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Thread: Nothing To See Here, Just A Man Caught Boning an Inflatable Pool Toy

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Default Nothing To See Here, Just A Man Caught Boning an Inflatable Pool Toy





    Nothing To See Here, Just A Man Caught Boning an Inflatable Pool Toy

    An Ohio man who loves summer, like, more than a friend, was charged with public indecency after several children witnessed him having sex with a pool toy this week. How does that even work? What is going on?

    According to The Smoking Gun, a great source for news stories that will make you emit sounds that you didn't know you could make (when I read this story, I made a sound that was like "gawwwwrrrp?" aloud and Dodai started laughing at me), the 34-year-old floatyfucker is Hamilton, Ohio's Edwin Tobergta. Take it away, COPS of the internet,

    According to a Hamilton Police Department report, Tobergta “stepped out of his back door, naked and was havingsexual relations with a rubber pool float.” Investigators added that Tobergta’s alleged encounter with the item “occurred in front of several children who saw his genitals and his actions with the float. The children were under the age of 10 and it occurred in the afternoon during the daylight hours.”

    In response, Florida governor Rick Scott has assembled an emergency task force whose only job is to claim the title of Our Nation's Pool Toy Fucking Capitol for the Sunshine State.*


    *If that sentence were not a joke, it would be the most useful thing Rick Scott would have done during his term as governor. Sorry. Potshot.
    greysfang likes this.
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    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    Can't a man make love to his pool toy in the privacy of his own back yard anymore? Those kids were just peeping toms!
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    The pool toy was asking for it.
    Quazar and msdeb like this.

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    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    slutty pool toy shouldn't have been red, we all know men love red
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    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    It was definitely a blow job.
    A*O, Quazar and sluce like this.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

  6. #6
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    OMG!! IT'S THE SAME GUY!!!

    Man accused of having sex with pool raft had also violated inflatable pumpkin

    Ohio is not a safe place for inflatable pool toys.
    Quazar likes this.

  7. #7
    Elite Member Quazar's Avatar
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    Both Ohio and Florida were mentioned in the article.

    Some of best comments in this thread!
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  8. #8
    A*O
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    Is the guy married to the pool toy? If so, I don't see a problem.
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
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    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    What if it's just a civil union or common law relationship with the pool toy?
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Florida better step up its game, Ohio is making a title challenge. Shellee?
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    *tosses a pool noodle into thread and runs*
    Flygirl likes this.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

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    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    What an asshole, cheating on his inflatable doll like that.
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    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    shouldn't they have blurred out the pic of the inflatable?
    sluce likes this.
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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Is the pool toy's name "Peggy"?
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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Blow it up. Blow it up real good.

    Totally work safe for your viewing pleasure.
    OrangeSlice likes this.

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