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Thread: Groundbreaking School to Make Kidsí Free Condom Dreams Come True

  1. #1
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Feb 2007

    Default Groundbreaking School to Make Kidsí Free Condom Dreams Come True

    Fed up with a high pregnancy rate and unstoppable rampaging teen hormones, one Massachusetts school is one step closer to kicking off a program that would give students age 12 and up free prophylactics.

    Possible slogan for the new program — Condoms: Because they're going to fuck, anyway.

    A surprisingly realistic Springfield, Massachusetts panel conceded that yes, it probably made sense to give students access to free condoms at school after a similar program was enacted in a nearby district in 2004. Springfield currently bears the dubious distinction of being 4th in the state for teen birth rates, and school and health officials hope the new condoms for kids program will give students access to protection against both pregnancy and STDs.

    The proposed program would alert district parents of the free condoms program before it took effect, giving them the opportunity to opt out of it if they wish. Teens seeking to get condoms would also be given counseling as well as information on abstinence (which is easily one of the most condescending lecture an adult can give a kid, as young teenagers tend to be pretty well versed in how to not have sex).

    The lone committee member who dissented said he was troubled by the fact that 12-year-olds can't legally consent to sex in the state of Massachusetts.

    But health officials lauded the Committee's decision as a positive step to help promote safety and health of teens.

    As a teacher's kid who has borne witness to unintended consequences leading to the downfall of a number of well-intentioned policies, I predict that this will last about until the first faculty member gets pee from a urine-filled condom balloon on her shoes.

    Groundbreaking School to Make Kids' Free Condom Dreams Come True
    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone

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  2. #2
    Gold Member VeraGemini's Avatar
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    Dec 2009
    What am I doing in this handbasket?


    If I were in charge - and maybe it's a good thing I'm not - there would be MANDATORY condoms handed out every morning in homeroom. That way the kids who are sexually active would have them handy, without any effort or embarrassment, and the ones who aren't? Free water balloons!


  3. #3
    Elite Member stef's Avatar
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    Sep 2006


    Possible slogan for the new program ó Condoms: Because they're going to fuck, anyway.
    i love it!
    "This is not meant to be at all offensive: You suffer from diarrhea of the mouth but constipation of the brain." - McJag

  4. #4
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Apr 2008
    Hanging with the raisin girls


    12 year olds? No.

  5. #5
    Elite Member caramel's Avatar
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    Mar 2008
    In Finland


    plus boys need to have condoms to practice on when they start getting it stiff, its just not fun when its the first time and no one knows where to put and how and then its on the ear and jizz gets everywhere
    we don't have to make love to have an orgasm

  6. #6
    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    Dec 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by CornFlakegrl View Post
    12 year olds? No.
    Yeah that's too young imo.

  7. #7
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Aug 2008


    They don't know they're too young. The majority of 12 year olds won't be having sex but the ones that are should have some sort of protection and not just have it withheld due to age.
    As Canadian as possible under the circumstances


    "What's traitors, precious?" -- President Gollum

  8. #8
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Jan 2008
    Evading P6 & P7


    Yes, but if you introduce condoms and responsible sex ed at age 12, they become less "mysterious" and you've desensitized the students to birth control before they really need it (I hope - cuz sex at 12 sounds like a really bad idea). Also, many girls have their periods at age 12 so you better have talked sex ed by then. Put me in the emphatically good idea category!
    shedevilang likes this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

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