Latest celebrity divorces have one thing in common: toddlers

Biatch · November 22nd, 2006, 08:15 AM

Latest celebrity divorces have one thing in common: toddlers
All of the latest divorcing celebrity couples share one commonality - they have toddler children. In fact none of the splitting couples are childless and all of them have children between the ages of one to four.
Whenever celebrities get divorced I am particularly interested in their children - how many they have and what ages and genders they are. It struck me that nearly all of the recently-divorcing celebrities have children that are going through toddlerhood and probably bugging the hell out of them. (Along with doing plenty of cute things to soften the blow of random tantrums, like saying new words you know you never taught them.)
I’m not saying that the innocent toddlers were the causes of these Hollywood breakups, children are never to blame for a divorce. It’s just an interesting coincidence. Here are the latest celebrity splits along with the stats on their children.

Chris Rock and Maleek Rock: double toddler trouble
Chris Rock was said to have filed divorce papers in early November of this year, but that turns out not to be true. TMZ reports that Chris and Maleek seem to be giving their relationship of ten years another try. They were photographed out at a charity dinner together last week and have not made their divorce official. They have two toddler daughters, Lola, 4, and Zahra, 2.

Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson: two year-old son
Chris Robinson has finally filed for divorce from Kate Hudson after this unlikely Hollywood couple announced their separation in mid August. They have a two year-old son, Ryder, who is such a handful that they don’t even dare cut his hair.

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe: one toddler son, an older daughter
Reese Witherspoon wasted no time filing divorce from Ryan Phillippe, who was presumed to be cheating on her with his younger co-star, Abbie Cornish. They announced their separation at the end of October and Reese made it official less than two weeks later. They have two children, Ava, 8, and Deacon, who just turned three.

Heather Mills and Paul McCartney: one toddler daughter
Heather Mills and Paul McCartney seem as ill-suited for each other as an evil harpy and beloved legendary rock star could be. They managed to procreate, though, and it was undoubtedly great sex that got them together in the first place. Their daughter, Beatrice, just turned three.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline: one soon-to-be toddler, one newborn
What recent celebrity divorce list would be complete without Britney and K-Fed? I almost didn’t include them, though, because Sean Preston turned one in September and only just entered toddlerhood. According to the Wiki, toddlers are between one to three, or maybe two to five, so little SP counts.
These breakups during their children’s toddlerhood may serve a biological purpose. Anthropologists have found that couples typically break up when their children are toddlers, with a peak in breakups after four years together. Having seen their children through the vulnerable baby stage, they are free to find another mate and reproduce again, which is our biological imperative.

The four-year pattern, as well as a tendency to divorce at the height of one’s reproductive years, also makes sense from a sociological point of view. “For instance,” Fisher says, “a prehistoric male who ‘divorced’ his partner after seeing one offspring through infancy would have had the opportunity to pick a younger ’spouse’ more capable of bearing and raising babies. A female might leave one mate to ‘marry’ a better provider for her and her forthcoming children.”

Notable recent celebrity divorces that did not involve toddlers include Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, Eminem and Kim Mathers, and Richie Sambora and Heather Locklear. Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards have two toddlers, though, and I didn’t include them since their split is old news.
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celebitchy · November 22nd, 2006, 10:08 AM

Oh wow, thanks for posting my story! I appreciate it.

Biatch · November 22nd, 2006, 10:16 AM

I TOTALLY love your site!
And check on you daily

celebitchy · November 22nd, 2006, 10:24 AM

Thanks so much! I get a lot of gossip from here and try to link back.

Biatch · November 22nd, 2006, 10:31 AM

I found you tottally by chance while doing a search on Angie/Brad, Britney/KFed & other celebs....
...and, let me tell you, TMZ -that got the money and the companies behind them, are nowhere near your site!!

Because, although they are MANY, and DO post loads of news , they have a lot of linkage and are biased when they DO put out opinions.

You come across as genuinely unbiased and interested more in fair, journalistic-type news.TMZ is more like a ragazine(only with more money).

So you keep it up...your days to take big celeb blogs over are ahead!!

LynnieD · November 22nd, 2006, 10:41 AM

Well, as a parent of a 2 yr old toddler daughter, I can telll you that I have certainly considered leaving my hubby recently too. Maybe it's in the air, maybe it's hormones, who know.....

Biatch · November 22nd, 2006, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnieD

Well, as a parent of a 2 yr old toddler daughter, I can telll you that I have certainly considered leaving my hubby recently too. Maybe it's in the air, maybe it's hormones, who know.....

Lynnie....I hear you...I have a 3 yr old...It might be the cause described above.....

