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Thread: Stupid celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

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    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    Talking Stupid celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    The Quotidiot
    The world according to celebrities



    [The kabalah] helps you confront your fears. Like, if a girl borrowed my clothes and never gave them back and I saw her wearing them months later, I would confront her.

    -- Paris Hilton

    I'm starting to read to my son, but I couldn't believe how vapid and vacant and empty all the stories were. There's, like, no lessons.... There's, like, no books about anything.

    -- Madonna

    That's what the T stands for. To the bad guys it's thug or tough, but for the women and children it stands for tender.

    -- Mr. T

    It sounds vain, but I could probably make a difference for almost everyone I ever met if I chose to involve myself with them either professionally or personally.

    -- Kevin Costner

    People all over the world recognize me as a spiritual leader.

    -- Steven Seagal

    Howard Stern: What is the capital of New York?

    Actress Tori Spelling: New Jersey?

    I feel my best when I'm happy.

    -- Winona Ryder

    I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian.

    -- Mike Tyson

    It's not as easy as it looks. I mean, what happens if I'm in a bad mood?

    -- Vanna White

    Reporter: Now tell me, Britney, how do you feel about the meeting between George Bush and Tony Blair this week?

    Britney Spears: Who's Tony Blair?

    Reporter: He's the prime minister of Britain.

    Britney Spears: Well, he must be a very important person.

    What would happen if you melted? You know, you never really hear this talked about that much, but spontaneous combustion? It exists! (People) burn from within.... Sometimes they'll be in a wooden chair and the chair won't burn, but there'll be nothing left of the person. Except sometimes the teeth. Or the heart. No one speaks about this -- but it's for real.

    -- Keanu Reeves

    Do you know what our suicide rate would be if we didn't have television? Do you know how much happiness I've brought to people who couldn't get out of the house but could watch "The Love Boat"?

    -- Producer Aaron Spelling

    12/16

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  2. #2
    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    Thanks Alice!! I don't feel so bad about some of the very stupid posts I have made around here now! At least I know who Tony Blair is and Bolivian isn't a place.....

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    Elite Member darksithbunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    Geez. The Paris quote just really does her justice.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    Wink Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    "Talk about a hard challenge right there. ... If you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy," Miller told "60 Minutes" for a segment that will air Sunday. "Try and ski a slalom when ... you hit a gate less than every one second, so it's risky. You're putting your life at risk. ... It's like driving drunk, only there are no rules about it in ski racing."

    Asked if the risk meant he would never ski drunk again, Miller replied "No, I'm not saying that."

    -Bode Miller
    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
    - Brooke Shields

    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." you tell 'em Hillary!
    - Hillary Clinton


    "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
    - Charles De Gaulle, former French President

    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
    - Marion Barry, Washing, D.C. Mayor

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
    - Dan Quayle, U.S. Vice President

    "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
    - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

    -"I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra." -Titney Spears

    Stupid Britney Spears Quotes
    "I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt."

    omg I hate her fat ass even more now!"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey

    "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former Vice President

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    SVZ
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    Default Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    that one's fake alice

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! ourmaninBusan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    Quote Originally Posted by AliceInWonderland
    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey
    Quote Originally Posted by svz
    that one's fake alice
    I believe she actually said it, even though snopes says it's fake.
    I think they called up her agent/publicist and asked, "did she really say
    something that stupid?" And the publicist, eager to do spin control,
    denied it sternly, as if correcting a child.

    In fact, it was probably overheard, when she thought the microphones
    were off.

    ♫` ∴|| ~∞≠∝ ♫♪ $ -4C

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    Default Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    People all over the world recognize me as a spiritual leader.

    -- Steven Seagal

    ♫` ∴|| ~∞≠∝ ♫♪ $ -4C

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    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    More!!! These are hilarious!

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    Default Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
    - Miss Alabama, 1994 Miss USA Pageant (source)
    (I know, that was like shooting fish in a barrel.)

    Letters to a Landlord:

    "Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."

