Login to remove the ads!
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 19

Thread: Memorable, funny and even smart celebrity quotes!

  1. #1
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    13,750

    Default Memorable, funny and even smart celebrity quotes!

    Memorable, funny and even smart celebrity quotes!

    A spin-off of the "stupid celebrity quotes"
    thread, here you'll find that at least some
    celebs were/are able to say smart, funny,
    intelligent and true things. Some of these
    quotes have become "the" thing to say, as
    they were adopted by society to be used
    whenever a situation calls for them.

    Enjoy!


    "I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
    Groucho Marx

    "I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time."
    Marilyn Monroe

    "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
    Dean Martin

    "The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary."
    Vidal Sassoon

    "Wise men talk because they have something to say.
    Fools talk because they have to say something.
    "
    Plato (Okay, so not a celeb, but a philosopher)

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"
    Gandhi

    "Life is hard. After all, it kills you."
    Katherine Hepburn

    "I want a man who's kind and understanding.
    Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
    "
    Zsa Zsa Gabor

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
    Mae West

    "We do not own this place, we are just passengers."
    Robert Redford (about earth/environment).

    "The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich
    and getting poorer.
    "
    Joan Collins

    "With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson.
    Without them, I'm fat and 60.
    "
    Jack Nicholson

    "Movies are fun, but they're not a cure for cancer."
    Warren Beatty

    "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
    about things that matter.
    "
    Martin Luther King Jr.

    "Some people see things as they are and say why.
    I dream things that never were and say why not?
    "
    Robert F. Kennedy

    "Service to others is the rent you pay for your
    room here on earth.
    "
    Muhammad Ali
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

  2. #2
    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    37,547

    Default

    My parents told me 'if you ever believe anything anybody ever tells you about who you are, what you are, your image or if they hate you or love you, you're going to be miserable. You do your job no matter what you do, you do it the best you can and you go home and really concern yourself with your homelife because that's where people blossom as people. Not when you're being berated or elated'
    Kate Hudson


    'The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you
    gotta put up with the rain.'
    Dolly Parton


    'Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.'
    Cindy Crawford


    'I find the earth to be a place of misery in which I am surrounded by the conformity that kills society'
    Matt LeBlanc


    'On stage I make love to 25,000 people then I go home alone'.
    Janis Joplin


    'I don't believe makeup and the right hairstyle alone can make a woman beautiful. The most radiant woman in the room is the one full of life and
    experience.'
    Sharon Stone


    'Macho does not prove mucho'
    Zsa Zsa Gabor


    'The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him. '
    Cher


    'Society has traditionally always tried to find scapegoats for its problems. Well, here I am.'
    Marilyn Manson


    'If you're going to do something like getting married, it should have a sense of celebration to it. It should be grand - it doesn't have to be in tracksuits!'
    Marilyn Manson (in response to the K-fed,Britney wedding)


    'I dont trust or love anyone because people are creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping here, creeping there, creeping everywhere. Crippity, crappity, creepies'
    Vincent Gallo


    'I'm shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I've done everything I can to avoid it. '
    Johnny Depp

  3. #3
    Gold Member SuperHeroTights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Pluto (it is too still a planet!)
    Posts
    1,435

    Default

    "With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson.
    Without them, I'm fat and 60.
    "
    Jack Nicholson


    This one is great. I'm so using it in my signature!

  4. #4
    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    37,547

    Default

    ^That quote is great!!

  5. #5
    SVZ
    SVZ is offline
    Do fish have boogers? SVZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    1,000,003,609

    Default

    'The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him. '
    Cher


    Love it!

    "We do not own this place, we are just passengers."
    Robert Redford (about earth/environment).
    this one's good too! I'm using it thanks HWBL

    I'll add some too

    “I'm not a woman, I'm a force of nature.”
    Courtney Love

    I don't think President Bush is doing anything at all about AIDS. In fact, I'm not sure he even knows how to spell AIDS.
    Elizabeth Taylor

  6. #6
    Elite Member calendargurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Valley of the Dolls
    Posts
    3,235

    Default

    'I dont trust or love anyone because people are creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping here, creeping there, creeping everywhere. Crippity, crappity, creepies'
    Vincent Gallo

    WTF!? look who's TALKING!!