Or is the lack of "time for parents", you know...

Luckily , we allready discussed&solved the issues,stepped over our own egos and we work hard at having "the old times's fun" back.

crumpet · November 22nd, 2006, 11:13 AM

Congrats on your site!
Research has consistently shown a marked decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of a child. If a couple stays together the satisfaction tends to increase again. As if I needed another reason to be CF.

MrsDark · November 22nd, 2006, 11:34 AM

Well I can't speak for celebrity moms who have the luxury of being able to foist a kid off on a nanny at a whim to go work out, have a spa day, work, go out with their friends or SO's, etc. (and have no compunctions about additional people raising their kids), but looking back now for about 2 to 3 years after I became a mom I think I forgot what sleep was. Not to mention eating a full meal, taking a crap/piss/shower, talking on the phone, shopping or having a freaking adult conversation that was not interrupted. Things like this can't NOT affect a relationship. I probably could have gotten a little more sleep if I'd been willing to forgo sex with my husband, but being a little brain dead for a few years was probably the right choice since lack of sex probably would have made us both crazier than we already were.

I regret nothing but to all couples 'waiting' to have kids you are never really ready. So I guess there's some truth to this article. Once we got through the toddler years (and yeah there were great and wonderful experiences and such...it wasn't HELL or anything, just took a lot out of us) life was a breeze and we were able to focus on us more.

celebitchy · November 22nd, 2006, 01:56 PM

Can someone please tell me when the toddler trouble ends, because my son just turned 2 at the end of September and he is what you call a "spirited" child. I was obviously inspired to make this connection b/w the toddlers and celebrity divorces. It causes a lot of stress in the marriage.

Oh Biatch I am editing my post because I just read your compliments. It really means a lot to me to hear that because it is hard work blogging all day and watching my son. (I do have a babysitter 1/2 days but still.) I am biased though a lot and try to be obvious about it, because I really dislike Madonna and am kind of souring on Angelina for instance, but I try to make my opinion known. Thanks so much!

AliceInWonderland · November 22nd, 2006, 02:01 PM

yet another reason why I always say;
CELEBRITIES SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BREED!

and those of you who disagree are just too naive and think these 'people' actually care about anyone else but themselves and their interests.

bottomline: celebrities make horrendous parents.

panda · November 22nd, 2006, 02:21 PM

My husband and I don't have children and we seem to be closer and happier than our friends who do have kids. They tell us how lucky we are that we don't have kids. That's another reason we decided not to have kids, we have such a happy marriage!

LynnieD · November 22nd, 2006, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsDark

Well I can't speak for celebrity moms who have the luxury of being able to foist a kid off on a nanny at a whim to go work out, have a spa day, work, go out with their friends or SO's, etc. (and have no compunctions about additional people raising their kids), but looking back now for about 2 to 3 years after I became a mom I think I forgot what sleep was. Not to mention eating a full meal, taking a crap/piss/shower, talking on the phone, shopping or having a freaking adult conversation that was not interrupted. Things like this can't NOT affect a relationship. I probably could have gotten a little more sleep if I'd been willing to forgo sex with my husband, but being a little brain dead for a few years was probably the right choice since lack of sex probably would have made us both crazier than we already were.

I regret nothing but to all couples 'waiting' to have kids you are never really ready. So I guess there's some truth to this article. Once we got through the toddler years (and yeah there were great and wonderful experiences and such...it wasn't HELL or anything, just took a lot out of us) life was a breeze and we were able to focus on us more.

You said it sister. Its a dark dark time (dealing w/toddlers)---most especially if you do not have a HUGE, DEPENDABLE, RELIABLE SUPPORT SYSTEM. I cannot stress that enough to ANYONE who is considering having children/adopting. I'll live through it too (I think).....and hopefully so will my marriage. There are days I am not sure though that I, or my marriage will though, but I guess we have to work at it...have some TIME FOR OUR F-ING SELVES and take it a day at a time. Its tough man....so much harder than I EVER thought. EVER.
Hang in there all you other moms/dads out there.

crumpet · November 22nd, 2006, 02:44 PM

My husband and I don't have children and we seem to be closer and happier than our friends who do have kids. They tell us how lucky we are that we don't have kids. That's another reason we decided to have kids, we have such a happy marriage!

Gosh, Panda, reading your post was like looking in a mirror!

Sunrider · November 22nd, 2006, 03:33 PM

We have two kids - one is 3½, the other 1. The last year has been HARD to get through - I always thought number two was easier than number one but I was wrong! It's like the marriage turned into work instead of a relaitionship - and there has been almost no time for being a couple. I'm almost happy to see that we're not alone