    "When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."
    And my favorite, from Miriam Amanda "Ma" Ferguson (June 13, 1875–
    June 25, 1961) the first female Governor of Texas in 1924, and the
    second female state governor in the United States, is this:


    "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for Texas."


    I believe the issue was bilingual education in Spanish or something like that.

    FURTHER EXPLANATION (spoiler):
    Jesus spoke Aramaic, which was ancient Hebrew. Unless my
    theology dropout friend lied to me all these years, the gospels have
    apparently been translated from Aramaic to ancient Greek to Latin
    and then in English, which grew mostly out of the cultural fusion
    that followed the Norman Invasion of England in 1066. Early English
    writers such as Chaucer (1342-1400) helped give it the grammatical
    structure we recognize today. Jesus did not speak English.

    ♫` ∴|| ~∞≠∝ ♫♪ $ -4C

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    Default Re: Stupid Celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)

    Hahaha, those were hillarious! Uh, MIke tyson, Bolivia is a country,,, and the Mairah one was hysterical,,, Mr t. was funny too,, but the funniest has to be keanu's about the melting people.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    Red face Stupid celebrity quotes from stupid celebrities

    Britney Spears
    'I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.'

    Alicia Silverstone
    'I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.'

    Charlotte Church
    'Mum, have I sung at the Hollywood Bowl?'

    Christina Aguilera
    'So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

    Colin Farrell
    'It's not that I'm stupid. I just don't think sometimes.

    David Arquette
    'I think God is a giant vibrator in the sky ... a pulsating force of incredible energy.'

    Elle MacPherson
    'Underwear is such an emotional thing.'

    Keanu Reeves
    'I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart people and you've got dumb people.'

    Justin Timberlake
    'I pick my nose and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If there's a bogey then just pick it, man.'

    Martine McCutcheon
    'Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want.'

    Victoria Beckham
    'I dress sexily - but not in an obvious way. Sexy in a virginal way.'

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    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Default Re: stupid celebrity quotes from stupid celebrities

    And then you wonder what we DON'T hear. Bet that's even better!

    Britney Spears should not be allowed to reproduce...

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    Elite Member Aella's Avatar
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    Default Re: stupid celebrity quotes from stupid celebrities

    That Britney quote sounds almost like a Bushism. And seriously, how can anybody be that stupid.

    However, the David Arquette quote kind of OWNS me. I'm tempted to use it as my sig.

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    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    Default Re: stupid celebrity quotes from stupid celebrities

    More:

    Emma Bunton(Baby Spice)
    "I'm a green belt in karate, I'm quite good at tap dancing and I can say the alphabet backwards, which I think is really clever of me."

    Christina Aguilera
    "I wouldn't feel right wearing clothes that cover my whole body."

    Pink
    "I like Carey's thing too much - so that pretty much rules out the whole lesbian deal."

    Ashlee Simpson
    "It was Mozart's birthday the other day. My boyfriend was playing him all day. I love Mozart."

    Tom Cruise on baby daughter Suri:
    "The hours go by so quickly now as I just stare at her."


    Kevin Federline

    "I could do without hearing Baby One More Time any more."

    Rachel Bilson
    "A beagle ate my face when I was three. I hate beagles and I'm not afraid to say 'hate'."


    Jordan
    on her new pink Beetle car:
    "We'll have to wait til summer but I'm sure I'll get Pete to help christen the back seat!"

    Jessica Alba
    "I thought it was my job to give all the boys their first kiss."

    Pink
    "With bulldogs, you have to get right in there. They like pressure, so you're kissing them and they'll just eat your face. It's very nourishing for the soul."


    Nicole Kidman

    "I'm not scared of snakes or spiders. But I am scared of butterflies. There is something eerie about them."

    sky.com

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

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    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    Default Re: stupid celebrity quotes from stupid celebrities

    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy
    More:



    Tom Cruise on baby daughter Suri:
    "The hours go by so quickly now as I just stare at her."
    (If the kid even exists)> Imagine lying peacefully asleep in your crib, then waking up to that nuthouse's face hanging over you Traumatized for life! The kid will need years of therapy.
    Last edited by HWBL; June 6th, 2006 at 03:31 PM.
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

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