NANNY NIGHTMARES The real-life au pairs to the ultra-rich - and the hot Scarlett Johansson flick that tells their tale
By KAREN ROBINOVITZ THE setting: lavish opulence. A world of 18th century antiques, Picassos on the wall, sheared mink blankets and Pratesi bedding. We're talking about apartments with sky-high ceilings, furniture that costs more than most people's annual salaries and sweeping city views. A life filled with drivers and Range Rovers, babies in Bonpoint, reservations at Per Se and vacations in Maui. Sounds like a dream, right? It may be. But not when you're the nanny. And while the new film "The Nanny Diaries," starring Scarlett Johansson, might seem like a fun, exaggerated account of the world of New York kiddie caretakers, the real-life nannies we spoke to say the flick is actually more fact than fiction.
Indeed, as it turns out, the world of 10021 Nannies - sometimes called "740 Park slaves," referring to the domestic helpers who work for the affluenza residing at ritzy 740 Park Avenue - is not so fabulous when part of your job description is "don't drink anything other than water in order to avoid stains."
Or when that trip to Hawaii involves staking out a beach cabana at 4 a.m. and waiting until the family wakes up to occupy it seven hours later.
Welcome to caretaking in Manhattan, a community full of over-the-top displays of wealth and entitlement juxtaposed with crazy demands.
"I was permitted to only use one bathroom in the house - there were nine others," says Jane, a nanny for the rich and fabulous who asked to remain anonymous in order to protect her job.
There are wild bouts of stinginess.
"I was told not to spend more than $10 on lunch for myself. Meanwhile, I would take the kids on thousand-dollar shopping sprees at FAO Schwarz," reports a former Fifth Avenue nanny who also wishes to remain anonymous. She has since moved on to a happier Park Avenue gig.
At her new job, she's allowed to wear whatever she wants - at her old job, there was a stiff, uncomfortable uniform that made it virtually impossible to get "down and dirty" when she needed to. In many cases, a lot of abuse is heaped on nannies.
"After reading a grocery list of my tasks for the day, [my employer] threw the paper in my face and poked me with her pen," cries another nanny, who wants to remain anonymous due to a lawsuit she is filing against her former boss.
Sounds like a Jerry Springer buffet.
A day's work for this nanny? Up at 5 a.m. for baby feedings, prepping breakfast - which often included making breakfast for the parents - and getting the kids ready for school while trying to decipher the cryptic to-do lists that the lady of the house prepared for her. Then she spent time with the baby; picked up dry cleaning; cleaned up the kids' rooms; fed the baby; and tried to somehow fit in a bathroom break.
In the afternoon, she picked up the other kids from school; ferried them to their various activities (art class, piano lessons, soccer practice and ballet, depending on which day it was); changed the baby's diaper for the 19th time; cooked dinner for the whole family; and cleaned up the messes the children - and housekeeper! - had left behind. She read bedtime stories, played with the kids and finally put the baby down to sleep.
If you're exhausted just reading this, imagine what it was like for her to do it every day.
It's no wonder that "The Nanny Diaries" - which was based on the nonfiction best-selling novel by one-time tortured uptown nannies Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus - is so hotly anticipated in film form. Scarlett Johansson plays Nanny, and Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti co-star as Mrs. and Mr. X, the millionaire parents who have never used their stove and claim their child is allergic to air, dairy, peanuts, strawberries, propane-based shellac and "some kind of grain."
Production designer Mark Ricker, who is currently doing sets for Uma Thurman's flick "The Accidental Husband," took cues from "real estate porn" - i.e. Architectural Digest and posh interior books - to create the candy colored, precisely ordered X residence.
"It was an iridescent pearl-like fantasy land dripping with details," he says, comparing it to Alice falling down the rabbit hole in Wonderland.
"Patterns were juiced up. There were Xs hidden in textures and wallpaper. Everything was so symmetrical - pairs of sconces, chairs, arches, doors - that there was a strangled sense of correctness that contradicted the world Scarlett's character came from in rural New Jersey."
"The second Scarlett walks in, you just know she'll screw it up," he adds, describing parents of the Upper East Side as "cannibalistic."
And while the mothers ranged from polite to psychotic, distant to deranged, the one thing that seemed to hold true in most households was the complete ineptitude of the fathers.