  7. #7
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    13,750

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperHeroTights View Post
    "With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson.
    Without them, I'm fat and 60.
    "
    Jack Nicholson


    This one is great. I'm so using it in my signature!
    LOL, at least he is aware - unlike many younger stars - that there's a difference between the man, and the image. By the way, next year you can change the number in that quote to 70!
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

  8. #8
    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    in the wild blue yonder
    Posts
    15,479

    Default

    "There's no deoderant like success." Elizabeth Taylor

    "Televison is a medium that is neither rare nor well done." Edward R. Murrow

  9. #9
    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    37,547

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HWBL View Post
    LOL, at least he is aware - unlike many younger stars - that there's a difference between the man, and the image. By the way, next year you can change the number in that quote to 70!
    I'm amazed by how different people can sometimes look wearing sunglasses, compared to when they're not. Just goes to show how much the eyes make the face! I speak from epxerience, last summer my friend and I were lusting big time over a lifeguard who looked like Johnny Depp! Until he took off his sunglasses! It was bizarre!

  10. #10
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    13,750

    Default

    "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you
    gotta put up with the rain.
    "
    Dolly Parton

    "I don't believe in pessimism."
    Clint Eastwood

    "It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference."
    Tom Brokaw

    "The trouble with some women is that they get all
    excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
    "
    Cher

    "Kites rise highest against the wind -- not with it."
    Winston Churchill

    "Be the change you want to see in the world."
    Gandhi

    "The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important."
    Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

    "Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."
    John Fitzgerald Kennedy

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt

    "Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death."
    Kahlil Gibran

    "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
    WC Fields

    "It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love,
    drunk, or running for office.
    "
    Shirley MacLaine

    "God gave men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood
    to run one at a time.
    "
    Robin Williams

    "No man is rich enough to buy back his past."
    Oscar Wilde
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

  11. #11
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    England
    Posts
    55,576

    Default

    I gave my beauty and youth to men. Now I am giving my wisdom and experience - the best of me - to animals. Brigitte Bardot


    Killing an animal to make a coat is a sin. It wasn't meant to be and we have no right to do it. A woman gains great status when she refuses to see anything beautiful killed to be put on her back. Then she's truly beautiful! Doris Day


    The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. Gandhi


    I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." - Groucho Marx

    I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor" - Joan Rivers

    Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right - Henry Ford

    Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery - Spike Milligan

  12. #12
    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    37,547

    Default

    Love the 'diamonds on the floor' quote!! I love Joan

  13. #13
    Elite Member JuicyLucy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2,769

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by StayYoung&Pretty View Post
    I'm amazed by how different people can sometimes look wearing sunglasses, compared to when they're not. Just goes to show how much the eyes make the face! I speak from epxerience, last summer my friend and I were lusting big time over a lifeguard who looked like Johnny Depp! Until he took off his sunglasses! It was bizarre!
    Been there, done that.
    Dont Feed The Models
    JuicyLucy

  14. #14
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    13,750

    Default

    Found some gems by legendary director Billy Wilder (1906-2002, The Apartment, Some Like It Hot, The Fortune Cookie, Irma La Douce, Witness For The Prosecution, The Seven Year Itch and so on and so forth).

    "An actor entering through the door, you've got nothing. But if he enters through the window, you've got a situation."

    "Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award."

    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

    "I've met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes."

    "People copy, people steal. Most of the pictures they make nowadays are loaded down with special effects. I couldn't do that. I quit smoking because I couldn't reload my Zippo."



    And now for some other celeb quotes:

    "The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused."
    Shirley MacLaine

    "I've made so many movies playing a hooker that they don't pay me in the regular way anymore. They leave it on the dresser."
    Shirley MacLaine

    "The older you get, the more awards you get. So, if you live long enough, then you get all the awards eventually."
    Kirk Douglas

    "If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married."
    Kirk Douglas

    "I have eyes like those of a dead pig. "
    Marlon Brando

    "Acting is the expression of a neurotic impulse. It's a bum's life. The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis."
    Marlon Brando

    "Never confuse the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent."
    Marlon Brando
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

  15. #15
    Elite Member Mariesoleil's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada baby!
    Posts
    6,904

    Default

    Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
    Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"
    Winston Churchill

    Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!"
    Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"
    Winston Churchill

    "I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
    George Bush
    "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Stupid celebrity quotes! (are they ever smart anyways?)
    By AliceInWonderland in forum Miscellaneous
    Replies: 167
    Last Post: January 29th, 2011, 01:30 AM
  2. Funny quotes from The Edge
    By AliceInWonderland in forum Laughs and Oddities
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: October 16th, 2006, 06:40 PM
  3. Celebrity quotes of the week
    By angelais in forum Gossip Archive
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: April 25th, 2006, 10:06 PM
  4. Celebrity Body Quotes
    By Cuz_I_Can in forum Weight
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: February 5th, 2006, 06:04 AM
  5. Funny Quotes
    By browneyedgirly in forum Laughs and Oddities
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: December 1st, 2005, 07:36 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •