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Thread: Daughter live tweets her dad dying

  1. #1
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    Default Daughter live tweets her dad dying

    “Jokes can be noble. Laughs are exactly as honorable as tears. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion, to the futility of thinking and striving anymore. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward — and since I can start thinking and striving again that much sooner.”

    Kurt Vonnegut, St. Clement's Episcopal Church, April 19, 1980


    Comedian and "Conan" writer Laurie Kilmartin is, at the time of this posting, watching her father pass away. She and her mother and sister are doing all of the things that families often do when a loved one is in their last days: they're helping him to the bathroom, organizing visits with grandchildren, professing their love again and again, reassuring him it's ok to go, watching and waiting, waiting, waiting.

    And the one other thing they're doing is laughing.
    The reason we know what Kilmartin is going through is because she has been live tweeting the entire experience. And before you tsk-tsk the whole thing as another sad emblem of "the way the world is now," you should go back and look at the posts. If you've ever lost a parent, you will most likely relate. If you have yet to, you may find something that will one day help you cope with your own loss.
    Among the myriad tweets are wry observations of the day-to-day business of dealing with a sick parent...

    https://twitter.com/anylaurie16?orig...w_p=tweetembed


    Laurie Kilmartin Is Live Tweeting Her Father's Last Days... And It Is Heartbreakingly Funny

    Personally, i'd LOVE it if my daughter did something like this. My life has been one of humor, normal and NOT normal.
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  2. #2
    Elite Member MmeVertigina's Avatar
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    Those tweets at the link are funny and touching. I am sure she knows her dad would approve.

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    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    How can you not make bad jokes at a time like that? I know I did.
    These people don't give a fuck about YOU or us. It's a message board, for Christ's sake. ~ mrs.v ~
    ~"Fuck off! Aim higher! Get a life! Get away from me!" ~the lovely and talented Miss Julia Roberts~



  4. #4
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    I think death is made more frightening, especially for the person dying, when everyone around them is crying and sad all the time. I want to be surrounded by happiness and laughter. I know it sounds silly, but I don't want my last days to be around a bunch of sad people. Of course, you know that the people you love and that love you are going to be heartbroken when you die, but they have the time to grieve when you're gone. I would want to share good stories and memories. That's just me.
    A*O and Air Quotes like this.

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    Silver Member misrule's Avatar
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    I love that her tweets are both touching and humorous , I would like to have someone like this around me in my final days.
    She's tactful, and not exploiting him at all. If there was more of this sort of thing it may help to take away some of the fear and stigma that surrounds death. Some moments are boring, some moments are devastating, and some are really funny- same as life. And like life, we all deal with it differently. I think this is really touching but I'm sure there are those who would be horrified at the thought.

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    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    when my mother was dying, we were gathered around her bed. My dad clammed up, and i felt so uncomfortable because were all just staring at her.

    so i said 'I feel like we're seagulls fighting over a french fry'.

    LOL, no one laughed.
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  7. #7
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
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    This one really cracked me up.

    Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
    Follow

    Every day, I set a new goal of not seeing Dad's genitals when I help him off the toilet.

    12:57 AM - 26 Feb 2014
    'I had to get rid of the kid. The cat was allergic.'

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    Hit By Ban Bus! rockchick's Avatar
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    When my mother was dying from Alzheimer's, my sister and I were her caregivers and joking and laughter were our coping mechanisms. Mom was semi-conscious, but would have approved.

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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    When my mom was in her last 2 weeks of life on home hospice care, she made more jokes than the rest of us did. It was how she handled life. I'll probably do the same thing when my time arrives.
    msdeb likes this.
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
    Laugh Uncontrollably. And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    You know, as much as I personally don't 'get' twitter, some people do and as someone who has lost a parent, I agree with the idea that whatever helps you cope and grieve and make sense of what's happening, is a good thing. And this isn't the first time I've seen twitter used for that purpose. Last year, an acquaintance was going through the same thing. She is a very accomplished, high achieving lawyer, totally type A, driven, competitive, and not someone who is in the habit of sharing her feelings, and pretty much the last person you'd expect to not only share those feelings but to do it publicly. But anyway, she created a twitter where she would post about how she was feeling. Also, it's not like this was in her name and people could search it, she basically let her friends know she had this twitter, as a way for her friends to know what she was going through and also so she didn't have to repeat over and over again to everyone who asked how she was doing. ironically by putting this online it was simultaneously a way to vent about what she was going through, and to protect herself from the constant, well-meaning but disruptive questions and expressions of concern from everyone around her. I found it really interesting and healthy that she found this outlet that let her share her experience but in a way that was controlled enough for her to feel comfortable doing it. I don't know her that well - we have a friend in common - but found myself having an intense discussion about this at a party one night because I guess she knew from our mutual friend that I'd lost my dad and I guess when you're going through that it's natural to seek out other semi-orphans.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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