"They were completely incapable of doing anything around the house, or with the children," says Jane. "Most of them had never bathed a child, never changed a diaper or dealt with a temper tantrum." And while popular lore loves to play up the sexual possibilities that exist between dad and the nanny, that isn't the case with the ones we spoke to. They're not being chased around by the father. Instead, they're being chased around by the insane demands of the lady of the house.
Kraus says that she knows nannies that are instructed to spend the entire day doing mindless errands, like hunting down "the right" button cover - instead of playing with the children they were hired to raise.
For the record, not all nannies are living in this hell. Some are blessed with $50,000 bonuses, brand new cars as Christmas gifts and lots and lots of love.
"I am treated like part of the family," says a bubbly blond, 24-year-old nanny waiting outside he prestigious Dalton School to pick up her charge. She has a wonderful relationship with her employers, who invite her to family dinners and give her chic cashmere hand-me-downs.
That said, "Some of the others - the things I hear, I can't believe they're still alive." She wouldn't go into further detail because her employer insisted she sign a non-disclosure agreement.
"It is a big trend now, confidentiality agreements. Discretion is paramount so that whatever is heard, said and seen in the house stays in the house," explains Jonathan Frye, president of The Lindquist Group, a domestic staffing firm known for its Rockefeller-type clientele (the Rockefellers actually use them). Working for this type of family often means a big payday - $100,000 plus health benefits. That's if you're fortunate enough to hold an American passport - if not, it's a different story entirely.
"It's harder for the nannies who are not from America and are here illegally. They are not being paid as well or treated as well. It's as if the family thinks they can get away with it," says the all-American looking nanny outside of Dalton.
The ethnic, racial and national divide in nannydom is huge. To wit: "The Nanny Diaries" cast credits read like this: Jamaican Nanny, South American Nanny, Polish Nanny - to say nothing of the moms - Xanax Mom, Divorcing Mom, Paranoid Mom.
"The non-citizens get the short end of the stick," agrees McLaughlin. As was the case with the aforementioned nanny who is embroiled in a lawsuit; her employer threatened to call immigration every time a concern was voiced. This mother was also big on name-calling, cursing and throwing shoes. The nanny's memories of this work experience are so traumatic, she breaks down in tears whenever she talks about it.
"Nannies have long hours. And it's normal to be denied a day off, even if you need a mammogram when you have a lump in your breast," says Ai-jen Poo, Lead Organizer for Domestic Workers United. Those are the kind of whispers that can be overheard as nannies with $800 Bugaboo strollers watch the children on the playground.
It's as if they're in a private club, where members share their stories of misery as they drag over-scheduled children to fifty activities a day. And then there's the other camp of nannies, bragging about their perks like Wall Streeters at Scores. "We are warned not to gossip," Jane says.
But girls will be girls.
Suzanne Hansen, a former Beverly Hills nanny, did not keep her mouth shut when she penned the bestseller, "You'll Never Nanny in This Town Again," a thinly veiled novel based on her stint as nanny for Hollywood power player Mike Ovitz.
Whenever Hansen attempted to convey her problems to her employer, their response was, "Well, we took you to Paris."
"Maybe they did, but when I was there, it wasn't like I saw the Eiffel Tower. I was taking care of their sick child and working harder than I ever have in my life anywhere else," recalls the author. "And I wasn't allowed to drink the water from the honor bar, but it was fine for her [the mother] to buy a $12,000 purse."
"The sense of holier-than-thou of a lot of these families is so out of control. I have been referred to as an 'extra expense' and was told I was not allowed to sit at the table with the children when they were eating," says Jane.
"They had so many servants, and yet I was made to pick up the crumbs the housekeeper left behind after cleaning the kitchen. This mother was on the PTA board for one child and wouldn't change a diaper for her other. And I got in trouble when the kids' shoes weren't lined up in a certain order."
Jane blogged about her Park Avenue experience at one point and had lists like, "Why My Job Was Like The Nanny Diaries." The answer: "The mother cannot take care of her own children; the mother has never had a job; frequent temper tantrums; she worries more about fresh fruit than any other aspect of her child's well-being, and she does not know where Grand Central station is."
The blog no longer exists. And as for Jane's tenure on Park Avenue - well, she's on Lexington now, working for an upper middle class family. She is much happier. And she can use any bathroom she wants.
Nanny Nightmares - By KAREN ROBINOVITZ - Celebrity Gossip | Photos | Hollywood Gossip
The Nanny Diaries, Scarlett Johansson's new film & the truth
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