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Old April 16th, 2006, 09:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
tan tan
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Default Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch
By Biff Scuzzy
Apr 16, 2006, 09:12 NAMIBIA - Unable to convince Angelina Jolie to become his wife, Brad Pitt has settled for becoming her bitch instead. Mr. Pitt's transformation from leading man to nanny began on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith nearly two years ago, according to friends of the couple.

"It's been a gradual process," said one friend, "but nobody who knows them was really surprised when Brad came out in a Mohawk like Maddox [Ms. Jolie's four-year-old adopted son, whom Mr. Pitt adopted too.] Brad's her bitch, and he knows it."

If Mr. Pitt is troubled by such talk, he doesn't let on.

"I love the woman," Mr. Pitt, 42, told an NBC (Namibian Broadcasting Company) reporter. "She completes me. When she said she didn't want to get married, I asked her if she would at least give me a haircut like the one she gives Maddie. I want her to love me the way she loves him."

In addition to his new haircut, Mr. Pitt has a tattoo, his first, a Buddhist prayer etched on his lower back.

"It's just like the one Angie has on her shoulder," said Mr. Pitt excitedly. "It will protect Maddie from harm. I was so thrilled when Angie said I could get a tattoo like hers, though I was hoping she would let me get it on my shoulder like she has."

Mr. Pitt was also eager to correct the record about Ms. Jolie's decision to have their biological baby in Africa.

"I totally supported the idea," he said. "I don't know how the rumors got started that I didn't want to come here because of the prevalence of AIDS, tuberculosis, and other diseases—not to mention the high risk of kidnapping. I'd feel safe no matter where I was with Angie. Besides, she told me that our baby should be born in Africa because it's the cradle of civilization."

Mr. Pitt said he didn't care where Ms. Jolie, 30, wanted to have their baby, as long as she allows him to change its diapers as he does for her adopted daughter, Zahara, 1.

"You know what they say about the hand that rocks the cradle," said Mr. Pitt.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 09:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

These Brad/Angelina stories are getting more stupid by the day.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 09:36 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

Quote:
I asked her if she would at least give me a haircut like the one she gives Maddie. I want her to love me the way she loves him."
Is it just me or does anyone else find this (alleged) statement just a little bit scary/sick? The guy appears to have gone off the deep end much like Tom Cruise, all in the name of love. Both Tom and Brad are going to go down in flames in the end.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 09:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

IF these comments by Brad are true, then he is indeed pussy-whipped without a backbone and waaaaaay too soft for my taste.

So I guess they're NOT having the baby in France, as per her mom's wishes!?
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Old April 16th, 2006, 09:48 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

I don't believe a word of it.....all crap, like this 'baby' that Katie is allegedly pregnant with. RIGHT.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 09:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

I believe this is a spoof. (At least I hope!)
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Old April 16th, 2006, 10:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

I call bull@#%!
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Old April 16th, 2006, 10:42 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

Please stop posting fake articles in the gossip section. This story is from Pugbus, and it's satire.

Post them in Miscellaneous if you must post them.
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Old April 16th, 2006, 10:43 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

Are you people just off the turnip truck?

Where do you get this stuff, Jen?
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Old April 16th, 2006, 11:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

I don't know how anyone can believe ANY of the stories in the gossip section. I don't know how anyone can entertain the thought of any of these stories!

Unless Brad or Angelina tell me something themselves- or any celebrity, for that matter - I'm not going to believe it.
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Old April 17th, 2006, 12:40 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

of course it's a spoof, although a very good one!
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Old April 17th, 2006, 12:56 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Her Bitch

total satire. it reads like an Onion article.
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