Babies are today's status symbol

[Grimmlok]

CATHERINE MULRONEY


It's probably a good thing I've put my baby days behind me. Recent observations suggest I have neither the taste nor the cash to do it all again.

Yet again I've missed out on a trend. Just as I'm turning diapers turned into dust cloths, babies have become a fashion statement. Infants, and all the accoutrements that go with them, are hot.

While there have always been babies, there haven't always been $700 jogging strollers or baby clothes with upscale labels like Burberry. Many infant items out there are so expensive they really seem more like an investment than a practical item that's going to take a great deal of wear and tear. If I were an economist, I'd like to study whether the luxury items popping up around town are the result of both parents working or whether sometimes both parents choose to work to buy the big-ticket items.

The pragmatist in me can't help but wonder how mom and dad feel the first time baby spits up on a $100 T-shirt or a diaper leaks on the same stroller Tom and Katie have selected for Suri.

When I walk past Pottery Barn Kids I'm relieved no one knows our kids' bedrooms are largely decorated with furniture that Mike and I had in our rooms when we were kids.

And when my community newspaper contains pages of ads for expensive infant classes and pricey preschools, many of which have sprung up in the short time since our youngest was in nursery school, I'm glad I don't have to stew about whether my children's shot at getting into Harvard will be ruined if we opt for finger painting over nuclear physics.

As a parent who has always been inclined to worry — are they happy? are they healthy? is their diet balanced? am I handl- ing discipline properly? — I couldn't begin to compete with many yummy mummies' baby lifestyles. There are enough serious things to think about without adding worries about whether I can keep up with the Joneses.

Not everyone appears to be daunted by the baby wars, however. Last month, 62-year-old child psychiatrist Patricia Rashbrook celebrated becoming the oldest woman in England to give birth by posing for a glamorous photo shoot with her baby. Her husband, by the way, is a mere 60 years old.

I looked at the photos of mother and child with a mixture of horror and fascination. While still wondering what was going though Rashbrook's head, I was amused to read the doctor overseeing her fertility treatment said that Rashbrook had the body of a woman in her 40s, perhaps the ultimate in left-handed compliments.

All things may be relative, but as the owner of a body in its 40s, I would not relish the thought of a return to nighttime feedings, cleaning house with a baby on one hip or chasing after a toddler at the park, let alone doing it at an age when other women are starting to fill out pension applications. Memories of the challenges to one's stamina a newborn can present are perhaps the world's most effective birth control.

Even in my 20s there were nights when I fell into bed exhausted after a full day of doing the countless tasks associated with having a baby, and Mike would be collapsed right next to me. With that in mind, I assumed Rashbrook was a classic case of how ignorance really can be bliss, only to discover she has three grown children from her first marriage, so she knows what she's getting into.

If nothing else, my own vanity would stem any desire for a pre-retirement baby. The first time someone mistook me for my child's grandmother I'd be grouchy, to say the least.

Other concerns are more pressing. Rashbrook's son will be 18 when his mother turns 80. Mortality tables notwithstanding, little JJ may well spend most of his life motherless, or caring for someone a mere shadow of her former self.

A baby at 62 is a luxury no potential parent should even ponder.

http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/Con...d=968332188492

[LynnieD]

Hey, I'm right in style!! For once!

[crumpet]

I'm glad to be right out of style for once!!

[Grimmlok]

I'll never be in style. I'm going to have to be content with driving my huge motorized penis around when I turn 40 and stop by a Corvette dealership.

[A*O]

There's a time and a place for everything, and having a baby at age 62 isn't one of them. Shame on that woman for being so selfish and stupid, and double shame on the IVF docs who agreed to make a baby for her (and got their names into the record books too).

As for expensive baby junk, it's all part of the I'm The Best Mommy competition. The more you spend on your nursery, baby designer clothes and accessories, obviously the more you love your baby and the better parent you are.

[Grimmlok]

"Tyler, go away. Mommy doesn't love you right now."

[AliceInWonderland]

yeah its pretty sickening that teenage girls feel this way and the way some cultures celebrate a baby is a little over the top too, with parties upon parties so of course the girl would want to get pregnant and get all this attention and recieve all this shit and for what?! Doing what ppl have been doing for millions of years! It sickens me! Ppl are having kids for all the wrong reasons nowadays and all these bastard children are growing up to be polluted unscrupulous A-holes w/ no decent father-figures to reference when making important decisions in their lives and often neglectful crappy mothers who pass them off to their grandparents b/c for one reason or another they were too damn young to have them and/or totally not ready.

[A*O]

I love watching medical doccos on TV, the gorier the better. One of them is Maternity Ward on Discovery Channel that shows labours and births, some straightforward and some very difficult and/or emergencies. There's a wide variety of women from all kinds of backgrounds and it's interesting to see the cultural differences surrounding the whole process of having a baby. For example, it's quite common for Mexican women to refuse any pain relief because their husbands think it's 'better' to give birth yelling and screaming in agony. It somehow makes the whole experience more 'real'. Yeah right Jose.

The other group of 'difficult' labours is the very young teenmoms who obviously thought having a baby involved basking in the street cred of being preggo but gave no thought to giving birth and actually looking after a real baby afterwards. These girls are physiologically absolutely ideal for labour and birth but psychologically they are totally fucked up. Most of them basically just 'give up' when it starts to hurt or requires a teens worst nightmare, EFFORT, and many of them end up having emergency c-sections because they can't be persuaded to quit whining about how much it hurts and get on with pushing, HARD. Needless to say if (and it's a big IF) the proud 17yr old babydaddy is there he mostly stands around being clueless and useless - a glimpse of things to come no doubt.

[hotmommy]

I detest those parents who dress their kids in 100 dollar outfits just to feed their own ego's. My kids, ages 3 and 2, wear Walmart, Ebay bargains, hand-me-downs, and stuff from the Military Commissary (we're an army family) and you know what??? THEY LOOK FUCKING ADORABLE! I weed out what looks grungy from what people give me and they wear the cute stuff. I get compliments everywhere I take them on how cute they are and none of their stuff costs over 7.00. I had no shame in taking second hand baby gear when they were born cause I belive you use that stuff (strollers, jumpers, swings, etc) and pass em on!

[AliceInWonderland]

^ Yeah A*O this teen couple in Torrance california just recently had their baby at the hospital and decided to sleep w/ it in the bed w/ them. Well they woke up the next morning only to find it dead. They had accidently sufficated it to death; prob better off that way imo; hope they're infertile now too. ^ DARWIN AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lobelia]

I had babies before having babies was cool.

I didn't love them, though. People could tell, because I didn't spend much $$$ on them. I thought that spending a lot of money on a baby who couldn't tell the difference was retarded. I had more fun spending it on myself.

Bad Lobelia.

[Grimmlok]

well thats why god invented burlap.

[Lobelia]

Burlap? Whatever for?

[Chalet]

I went to a baby shower many years ago in LA where the kids were accessories, like a hot handbag. Each mother brought along her child and their nanny so they could enjoy the party without running after the kid. Two women were actors, Melanie Mayron from Thirtysomething and Ann Magnuson. None of the women seemed to have any interest in children. It was like - Oh, they're so cute, I should probably get one of those.

[darksithbunny]

WTF is wrong with people? Having babies at 60? They will be dead before the poor child can take care of itself!