Top ten reasons to see Tom Cruise in MI3 - Top 10 reasons not to

buttmunch · May 15th, 2006, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Top 10 reasons to see Tom Cruise in M:I:III:

1. Because in the right role in the right film, Tom Cruise is pretty damn watchable. He was brilliant in Magnolia, quite good in Jerry Maguire and Born on the Fourth of July (Academy Award nominations for each) and did a fine job in Collateral.

2. Because if you grew up in the '80s, there's a very good chance you own Top Gun on VHS, laser disc or DVD. You bought those Ray Ban's aviator sunglasses because of him, didn't you? Yeah, you even looked into joining the air force. And yet you didn't. So you owe him.

3. Because he's the only actor to star in five consecutive films that grossed more than $100 million at the U.S. box office. They include: A Few Good Men (1992), The Firm (1993), Interview with the Vampire (1994), Mission: Impossible (1996), and Jerry Maguire (1996). As a whole, his films have made $5.5 billion worldwide. I don't know how this affects your position, but maybe you're shallow that way.

4. Because Beck Hansen, Giovanni Ribisi and Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl) are all Scientologists, and any club they're in can't be all that bad, no? Bueller? Bueller?

5. Because of the wonderful things he does. In 1996, Cruise stopped to help the victim of a hit and run, saw her to the hospital and paid her bills. The victim was aspiring Brazilian actress Heloisa Vinhas.

6. Because you have to admire a guy who keeps putting his personal values and beliefs in the spotlight no matter how much we snicker. Cruise was booed by a select crowd outside the London premiere of M:I:III, and instead of fleeing, he spent four hours chatting with them.

7. Because J.J. Abrams (Lost, Alias) directed M:I:III. And it really does look like the best one. Not that it has to try very hard ....

8. Because Cruise did his own stunts in M:I:III. Don't you want to see him get thrown into a wall, slammed against the side of a car, and fall off a tall building?

9. Because these anti-Cruise lobbyists are getting out of hand. Since discovering a little-known Congressional act from 1843 that states 50,000 citizens can sign a petition to have an individual's citizenship revoked, close to 3,000 people have put their mark at www.petitionspot.com/petitions/tomcruise.

10. Because c'mon! Come on! You know you want to. Seriously, just go watch the movie. So Tom Cruise and Scientology make another $11 off you. Considering what you've already spent on Tom Cruise films over the past two decades, does it really matter?

Top 10 reasons to not see Tom Cruise in M:I:III:

1. Because Mission: Impossible 2 sucked. Were there any unresolved issues you were left with after that film?

Were you left wondering, "Hey! They haven't pulled enough rubber masks off people's faces in this film! We need some more rubber masks! They better make another film, because by God, I need more rubber masks!"

2. Because Cruise keeps pushing Scientology on us, and the more we hear about it, the more we wish we hadn't. Sure, Scientology cures dyslexia. And this watch I'm wearing keeps elephants away.

3. Because he left the bedside of pregnant girlfriend Katie Holmes to promote the film across the world. That says that Tom Cruise cares more about Tom Cruise, the corporate brand, than Tom Cruise, the human being.

4. Because John Travolta, Juliette Lewis and Lisa Marie Presley are all Scientologists, and any club they belong to has to be a bit suspect.

5. Because he's so quick to sue anyone who infers he's gay, which only makes people more suspicious. Sure, it could be damaging to an actor's box office take to be perceived as anything less than macho, but gay allegations have followed Keanu Reeves all his life and he's never had a problem just scoffing at them. The lady doth protest too much.

6. Because the New York Daily News ran an item on June 17 that claimed Cruise had signed a contract with Katie Holmes for a public relationship. The newspaper alleged a source close to the deal said the deal was signed on June 7, 2005, is worth $5 million over five years, and includes a "no sex" clause.

7. Because Radar claims Holmes was one of several prospective girlfriends Cruise wished to be publicly linked with.

The first was Scarlett Johansson, who was originally cast for M:I:III.

But after a visit to the Scientology Celebrity Center in Los Angeles, where Cruise proselytized for two hours, Johansson was suddenly unavailable for the film.

He reportedly then turned his attention to Jessica Alba, Kate Bosworth and Lindsay Lohan before settling on Holmes.

8. Because he allegedly threatened to not promote M:I:III unless parent company Viacom pulled a South Park episode off Comedy Central. The episode, "Trapped in the Closet," inferred that he is gay and that Scientology is a scam.

9. Because we've already been through all this religious zealot crap with Mel Gibson, and we really don't want to encourage any more celebrities.

10. Because -- and it needs to be said again -- M:I:II sucked.

http://www.canada.com/topics/enterta...12efa4&k=47942

I'm off to sign the petition...

darksithbunny · May 15th, 2006, 07:25 AM

I signed it too!!

Mel1973 · May 15th, 2006, 07:58 AM

I signed too!
He reportedly then turned his attention to Jessica Alba, Kate Bosworth and Lindsay Lohan before settling on Holmes.
The only thing, I mean the ONLY thing that could make this worse is if it was Lindsay Lohan! OMG!

buttmunch · May 15th, 2006, 08:12 AM

I'd love to see him try and get lindsay off drugs...hahahahahahaa...he'd probably leave Scientology after seeing the futility of it.

Bellatheball · May 15th, 2006, 09:48 AM

^^

miss_perfect · May 15th, 2006, 09:57 AM

I think I'm one of the few people on the planet who has not seen Jerry Maguire, and who has absolutely no intention of ever seeing it. He is not watchable - he plays the same guy, over and over again!

Mel1973 · May 15th, 2006, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miss_perfect

I think I'm one of the few people on the planet who has not seen Jerry Maguire, and who has absolutely no intention of ever seeing it. He is not watchable - he plays the same guy, over and over again!

OMG - he is Jennifer Aniston!

miss_perfect · May 15th, 2006, 01:05 PM

^ Good call! But she's far more masculine.

LynnieD · May 15th, 2006, 01:11 PM

I just happened to catch 'The Firm' over the weekend...I was flipping through the channels, there was nothing else on....I was weak. And he was ok in that role too. BUT, he was younger, and not so freaking nutty. Or at least I didn't know about it the first time I saw it.
He will never escape the 'crazy' rap......heeeeeeheeee

WickedHo · May 15th, 2006, 02:10 PM

6. Because the New York Daily News ran an item on June 17 that claimed Cruise had signed a contract with Katie Holmes for a public relationship. The newspaper alleged a source close to the deal said the deal was signed on June 7, 2005, is worth $5 million over five years, and includes a "no sex" clause.

I totally believe it.

Wonderwoman · May 16th, 2006, 12:48 AM

I hate the man. I refuse to see any movie he is in since his anti psychiatric rant. What he said was so ignorant and irresponsible.

ediebrooks · May 16th, 2006, 06:48 AM

I signed the petition. I hope he is deported to the UK.

bella · May 16th, 2006, 06:59 AM

No thankyou! Send him to Africa!

flecjill · May 16th, 2006, 07:08 PM

The only tom cruise movies I've ever seen was "interview with a vampire" and "war of the worlds" and no others....bits and pieces on tv but haven't watched anything in full and have no intention to ever to. His nose is way too disturbing to be able to pay attention to the movie.

moushi · May 17th, 2006, 06:20 PM

i think the only place they could send him would be antartica, nobody wants him.