Hip parents really hip?

buttmunch · April 5th, 2006, 06:03 AM

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GARFIELD HEIGHTS, Ohio (AP) — Mike and Kameron Bednarz often head to the neighborhood skateboard park after school, doing ollies and other tricks well past dusk.
The father and son are best buddies. They share other hobbies — snowboarding, guitar playing and competing for hours at video games such as "The Legend of Zelda" for Nintendo GameCube — a game that father Mike Bednarz played on the original Nintendo when he was a kid. The new version is "much more detailed and interactive," Bednarz says.

Corporate consultants, marketers and generational experts say relationships like the Bednarz' is something they often observe: Youngish parents (Mike Bednarz is 32) share more interests with their children than they once did with their folks.

These are 30- and early 40-something moms and dads who are just as likely to be punk rock or hip-hop fans as their children. These are parents who can't wait for the next Harry Potter.

Yvette Obias of suburban Cleveland is teaching her 9-year-old daughter, Acelyn, how to surf, a sport she's been passionate about for years. Their common interests don't end there, said the 35-year-old single mom, who grew up as a punk-rock skater.

"We have the same type of music taste. Our clothes are the same. I'll find something cute and trendy and she'll want to buy it," Obias says. "Growing up with my parents, I never had that, music-wise or clothes-wise."

Kameron Bednarz's dad blends in fairly well with the young skate park denizens in this Cleveland suburb, with shoes the color of St. Patrick's Day and an Enjoi skateboard, an image of Kiss' Gene Simmons on the bottom worn out from countless rail slides. Only his receding hairline gives him away.

Eight-year-old Kameron says it's pretty cool to have a dad who can tear up a skate park.

"Pretty much, he's better than me," Kameron admits. "He started when he was 10, so I will be better than him soon."

Technology is another big bond between today's kids and their Generation X parents.

"The shared experiences between parent and child are shifting. Instead of fathers teaching their sons how to play sports or use tools, now they've got video games," said Chuck Underwood, founder of The Generational Imperative Inc., a Cincinnati-based consulting firm whose clients include Procter & Gamble Co. and Time Warner.

Alisa Clamen, 41, of Montreal, says she could never relate to her mother's music, artists like jazzman Benny Goodman. But the MTV culture that shaped her teen years isn't all that different from what her kids — ages 18, 11 and 9 — are into. And like them, she enjoys her iPod.

Clamen didn't watch television with her parents as a kid, and although her tastes may differ somewhat from her children, they have found common ground with American Idol. "I pulled them into it," she says. "It was a fun family thing to do."

People who study generational differences say many Gen Xers want a closer relationship with their kids than what they experienced — they're less interested in climbing to the top of the corporate ladder if it means giving up family time. Gen Xers matured at a time when the divorce rate was soaring and working parents were away from their children for more hours than any prior generation.

"On the whole, they're correcting for this. They're not going to allow their own children to be left alone," says Bill Strauss, a generational expert and co-author of Millennials and the Pop Culture.

Says Obias: "I don't want my relationship with my daughter to be the kind of relationship I had with my parents."

But even the Gen X parents who think they're hip could soon find themselves as out of touch as their parents were. Some Gen Xers don't get into text messaging, for instance, while it's second nature for a lot of young people. "It's a completely different language," says Kathleen Gasperini, senior vice president at Label Networks, a Los Angeles youth culture marketing research company, whose clients include Apple Computer, Vans shoes and Pepsi.

Musically, some parents might have grown up on punk, but won't be able to relate to the many derivatives it's spawning.

"There'll come a time when they look at their 14-year-old and say, 'I have no idea who you are,'" Gasperini said.

Bednarz is hoping that day doesn't come.

"I'll still probably be the hippest dad around because I skate and bike," Bednarz says. "I'm hoping when he gets older we'll still skate together."

usatoday.com

I have to say I sort of see this since I'm much more in tune with 'youth' culture than my parents were and participate in so-called youth activities like skating, boarding, etc. But I always have the nagging worry that I'm really just making a fool out of myself--and my kids will end up embarrassed..

A*O · April 5th, 2006, 06:06 AM

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Originally Posted by buttmunch

But I always have the nagging worry that I'm really just making a fool out of myself--and my kids will end up embarrassed..

They WILL end up embarrassed?

