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Thread: Homosexuality Will Lead to Enslavement of Humanity by Ducks Warns Homeschooled Teen

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Default Homosexuality Will Lead to Enslavement of Humanity by Ducks Warns Homeschooled Teen

    A letter to the editor from a 14-year-old homeschooled teen named Jasmin was recently published in Canterbury, New Zealand's Northern Outlook, garnering stunned silence from most and lengthy rebuttals from others. The subject of the letter was homosexuality in general and the legalization of same-sex marriage in particular.


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    Jasmin applies her homespun knowledge of evolution which she later admits is something she doesn't "believe" in to the eventuality of marriage equality, asserting that such a development "could threaten the human position on the evolutionary ladder, and say, ducks could take over the world."

    That's right: Ducks.

    How's that? "Ducks always nest in pairs and if we allow same-sex marriage, then the ducks will have evolved further than we have." Ipso facto an Orwellian dystopia will emerge, "with ducks more equal than us."

    "I don't want my children to have to compete with ducks," Jasmin implores. "I want them to evolve further than I have."

    Being that she doesn't believe in evolution, the onus to make things right therefore falls upon those of us who do. "[Evolutionists] should be consistent," she insists. "If you believe in evolution, you can't be in favour of homosexuality, or the ducks will get you in the end."

    In fairness to Jasmin, ducks are terrifying.


    Homosexuality Will Lead to Enslavement of Humanity by Ducks Warns Homeschooled Teen
    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

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    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    well that gives new meaning to that old saying fuck a duck I guess?
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Aflac!
    darksithbunny and Seapharris7 like this.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    This is why home schooling should be outlawed, except in rare cases.
    Froogy, Kat Scorp, kasippu and 1 others like this.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Well, some ducks are more equal than others.
    MsChiff and Seapharris7 like this.
    Gross, put it away. You could dress beautifully but you gotta be Miss Granny Panty Whore.
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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McJag View Post
    This is why home schooling should be outlawed, except in rare cases.
    You traitor! You're on the side of the ducks and just trying to silence those who know the truth!

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Ducks rule!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    I'm fairly certain a duck could run things better than the current leadership.

    I'm writing in Ducks on my ballot.

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    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    Surely she meant dolphins.
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

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    Elite Member Nevan's Avatar
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    Oh. My. God.

    Seriously?
    stef likes this.

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member Quazar's Avatar
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    Maybe I'll write in a duck for President. That's change.

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    Elite Member DeadDwarf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McJag View Post
    This is why home schooling should be outlawed, except in rare cases.
    Most people I know that were homeschooled were very religious and they spout stuff like this girl, it's embarrassing that someone could be so uneducated and basically brainwashed as I am sure they weren't allowed to talk with people about topics their parents didn't agree with. As adults, they post on FB and can't write simple words correctly either, words most people learn in regular school by jr high. They lack basic grammar and critical thinking as well. Funny, none of them went to college, except a few that went to very religious colleges...
    Waterslide likes this.

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    Gold Member Slushie's Avatar
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    Eeep.

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    Elite Member Rusalka's Avatar
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    Seriously, there are ways to be homeschooled without being a total fucking retard. Your parents should not be allowed to teach you, period. If you want to go the homeschool route, there are plenty of genuine options, lots of respected universities offer online high school courses. Johns Hopkins, Stanford, Northwestern, etc. I imagine there are similar options in New Zealand. I know plenty of athletes who have done that, I've taken some online courses myself and they're the real deal. How anyone could have ma 'n' pa teach them about evil gays leading to duck overlords when there are legitimate options out there is beyond me. This should be illegal.
    DeadDwarf and Seapharris7 like this.

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