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Thread: Cancer-stricken mom chooses baby’s life over hers; mom dies days after birth

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    fgg
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    Default Cancer-stricken mom chooses baby’s life over hers; mom dies days after birth

    Cancer-stricken mom chooses baby’s life over hers

    Stacie Crimm didn’t get to share much time with her infant daughter, Dottie Mae — she’d made the ultimate sacrifice to give the little girl life.

    Crimm survived long enough for the baby to be delivered. But shortly after holding her daughter for the first time, the Oklahoma woman slipped into a coma and died.

    Crimm’s brother remembers the bittersweet moment when his sister held her child.“I felt like it was probably the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life,” Ray Phillips told Matt Lauer on TODAY Thursday. “I don’t think I’ll ever see anything that beautiful again.”

    Jubilation, then heartbreak
    Crimm never thought she’d have a child. Doctors had told her she wouldn’t be able to conceive. So it was a glorious shock when she discovered she was pregnant.

    She immediately called her brother to share the happy news. “It took her by total surprise,” Phillips told NBC News’ Janet Shamlian in a report that aired before the live TODAY interview. “She was petrified and happy and just … beside herself.”

    But the jubilation was short-lived. Crimm began to experience terrifying symptoms: crippling headaches, tunnel vision and tremors that shook her entire body. She went to the doctor and got the devastating diagnosis: head and neck cancer.

    “She called me crying,” Phillips remembers. “She would say, ‘I’m not going to live long enough to have this baby.’ ”

    Crimm had a chance at survival — if she chose to undergo chemotherapy. But that might have put her growing fetus in danger.

    She called her brother to let him know that she’d decided that the risk to her daughter was too great.“She said, ‘If I have to make a decision, you know what that’s going to be,’ ” Phillips said. “ ‘Don’t even ask. I’ve lived my life.’ ”

    Ray Phillips, brother of Stacie Crimm, and his wife, Jennifer, will care for Dottie Mae, whose mother gave her life so that she could live. Phillips told Lauer he didn’t even try to dissuade his sister: “Her mind was made up. It was pretty cut and dried.”

    A mother’s embrace
    Crimm did her best to hang on so her little girl would have life. But the cancer was aggressive, and in August, Crimm collapsed in her home. She was rushed to the hospital, where doctors performed a C-section to deliver her little girl — 10 weeks premature and weighing just 2 pounds.

    The baby was sent to the hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit, in a different building from where Crimm. NICU nurses couldn’t imagine that a mother who had given so much would never have a chance to see and hold her baby.They put little Dottie Mae in an incubator and wheeled her over to the unit where her mother lay dying.

    “It was just one of those things you know you have to do,” one nurse later recalled.

    They placed the little girl on her mother’s chest. Crimm watched her daughter for a few seconds and then she “lifted up her hands and just held her and just looked at her and smiled,” Phillips said.

    Stacie Crimm was able to hold daughter Dottie Mae before succumbing to cancer three days after giving birth. Crimm died three days later.

    Dottie Mae is now living with Ray Phillips, his wife Jennifer, and their six children, just as Crimm requested. She didn’t have many special instructions on how she wanted her daughter to be raised, but she did have big plans for her little girl.

    “She said, ‘I hope this little girl grows up beautiful so we can put her in pageants,’ ” Phillips told Lauer.

    When Dottie Mae grows up, how will Phillips explain Crimm’s ultimate sacrifice?

    “I don’t think I’ll have to tell her anything,” he told Lauer. “I think she’ll kind of figure it out on her own.”

    Cancer-stricken mom chooses baby
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fgg View Post

    “She said, ‘I hope this little girl grows up beautiful so we can put her in pageants,’ ” Phillips told Lauer.
    ... and that killed what little sympathy i had.
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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    The mother sacrificed her life to give the world another child beauty pagent contestant? What a waste.

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    this is why i love this place.
    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


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    Elite Member Sleuth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    ... and that killed what little sympathy i had.
    I was almost in tears and then I got to that part of the article and burst out laughing. Definately a sympathy killer!
    Alicia Silverstone: "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

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    Elite Member Air Quotes's Avatar
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    I lost sympathy when I read the name Dottie Mae.
    "A true whore just loves her life." - Sluce

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    Elite Member ManxMouse's Avatar
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    ...and the baby daddy? The names and pageant angle are so Mobilehoma.
    Santa is an elitist mother fucker -- giving expensive shit to rich kids and nothing to poor kids.

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    Elite Member Seth82's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    ... and that killed what little sympathy i had.
    yep...
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    Elite Member JazzyGirl's Avatar
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    Snarky pageant comments aside...

    I've heard of it before - but am always stunned that anyone wants to continue a pregnancy while dealing with cancer. I think I would be very concerned that I would be leaving a baby with medical issues behind for someone else to take care of.

    I sincerely hope this child does not have any major medical issues, and is lovingly raised.

    I am pretty sure I would not have made the same choice - and not because I would want to have treatment - it would be about the the child and god knows what havoc is being wreaked on the fetus during gestation. I've never read up on it, but how can something NOT be passed to the child? And if I elect to not have treatment for an aggressive cancer - how does my weakened body sustain a baby??

    I did read this with tears in my eyes - and am thankful I did not have to make that decision.

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    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JazzyGirl View Post
    I've heard of it before - but am always stunned that anyone wants to continue a pregnancy while dealing with cancer.
    Uh, not to mention, foisting a 7th child off on her brother and his wife without even asking them. Her mind was made up, they would raise her kid in the pageant way.
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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl View Post
    this is why i love this place.
    Exactly, everyone else says the things I just can't bring myself to say, but I can safely sit here laugh my fucking ass off reading the comments of others.

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    Elite Member JadeStar70's Avatar
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    I watched the story on the Today Show. Sad. I wonder who the Dad was of the baby, and why he wasn't in the picture at all.

    And the brother was one of few words, to say the least. Not sure if he was kind of slow, or just a real hick like person. I about shit when he said I hope this little girl grows up beautiful...I was like, wtf? The Mom wasn't that hot looking herself, but damn. I bet that little girl will love hearing this when she is older. He also said he wouldn't have to tell he anything about what type of Mom she had,....and then just sat there. You could tell Matt was dumb founded and frustrated trying to drag any sentences out of this guy for the interview.

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Lets see. Raised as 7th child. Name questionable. Ambition for child odd.
    Still, extremely sad. Tragic in a lot of ways.
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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    It could be tragic or it could turn out to be one crazy ass awesome Tom Robbins novel.
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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    ... and that killed what little sympathy i had.
    Ditto.
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