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Thread: The ten most annoying singers

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    Elite Member celeb_2006's Avatar
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    Default The ten most annoying singers

    The Ten Most Annoying Singers - List Of The Day


    The Ten Most Annoying Singers


    Posted Mon Apr 21 4:31pm PDT by Rob O'Connor in List Of The Day
    It's stunning to learn that others don't share our tastes. Then again, how did an entire generation embrace faux wood paneling, shag carpets and putting thick plastic on their furniture? Well, someone thought it was a great idea!
    Hey, I like Bob Dylan's voice and kept him off this list because I could! Instead, I found the ten singers most likely to make you drive off the road.
    Now that's a terrible fate. Not only are you stranded in some ditch, but you're stuck listening to one of these ten singers, who it would seem are singing that way just to mock you. Oh, the injustice.
    10) Celine Dion: I know there are millions of people who would beg to disagree, but let's get real, people. She sings 15 notes where one would suffice and turns every song into an anthem for self-empowerment. It's like getting an hour of Oprah condensed into four minutes. She sings. It's time to start the lawnmower.
    9) John Mayer: Young people are impressionable. I'm not sure where John Mayer learned his vocal craft. I hesitate to call it singing. It's more like whimpering. And for some reason, this has become a trend not stopping anytime soon. As you'll sadly learn as we go further down this list.
    8) Conor Oberst: As the wunderkind who leads Bright Eyes, Conor Oberst was given a certain amount of leeway since he was a young teen when he started out and his precious singing--so sensitive and intimate you could hear the post-nasal drip--was mistaken as precocious. Well, he's in his 20s now and he still sounds like he's swimming back to the womb for protection from this hard, harsh world. Come on buddy, stand up straight and stop trying to imitate the Cure's Robert Smith. He got there first. And even he must know he sounds a little silly.
    7) Lily Allen: Contrary to this column, I want to like fresh, young talent. I want to hear singers bring true commitment to their material. The first time I heard Lily Allen I thought it was quaint. Then it seemed every young female singer was determined to sing just like her, as if they're running out of air in their lungs and have to get back to the respirator before the next verse begins. Sure, she's bouncy and spunky. But if I might quote what Lou Grant once told Mary Tyler Moore: I HATE SPUNK.
    6) Devendra Banhart / Tiny Tim: I'm not convinced they're not the same person. Tiny Tim was a novelty item singing with that stupid ukulele something about tiptoeing through the tulips. Anyone with any half sense would know it was novelty item that shouldn't be used as the basis for an entire recording career. And for thirty years, it wasn't, until freaky-folk dude Devendra Banhart showed up and started warbling in that unlistenable, untrained vibrato the kind of nonsensical lyrics that didn't sound all that great back when people were taking the kinds of drugs you're supposed to be on in order to enjoy it.
    5) James Blunt: All this talk in the media about whether or not waterboarding is torture is moot. Forcing anyone to listen to "Beautiful" on repeat constitutes torture. You want my darkest, deepest secrets? This guy's quivering voice gets you my social security number, my mother's maiden name, my personal PIN and any random government secrets I'm currently harboring.
    4) Frankie Valli: Frankie Valli was a hero to some back in his day. I grant you this. He was consistent! He consistently sang in a voice designed to send dogs running for cover and perfect for breaking glass. "Rag Doll, " "Sherry," "Dawn," "Big Girls Don't Cry," the list is enormous. He very well could be tried as a war criminal. Who would object? Seriously? Who?
    3) Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins): Yes, despite all his rage he's still just a rat in a cage. Unfortunately, that cage came with a microphone for him to transmit his Smashing Pumpkins hits to a helpless, hapless world at large. While Billy could orchestrate grand walls of guitar and write albums of endless tuneage, he insisted on singing it himself. Except this is not singing in any conventional sense, but rather the sound of a petulant, whiny child. This is what happens when parents don't tell their kids to shut up often enough. Children need to know you don't like them.
    2) Scott Stapp (Creed): We could probably start laying the blame on Bono, Eddie Vedder, Jim Morrison and that guy from Blood, Sweat and Tears, but in the end it's Scott Stapp who epitomizes that macho bellow that sounds like a man who's gone overboard at the All-You-Can-Eat Buffet and has just received spiritual orders to let everyone know they're going to hell if they don't save themselves somehow. His spiritual torment becomes your problem. Thanks, pal.
    1) Michael Bolton: OK, this was easy. C'mon, you knew Mr. Bolton would top the list. Who else can take a love song and turn it into a hernia? When a man loves a woman he doesn't do so by screaming in her ear--so why should it be acceptable for a man to sing a sensitive love song as if he's directing traffic for the hearing impaired? R&B classics deserve their place in musical history and should be protected from this man's desecration of all that is holy. It's only right. Let's make it a law.

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    Elite Member chartreuse's Avatar
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    i totally agree about john mayer, celine dion, billy corgan & scott stapp.

    i think they're so dead wrong about conor oberst, though.
    white, black, puerto rican/everybody just a freakin'/good times were rollin'.


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    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by celeb_2006 View Post
    The Ten Most Annoying Singers - List Of The Day


    The Ten Most Annoying Singers
    1) Michael Bolton: OK, this was easy. C'mon, you knew Mr. Bolton would top the list. Who else can take a love song and turn it into a hernia? When a man loves a woman he doesn't do so by screaming in her ear--so why should it be acceptable for a man to sing a sensitive love song as if he's directing traffic for the hearing impaired? R&B classics deserve their place in musical history and should be protected from this man's desecration of all that is holy. It's only right. Let's make it a law.
    I don't know most of the others, haven't heard all of them sing,
    but #1 is DEAD ON! How that guy ever got to set foot in a
    recording studio, let alone GET RECORDED is still beyond me
    And didn't he also get so carried away with himself, that he went
    on to abuse classical music, too?
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

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    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    Scott Stapp,
    RELIGION: Treat it like it's your genitalia. Don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

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    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    i cant watch Celine but i can listen to her. beautiful voice, but WAY too cheesy to watch.
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

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    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    pfft, their credibility was shot the moment I realized Mariah wasn't on this list.
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

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    or Ringo Starr

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    Elite Member sweetness's Avatar
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    I like John Mayer.

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    Elite Member MrsMarsters's Avatar
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    I actually like Bolton..I'm ashamed!!!

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    Where the hell is Britney Spears and Mariah Carey?
    Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

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    Elite Member DontMindMe's Avatar
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    ^^And Ashlee Simpson? Not that she actually sings, mind you...
    President Barack Obama
    Sounds amazing, doesn't it?

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    Elite Member Shalev's Avatar
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    Ugh! Lily Allen is not annoying!

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    i agree they're all annoying and sucky, except devendra banhart. yeah, it's not for everyone but i also like joanna newsom and tom waits and other singers with 'weird' voices.

    and lily allen is ok. not great, but not at all annoying to the same degree as all the others on the list.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member Moongirl's Avatar
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    They were discussing this list on a morning radio show I listen to and someone called in with the following story:
    The caller's BIL went to a LA Lakers game, and while walking thru the parking, he heard someone blasting the Creed song "Take Me Higher" on their stereo. He looked around to see who was actually listening to this song, and realized it was Scott Stapp himself in his convertible, blasting the song and singing along to it....

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    ROFL @ 3. Totally true. I can only listen to SP for about 20 mins to which i usualy end up throwing something big and hard at my CD player to make it shut the fuck up.

    I agree about lilly and james too. They make my skin itch.
    Darling... Stop confusing me with your wishful thinking....
    Bang goes another kanga on the bonnet of the van...
    Too soon to be out of me bed

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