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Thread: Man with world's largest penis arouses suspicion at airport, frisked by TSA

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    Elite Member hustle4alivin's Avatar
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    Default Man with world's largest penis arouses suspicion at airport, frisked by TSA

    Jonah Falcon, Man With World's Largest Penis, Frisked By TSA At California Airport




    Turns out it's legal to have a weapon of mass conception at the airport.

    Jonah Falcon was stopped and frisked by the TSA at the San Francisco International Airport on July 9 because of a bulging package hidden in his pants. But the 41-year-old New Yorker wasn't packing a dirty bomb, drugs or a Costco-sized tube of toothpaste. The New Yorker has the world's largest recorded penis.

    In an exclusive interview with The Huffington Post, Falcon described his hard times with security guards after his extra carry-on became suspect.

    "I had my 'stuff' strapped to the left. I wasn't erect at the time," said Falcon, whose penis is 9 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. "One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, 'Yes.'"

    Falcon said he knew that his interview was about to get a lot more personal when he was led through one of the X-ray body scanners and passed a metal detector.



    "Another guard stopped me and asked me if I had some sort of growth," Falcon said, laughing.

    Indeed he did have a growth.

    By the age of 18, Falcon knew he had something special when his manhood reached a whopping 12 inches. His family jewel was hailed as the world's largest on record after an HBO documentary featured him in 1999. The Guinness Book of World Records does not record such feats, but Falcon did show his standout feature to Huffington Post Executive Crime/Weird News Editor Buck Wolf.


    Falcon has been contacted by porn companies (though he's never accepted) and has been featured on just about every talkshow in the country.

    As he passed through airport security, Falcon said a younger security guard felt threatened by his "very noticeable" package -- and interpreted it as a biological threat.

    "I said, 'It's my dick,'" Falcon said. "He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing."




    The screener gave up the extensive search without so much as a blush or a smile. Falcon made his flight back to New York on time.

    But he learned something that day. The hardened traveler has a new game plan for airport security.

    "I'm just gonna wear bike shorts from now on," Falcon said. "That way, they'll know. You'd think the San Francisco TSA would have had experience with hung guys before, but I guess not."

    TSA officials at the San Francisco International Airport did not return calls for comment.

  2. #2
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Poor bastard.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    hahahahaha oh wow! I'm surprised they just felt him up and threw powder on it.

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    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    He's a mighty good sport, isn't he?
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

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    Elite Member Ravenna's Avatar
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    Reminds me of the zucchini scene from This is Spinal Tap.

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    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    is it wrong that I'm curious to see the real thing (even though it's neatly outlined in those bike shorts)? has anyone seen it?

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    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    I feel sorta sorry for this guy for some reason. Having a massive schlong has apparently caused more than a few problems in his life.
    “What are you looking at, sugar-tits?” - Mel Gibson

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurent View Post
    I feel sorta sorry for this guy for some reason. Having a massive schlong has apparently caused more than a few problems in his life.
    The massive double chin hasn't helped either.

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    Elite Member *DIVA!'s Avatar
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    ^^Yea his chins are huge!
    Too bad his a major dick
    Baltimore O's ​Fan!

    I don''t know if she really fucked the board though. Maybe just put the tip in. -Mrs. Dark

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    Elite Member Ravenna's Avatar
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    He really seems deeply unsexy.

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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    I bet that penis is fugly.
    My Posts Have Won Awards. Can Any Of You Claim The Same? -ur_next_ex

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    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsDark View Post
    I bet that penis is fugly.
    so I'm not the only one who wants to see it...
    nancydrew likes this.

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    [YOUTUBE]IKprmeH0SAs[/YOUTUBE]
    MsChiff, hustle4alivin and Seth82 like this.

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    Elite Member Kathie_Moffett's Avatar
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    ^^ at the Hitler video...I'm sure Hitler's was tiny.

    But, so this guy's dick is SO BIG and takes so much fabric to cover it adequately that it makes the corresponding leg of his bike shorts shorter?!?

    I don't think any male has ever felt sorry for him. In fact, I'm sure that, chins notwithstanding, he's had more ass than the proverbial toilet seat.
    Did you know that every time a parent gives in to their kid's whines and buys them candy at the checkout lane, a kitten gets diabetes?-Dlisted
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    -George Carlin

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    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    build an erect statue in his honor lol

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