.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BITTER View Post
    I bet he still prefers buns.
    I had to log in just so I could lol this. *LOL*

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