Bad reviews for Justin Timberlake's stupid "SexyBack" single.

[Grimmlok]

Press releases and fashion mags will undoubtedly trumpet "SexyBack" as a triumph of chisel over pudge, the soundtrack to your daily routine of knocking out sets and knocking down Ultras with the opposite bods, but don't believe it. Fat dudes make jams, and twerps sing like angels. "SexyBack" is pretty much TimbaLake post-whatever-they're-doing, snorting Metabolite and soul-surfing with dingbats. It's a fully greased and lubed pose on the nose of a neon green longboard in the Wave Cove at Raging Waters, bereft of all the previously delirious discomfort of a pencil-necked white boy cloning another pencil-necked sorta-white boy over nü-funk symphonies courtesy of one fat Virginian.


But here we are in the Age of Dr. Fuckeyes Pharrell, the barechested lothario of mealskippers worldwide, force-fed chalky powerbars of low-rep club music, the likes of which isn't even compelling enough to remove our flappy asses from our Aerons. Even from these two superstars, we get a corny rehash not just of artists that Timberlake has already either dated or Mouseketeered with (or both), but of those artists' songs from three years ago. Take your pick: Britney's "I'm a Slave 4 U", JC Chasez and Basement Jaxx's "Plug It In", or anything with Skateboard P singing. It's all in here: the desperately moaning vocals, the bubbling rhythm, the faux-sex-crazed content. The problem? The only thing about this song that doesn't make me want to lay in bed and eat truffles is a muscular synth line that seems to be suffering from lactic burn after only a few listens. But I'm sure the video will be totally boner country.

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/page/t...rlake_SexyBack

Is Justin Timberlake bringing sexy back, or is he just gay? All signs point to the latter.

If there's a trend in pop music in 2006, it's questionably talented singers attempting to make a comeback and falling flat on their faces, which is great fun to watch. For example, it was once thought by some that Beyonce from Destiny's Child was a great songwriter. If that's the case, then how do you explain the blue stillborn corpse that is "Deja Vu?"

Christina Aguilera and Nelly Furtado have fared better by teaming with once-prominent hip-hop producers and obviously sticking to pretty dang strenuous workout regimens. For example, peep this Nelly Furtado MySpace page. That bitch is smokin! I'm tempted to pick up the album, and I don't even listen to any music with singing in it unless it's country.

Justin Timberlake worked with a gang of hip-hop producers on his 2002 solo debut Justified to mostly middling effect. Pharrell Williams succeeded to a certain degree in making him sound like a bootleg Jacko, and "Cry Me a River" even got a few spins on black stations though. You'd think it wouldn't be too difficult to repeat this level of "success."

Timberlake can't sing anyway, so if there's an issue, it's this shit sandwich of a track Timbaland put together, not to mention his constant ad-libbing. Why has Timbaland decided to become so visual in his artists' music at this point in his career? Is it because Missy Elliott got him on the Zone diet? Next thing you know, he'll be dancing around shirtless in people's videos.

If you notice, this doesn't sound very much like "Promiscuous" or any number of other Timbaland tracks, which would lead me to believe that Timbaland is putting together an Aftermath-style team of ghost producers. That shit might work if you're Dr. Dre and you were never actually making any beats in the first place (it's true), but Timbaland already has a well-recognized sound.

http://www.byroncrawford.com/2006/07..._timberla.html

Justin Timberlake claims he wants to push pop boundaries with upcoming second solo album "FutureSex/LoveSounds," but launch single "SexyBack" is more likely to jolt nerve endings. Yeah, we get it: Release an event single you know radio will embrace before getting to the meat of the matter, but really. This meandering melody-free jam is atrocious. Timberlake is unidentifiable with his grossly distorted vocal as Timbaland whoops and hollers alongside, in what is essentially a four-minute loop. Timberlake has a lot to offer—as a potential savior of solo male pop—but here he appears to tease, if not to ridicule, radio's lust/need for him. Impact: 10. Respect: less than zero. Tacky return, dude. —Chuck Taylor

http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/revie..._id=1002839466

[Lobelia]

Timberlake is unidentifiable with his grossly distorted vocal as Timbaland whoops and hollers alongside, in what is essentially a four-minute loop.

Yep, that's it in a nutshell. Sounds like some guy touched the hot stove, over & over & over.......

[moomies]

Sexyback is the worst song I've ever ever heard in my entire life... And Justin is gross

[NoDayButToday]

I hate that song, I have no idea why everyone was trumping it up like it's the best song they've ever heard.

[AKAMissy]

ITA, and I'm a Justin fan. (runs for cover)
That song is garbage. And I love how they comment on Beyonce's Deja-Vu single. I thought I was the only one who hated that song as well.

[Grimmlok]

The first (and only) time i heard Sexuyback i thought it was cringe inducing.. like nails on a chalkboard bad. I was watching the video, which is a perfectly terrible accompaniment to such a mess.

[SammysMom]

It is a goofy-ass song. I heard it the other day and for some crazy reason I kept humming the "sexyback" part. UUUUGGGG it drove me crazy. I did the same thing with that mess Paris sang too. Why does that happen? Suck-ass song get stuck in your head even when you cant stand it.

[SVZ]

It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad. The video is pretty bad as well.

[SammysMom]

^^ Yeah Im not sure what the hell its suppose to be about. Spies and sex is that it?

[MrsMarsters]

GAY GAY GAY..Wtf..I did not expect it to be this BAD!

[HWBL]

Justin Timberlake claims he wants to push pop boundaries with upcoming second solo album "FutureSex/LoveSounds," but launch single "SexyBack" is more likely to jolt nerve endings. Yeah, we get it: Release an event single you know radio will embrace before getting to the meat of the matter, but really. This meandering melody-free jam is atrocious. Timberlake is unidentifiable with his grossly distorted vocal as Timbaland whoops and hollers alongside, in what is essentially a four-minute loop. Timberlake has a lot to offer—as a potential savior of solo male pop—but here he appears to tease, if not to ridicule, radio's lust/need for him. Impact: 10. Respect: less than zero. Tacky return, dude. —Chuck Taylor

Oh, the waste of money, time and material, yes, even of talent.

[nadioz]

i didn't like it at first but now i love it !

[DeChayz]

I like it

[LynnieD]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Fucking awesome!! FINALLY!

[Grimmlok]

K, you people who like it are sick and need help.