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Thread: School cancels prom...

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Default School cancels prom...

    UNIONDALE, N.Y. — Brother Kenneth M. Hoagland (search) had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: Students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons. Pre-prom cocktail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo. Fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night "booze cruise." Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom (search) in a 2,000-word letter to parents this fall.
    "It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is rather the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake — in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects."
    "Each year it gets worse — becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he added. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (Kellenberg) is willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy."
    The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.
    "I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom," said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. "There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything."


    Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back and the prom went on as planned.
    But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said.
    Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of "Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture," said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons.
    "A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom," she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding folderol: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties.
    Best pinned some of the blame for the burgeoning costs on parents, who are often willing to open their wallets for whatever their child demands. "It is a huge misperception that the kids themselves are totally driving this."
    Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500-student school.
    "This is my fourth child to go through Kellenberg and I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts. I don't believe that's the right thing to do."
    Some parents waiting to pick up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland.
    "The school has excellent values," said Margaret Cameron of Plainview. "We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school and I totally back everything they do."
    Hoagland said in an interview that parents, who pay $6,025 in annual tuition, have expressed appreciation for his stern stand. "For some, it (the letter) was an eye-opener," he said. "Others feel relieved that the pressure is off of them."
    Chris Laine, a senior from Rockville Centre, said the cancellation was "unfortunate, but you can't really argue with the facts they present. ... It's just what it's evolved into. It's not what it was 20, 30 or 40 years ago. It's turned into something it wasn't originally intended to be."
    Besides, Laine noted, the senior class still has a four-day trip to Disney World scheduled for April.
    "We go to all the parks with our friends," he said just before hopping into his jet-black Infiniti and driving off to meet friends for an after-school snack. "We fly down together and stay in the same hotel and so it's not like we're totally losing everything."
    I kind of get what the principal is saying, but still not sure if this is the right thing to do. Thoughts?
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
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    Hit By Ban Bus! DisruptiveHair's Avatar
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    I think he's justified. If something happened to those kids post-prom, you bet your ass the same whining parents would be suing the school.

    I think the school is setting a good example by refusing to tolerate this blingy shit any longer.

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    SVZ
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    our prom was pretty ridicilious.

    the first year i didn't go and went to a concert with the ex...we saved a good thousand bucks.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! DisruptiveHair's Avatar
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    How the hell can anyone spend $1000 on a fucking high school prom? Christ man, they used to hold those things in school gymnasiums and the parents were there serving fruit punch and cookies.

    My high school prom was tiny...my graduating class was pretty small, about 135 people...and only half of those actually turned up to prom anyway. Our prom was in a small ballroom in downtown Dallas at the hotel attached to the Reunion Tower...can't for the life of me remember the name of that place. The tickets were $50 per couple and I distinctly recall my dress costing $75. Mom didn't want to spend more than that on a dress I'd "only wear once anyway." She was right too; I only wore my prom dress once and it has been rotting in a closet since 1993.

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    I just cannot believe what these people spend on thier kids proms. Or even what they spend on graduation in general. My sister, a few years ago, had professional (I mean REALLY professional) pics done of her daughter in 48 zillion different poses and the kid ended up with what looked like a modeling portfolio (although she wasn't model material by any stretch). It cost a fortune and when I asked what happened to the old days of two or three poses, airbrushed and available in several different sizes she jsut said that 'this is what they do now' and her daughter 'had' to have it or risk being made fun of. I still think it was a load of bullocks. This is why kids feel such a huge sense of entitlement: no one is telling them that spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on some pictures will make not one iota of difference in thier lives. And if they really want it, go get a job and pay for it themselves.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

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    --Sinclair Lewis

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    SVZ
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    i think it was a 90 dollar ticket...then a 200 dollar party bus rental, suit rental, 100 dollar booze thing, 50 dollar after party thing, 50 dollar before party and then they rented out a night club

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    Hit By Ban Bus! DisruptiveHair's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SVZ View Post
    i think it was a 90 dollar ticket...then a 200 dollar party bus rental, suit rental, 100 dollar booze thing, 50 dollar after party thing, 50 dollar before party and then they rented out a night club

    See, I think that's kind of dumb. I didn't have a date for the prom because I'd dumped my boyfriend my junior year of high school and was focused 100% on school my senior year, so I didn't have time for boys. I bought my ticket with another swot friend and we went together. We capped off prom evening with a visit to Cafe Brazil in east Dallas, then had a slumber party with some of our other swot friends who didn't go to the prom. We watched horror movies. That was back when you could rent tapes at our local video store for fifty cents a pop.

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    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
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    Oh my God I would just die my prom was of the best times of my life!!!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

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    Hit By Ban Bus! DisruptiveHair's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiara View Post
    Oh my God I would just die my prom was of the best times of my life!!!

    Yeah, it'd be pretty pathetic if it were! I feel sorry for people who peaked in high school. Actually...no I don't.

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    You gotta love the stars of high school who end up the losers of life.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
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    I don't have anything to do with any of my friends from school now, they're all wasters either on drugs or got babies. One lad died a few weeks ago from drug over dose, once cmmitted suicide by hanging himself for some strange satanic ritual and one has just been done for rape (Im 18 btw) Nearly every girl has atleast 1 kid!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    I went to a semi formall with a mohawk and combat boots dressed up with a tux jacket and cufflinks

    Fuck the prom, it's ridiculous anyway. You can have more fun at a concert, rave, or just out on the town than in an upscale version of a kegger.
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    SVZ
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    i went to prom it was toooooooonnes of fun. and lots of photos for the yearbook too

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    Bronze Member Bliss's Avatar
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    My grad is in a few days....!!
    Last edited by Bliss; October 17th, 2005 at 10:12 AM.

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    Super Moderator NoDayButToday's Avatar
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    I went to 3 proms, but only one with a boyfriend (and that was the only oen I truly enjoyed). My school was enormous so we always had to rent out a huge venue. Tickets were over 100 bucks for couples, and so were the school-sponsored post party tickets. The dress for the prom with my boyfriend was almost 300 bucks, and thats not including alterations (since I'm so short), shoes, hair, nails, makeup, etc. We rented a limo one year at another 100 bucks a couple. Anything the night of the dance was the guy's responsibility, anything the day after was the girl's. To be fair, there always ended up being a really lavish, fun day for the day after.

    The year with the boyfriend we went downtown, went to Disney Quest for the day (its been shut down for years now, that was my soph. year), went to the Cheesecake Factory, and saw Blue Man Group.

    Junior year I went with the one night stand from hell (the guy got my number from someone and wouldn't leave me alone, somehow it progressed to me going to prom with him). We did nothing the next day, I didn't even see him, we split the cost of the dance too so that I didn't feel obligated to go out with him the next day.

    Senior year I went with a friend, and he wanted to do prom "right", so he paid for stuff the night of. The next day we did another day downtown. We live close enough to the Chicago that going downtown isn't a big deal, so we all usually do the stuff that people who live there do, and not the "tourist" stuff. So, we were tourists for a day and hit a big chunk of the museums. Then we had a city dweller night and went for sushi at a "hidden treasure" place we always go to and went to see Second City.

    I never went to any other dances, I thought the expense was stupid since it's all about the afterparty usually. My friends and I would skip the dances since they were all formal and didn't want to pay for the clothes, would get a little dressed up, go out for dinner, and then go to an afterparty. Saved us a lot of money in the long run, so Proms were always that much bigger for us.

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