Outrage over drunken Swedish pastor's funeral service

**Honey** · October 3rd, 2009, 07:39 PM

A family from Skåne in southern Sweden has demanded compensation from the Church of Sweden claiming that the pastor employed to conduct a funeral had consumed a glass too many in the vestry.The family are demanding 300,000 kronor ($42,600) in compensation for the pastor's unruly behaviour.
The service was held a few weeks ago in north-western Skåne.
A report sent by the family to the Church of Sweden states that the priest was noticeably drunk, wobbly on his feet and was forced to prop himself by clutching on to the altar.
He went on to read a poem that no one in the congregation could understand, according to an article in newspaper Helsingborgs Dagbladet.
The sozzled pastor was also reported to have been behaving inappropriately with a younger woman in attendance, kissing her hand and hugging her in a manner unsuitable for a man of the cloth.
The family is currently pursuing their 300,000 kronor claim with the church.
"It's considerably less than what we have paid in church taxes," they said

Outrage over drunken Swedish pastor's funeral service - The Local

**Penny Lane** · October 3rd, 2009, 07:45 PM

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."

12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God". and finally...

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.