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Thread: Researchers:What Even Is the Biological Reason for Women to Stay Alive Past Menopause

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    Elite Member stef's Avatar
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    Default Researchers:What Even Is the Biological Reason for Women to Stay Alive Past Menopause

    Researchers Wonder: What Even Is the Biological Reason for Women to Stay Alive Past Menopause?



    Julianne Escobedo Shepherd
    Wednesday 12:50pmFiled to: menopause
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    In the perpetual struggle for women over 40 to maintain their relevance in the eyes of this hellish society, a trio of helpful researchers at a university in Liverpool have performed a study that asks: Why do women even biologically stay alive after menopause? Like, post-breeding age, why don’t we just kick rocks, my ladies?

    As the Telegraph points out in a satisfyingly snarky piece, the researchers’s conclusion is that human women refrain from dropping dead as soon as their reproductive system goes dormant because we need to stay alive to fulfill our purpose of nurturing our children and grandchildren. Or, as the researchers put it, “late-life helping.”

    This might be a more essential biological function if we were, say, any other type of mammal that does not organize complex societies, such as a few of the 25 other species the scientists studied—female killer whales also apparently refuse to croak after they stop being fertile, by the way—but we do. And the researchers don’t seem to be sure why females of multiple species survive after breeding age; is it “evolutionary tinkering,” or “male philopatry,” they wonder? Who knows. The fact of the study is hilarious in a gallows sense, and very clear: what’s the point of females even living after their primary function of popping out the seeds is done with? Like: Come on, you old, girl! NEXT!

    Also, the researchers did not study males, human or otherwise, which seems dubious! But I’m no scientist. The Telegraph:


    Now, I’m all for finding out more about our ‘biological purpose’, but the reality is that it has little bearing on the role we fulfil in society.
    The reproductive field has changed so dramatically since the inception of humanity billions of years ago that even asking what women ‘offer the world’ save for churning out sproglets feels somewhat reductive. Don’t you think?


    I do think! And from a sociological perspective, feminists have long pointed out that nurturing is not exactly a woman’s biological imperative, particularly in organized matriarchies that still exist today. So pardon me if I do not croak after menopause even if I don’t have children—god forbid!—but I got other shit to do. We outchea.



    Researchers Wonder: What Even Is the Biological Reason for Women to Stay Alive Past Menopause?
    "This is not meant to be at all offensive: You suffer from diarrhea of the mouth but constipation of the brain." - McJag

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    That's an asshole-y question. I'm surprised someone even funded a research project like that.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    Maybe they're alive just so they can shoot these researchers. Or get stabby, like grey's avatar.
    Nevan, Kittylady, Alysheba and 5 others like this.
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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Excellent suggestion.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    I'm going to stay alive after the menopause simply to find shit that my other half can't find because he can't fucking look properly.
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

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    Gee, ladies, why don't we all just lay down and die, so all the old, wrinkled dicks in the world can fuck young snatch.

    This infuriates me.
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    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    now that i passed menopause i finally have a good reason to kick the shit out of someone (not that i need a reason)
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    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    I remember reading something years ago, (in a book, before the internet) about women in either South America or maybe Africa that were envied once they passed menopause because they could have as much sex as they wanted without getting pregnant. All the young women couldn't wait to get through their child bearing years and the young men would chase after the older women. I wish I could remember where it was because at the time I vowed I would move there when I got old.
    "You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."



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    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    I will admit this though. As I was having my period last weekend, I thought, "I'm done. WTF do I need this for anymore? Can't I just be done?"
    KrisNine and MontanaMama like this.
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    Elite Member Bluebonnet's Avatar
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    I had a hysterectomy in my mid 30's and it was so wonderful to be free of female organ shit and cramps and pain and hormone bullshit and I was going around to my women friends all:

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    Elite Member panic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    about women in either South America or maybe Africa that were envied once they passed menopause because they could have as much sex as they wanted without getting pregnant. All the young women couldn't wait to get through their child bearing years
    This applies to me because I think it would be SO LIBERATING to not have to deal with getting my period and cramps every month.
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    I suppose I should feel suicidal. Instead I feel homicidal.
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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    My reason is to drink much nice wine.
    panic likes this.
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    Elite Member Brah's Avatar
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    Why do we even need women when they're not ovulating? I say we lock 'em up in storage bins when they're not actively fertile. We just need to be sure to feed them, but only intermittently, so they stay thin.

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    Elite Member Annika's Avatar
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    if one guy can impregnate infinite women then we should cull the heard of all the gross useless men that annoy us and only keep the ones that are desireable to procreate with. i don't even care what we do with the useless ones. deball them and make them manservants. throw them into a pit of rabid cats. send them to mars. bring back the 'mcrib' all year long.
    panic, Brah, greysfang and 1 others like this.

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