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Thread: Naked Man Covered in Crisco Told Police He was ‘Looking for a Place to Party’

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Default Naked Man Covered in Crisco Told Police He was ‘Looking for a Place to Party’




    Responding to a call about a naked man covered in Crisco wandering around Rock Island, police officers found Chad William Forber with the cooking spray can still under his arm.

    "He said he had been dropped off somewhere on 11th Street and that he had walked to the area where he was apprehended," Rock Island Deputy Chief of Police Jeff VenHuizen said of the 41-year-old from Blue Grass. "He had lathered himself up in Crisco. He was covered in grease, and was holding the can under his arm."

    Asked why he removed his pants, Forber, who covered himself with a towel, responded that they were too big and kept falling off.

    Searching through the shorts he was carrying, police uncovered methamphetamine in his pocket. "He said he was looking for a place to party," VenHuizen told the Quad-City Times.

    Forber was subsequently charged with felony possession of methamphetamine, and misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia. He was also charged with misdemeanor resisting a peace officer.

    He was booked into Rock Island County Jail where he remains on a $40,000 bond

    Naked Man Covered in Crisco Told Police He was 'Looking for a Place to Party'
    MsChiff likes this.
    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    But we were right here the whole time. Fess up bitches, who gave him bad directions?
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Real party animal!
    MsChiff likes this.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    It's a sad day when one can't troll for fatty crisco sex without Big Brother ruining all of the fun.

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    Elite Member Karistiona's Avatar
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    This is our board's perfect news story, who knew there were other folk interested in fatty crisco sex!
    MsChiff and Lalique like this.
    I smile because I have no idea what's going on

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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    All lubed up and nowhere to go.
    MsChiff and analyzer like this.

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    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    Maybe he was looking for crumpet?
    Lalique likes this.
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

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    Elite Member Sialia's Avatar
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    Hahahahaha, as soon as I saw the headline I wondered if anyone's done a head count to see which GR member has gone missing.
    "We know who we are, we like talking smack about strangers, and we're not gonna stop!" -- GR's Kalirga

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    Elite Member Air Quotes's Avatar
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    With the shade he's throwing in that pic you know he gives stellar blow jobs.
    "A true whore just loves her life." - Sluce

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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McJag View Post
    Real party animal!
    With no trans fats...
    Good luck getting a cat to do anything let alone join in on your sexcapades. - Air Quotes

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    Elite Member DeadDwarf's Avatar
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    I had no idea Crisco came in a can! Guess that makes fat Crisco sex even more convenient.
    sprynkles likes this.

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    ^^ Yup. A fast and easy way to lube up those hard to reach folds.
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    Elite Member JadeStar70's Avatar
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    My girlfriend use to have a boyfriend that beat off all the time, and all of her hand lotions, mosturizers, bath/body oils were always used up by him and gone when she went to use them. She started locking them up in a case, and then the idiot start using the cooking oil and Crisco. We called him the Crisco Kid.
    Osakan likes this.

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JadeStar70 View Post
    My girlfriend use to have a boyfriend that beat off all the time, and all of her hand lotions, mosturizers, bath/body oils were always used up by him and gone when she went to use them. She started locking them up in a case, and then the idiot start using the cooking oil and Crisco. We called him the Crisco Kid.
    How about "Earl of Olay"?

  15. #15
    Elite Member caramel's Avatar
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    oh he is hot and thinking of his fat belly and hairy smelly balls in grease is just too much for my nice hairless clean vagina to take
    we don't have to make love to have an orgasm

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