Get thee back to thine Tupperware parties woman!!!

buttmunch · April 5th, 2006, 06:54 AM

But I can not do that! I hate the whole traditional 'mom' role, excepting helping out with school parties and things like that. I'm an old rock chick who likes to do cool things. Why oh why should I have to give that up????

deckchick · April 5th, 2006, 09:07 AM

I totally agree! My sons and I did/do all sorts of fun stuff together, ski, golf, camp, bike etc... I took both my boys to their first concerts, we still go, and there is something just cool about your kids wanting to take you out for drinks and dancing at the local club.

My guys are now 25 & 28, and they will tell anyone that I am one of their best friends...

buttmunch · April 5th, 2006, 09:19 AM

Cool about the first concert. My older one is really getting into music and I'm hoping to take him to his first concert....although Mr. butt insists this is an honor reserved for men. I call bullshit, but I think he might beat me to it.

deckchick · April 5th, 2006, 09:24 AM

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Originally Posted by buttmunch

Cool about the first concert. My older one is really getting into music and I'm hoping to take him to his first concert....although Mr. butt insists this is an honor reserved for men. I call bullshit, but I think he might beat me to it.

Then both of you go! It's a win win situation, for sure take him, it really is something that he will remember for the rest of his life.

buttmunch · April 5th, 2006, 09:49 AM

Well, of his favorite bands, one has only two surviving members, so I guess it's Green Day. Not my favorite but I'll survive.

deckchick · April 5th, 2006, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buttmunch

Well, of his favorite bands, one has only two surviving members, so I guess it's Green Day. Not my favorite but I'll survive.

lol luckily my sons were taught right!

They learned from the music master me! My youngest came running home one day and told me that I had to listen to the AWESOME band... it was the Doors!

We all love rock and the blues, one of the best concerts we went to was BB King & Buddy Guy....

buttmunch · April 5th, 2006, 09:59 AM

Oy! OOOYYYY! Careful there, missy. I have banned crap kid music like the Chipmunks since birth, played only blues, rock, jazz and similar and still, the kid loves Green Day. What can I say? He has his own taste. He also, by the way, LOVES The Who, so all is not lost.

deckchick · April 5th, 2006, 10:16 AM

I will admit a tiny failure with my oldest... sort of... he like rap...but now I too like a bunch of it

Is that wrong?

buttmunch · April 5th, 2006, 10:19 AM

Not wrong at all. I like most forms of music to some extent, although I've never really gotten Callas and other opera singers. Country-pop is another I haven't a taste for but beyond that, whatever floats your boat. I'll take Public Enemy any day of the week, thanks very much.

deckchick · April 5th, 2006, 10:21 AM

Me too butty, I like classical, not into opera at all..

Don't tell anyone, but I have a fondness for Eminem and Kid Rock.

Algernon · April 5th, 2006, 10:25 AM

There is nothing wrong with parents enjoying the same things as their kids. As long as they maintain the parent/child relationship. If your children are in their 20's, by all means, develop a friendship with them...but not a tween or young teenager. I get so irritated by (especially moms) who are so wrapped up in being their kid's FRIEND that they lose their effectiveness as a parent.

I realize the article was focusing on similar interests, cultural understanding, etc.....but some parents try too hard to be interested in doing/enjoying everything their child does/enjoys.

deckchick · April 5th, 2006, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Algernon

There is nothing wrong with parents enjoying the same things as their kids. As long as they maintain the parent/child relationship. If your children are in their 20's, by all means, develop a friendship with them...but not a tween or young teenager. I get so irritated by (especially moms) who are so wrapped up in being their kid's FRIEND that they lose their effectiveness as a parent.

I realize the article was focusing on similar interests, cultural understanding, etc.....but some parents try too hard to be interested in doing/enjoying everything their child does/enjoys.

Oh no worries Al, the boys knew! I had to rule with the ole iron fist... they are 6'1' and 6'3"... and they still know the line that shall not be crossed...

I HATE stupid parents and obnoxious kids...

Algernon · April 5th, 2006, 11:05 AM

^^Yeah, I don't get the feeling any of our awesome moms on here are like that, but you KNOW the type. It is especially gross when the mom wants to shop, hang out, dress alike, blah blah with her daughter. Gimme a break!!! SO pageant mom. Uh oh.....I said the dreaded words....