PRAVDA on Britney Spears

[ultrafabviolet]

What future holds in store for Britney?
Front page / Society / Showbiz and sports
12.05.2006 [i.e., 12 May 2006]

Britney Spears finally announced she's pregnant again. But does it mean that she is still planning to divorce Kevin Federline?

In an appearance on the "Late Show With David Letterman", Britney made the announcement personally that she was definitely having another baby. But as viewers will attest, there was a tenseness in her eyes that the smile could not erase.

Like most girls that have babies back-to-back, one would expect Britney Spears to be a little on edge. But when you have an adolescent husband who requires more mothering than all 4 of his kids put together, you have the makings for a class-A divorce.

Spears recently had to hire a male bodyguard to stick around Kevin Federline, her erstwhile mate, and keep an eye on him, and reports of their marital woes have been running wild almost since the day they got married. There are tales of expensive cars getting towed, credit cards and money getting severely limited, parties and clubhopping being curtailed and monitored, and cigarettes and booze tossed out of the mansion, says postchronicle.com

Today many ask themselves a question whether the second child, which will be K-Fed's fourth (he has two children with former girlfriend Shar Jackson), be able to fix their seemingly dysfunctional family?

Tales of Spears' marital woes have been plastered on the covers of tabloids since their marriage in 2004. Spears allegedly put Federline on an allowance to combat his shopoholism and apparently hired a sitter of sorts to watch over him. In addition, Spears supposedly chucked out all the alcohol in the house, insideeonline.com reports.

Today there are plenty of jokes about Britney Spears. Many of them are connected to Britney's pregnancy and her divorce matters.

Scientists attending a conference in Oslo, Norway to discuss threats to the global ecology placed pop star Britney Spears' rapid reproductive pace at the top of their agenda, conference attendees confirmed today.

While the conference had originally been organized to bring the world's greatest scientific minds together to grapple with such problems as global warming and avian flu, news of Ms. Spears' unexpected second pregnancy immediately pushed those issues to the back burner.

Many of the scientists' concerns focused on the alarming fertility of Ms. Spears' husband, Kevin Federline, who appears to be able to reproduce at will.

"According to the tabloids, Ms. Spears and Mr. Federline are almost never in the same city, and yet he still managed to fertilize her egg," said Dr. Zang Liangyong of Beijing University . "From all evidence, Mr. Federline appears to possess some kind of super-sperm that may be transmittable over phone lines."

Underlining the gravity of his concern, the scientist added, "Kevin Federline can no longer be considered a shiftless hanger-on and must now be thought of as a pandemic.' [emphasis added]

Source: http://english.pravda.ru/society/sho...0205-Britney-0

Prepared by Alexander Timoshik
Pravda.Ru

Uh . . . "da."

Vi

[lovely bones]

Originally Posted by ultrafabviolet

"According to the tabloids, Ms. Spears and Mr. Federline are almost never in the same city, and yet he still managed to fertilize her egg," said Dr. Zang Liangyong of Beijing University . "From all evidence, Mr. Federline appears to possess some kind of super-sperm that may be transmittable over phone lines."

Underlining the gravity of his concern, the scientist added, "Kevin Federline can no longer be considered a shiftless hanger-on and must now be thought of as a pandemic.' [emphasis added]

I've always thought KF is a walking disease, take your pick which.

[Wonderwoman]

Britney never should have become pregnant twice in quick succession without knowing K-Fed better. I think she will regret this marriage for a long, long time.

[UndercoverGator]

Oh I have always loved Pravda and the Russian newspapers. They border on the most bizarre tabloids, even worst that the ones in the UK, except they are always filled with speculations of 'magic' and the 'supernatural' in the most bizarre ways possible.

Telephonic sperm? I don't think so.

[bella]

"According to the tabloids, Ms. Spears and Mr. Federline are almost never in the same city, and yet he still managed to fertilize her egg," said Dr. Zang Liangyong of Beijing University . "From all evidence, Mr. Federline appears to possess some kind of super-sperm that may be transmittable over phone lines."

I don't get this newspaper. Are they just being weird or trying to suggest Britney has had an affair? It only takes being together for 10mins to get pregnant. I'm sure they've been together than amount of time.

[gonflable]

Maybe it's not Kevin's baby... THAT would be awesome!