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Thread: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

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    Default Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents
    By Chip Hilton
    Mar 20, 2006, 09:22 CERNOBBIO, Italy - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did not show up in this tiny northern Italian village to get married over the weekend; but if they had, they would not have made an impression on Arnaldo Bonpensiero, senior desk clerk at the Hotel Miralago.

    "You call them movie stars? I call them peasants," said Mr. Bonpensiero, 63, pretending to spit a mouthful of wine on the floor of Trattoria La Vignetta.

    "Marcello Mastroianni, Sophia Loren—
    now that's a movie star. Dignified, classy, always well dressed. Not like this Pitt mortadella and his puttana," said Bonpensiero, using the Italian words for "loser" and "whore."

    "You ever see Marcello arriving at an airport in a knitted cap wearing blue jeans and carrying a diaper bag? What a cafone, this Pitt."

    "Effe," spat Mr. Bonpensiero's friend Primo Cifaretto, 61, using the first letter of effemminato as shorthand for "a passive homosexual."

    The two friends were equally unimpressed with Angelina Jolie.

    "We have a saying in our country," said Mr. Cifaretto. "'She would [sleep with] a snake if she wanted his pile of rocks.'"

    Mr. Bonpenserio also thought it was wrong that Mr. Pitt divorced Jennifer Aniston because he was having an affair with Ms. Jolie.

    "A real man would never do that," said Mr. Bonpensiero. "We have a saying in our country: 'A mistress is for afternoons; a marriage is forever.'"

    "What a ruffiano, that Brad Pitt," added Mr. Cifaretto. "Marcello had plenty lovers, yet he was married to the same woman for forty-
    eight years. Both his mistress, Catherine Deneuve, and his wife, Flora, were at his bedside when he died. Do you think Jennifer Aniston will even send flowers when Brad Pitt dies?"


    Source: pugbus.net
    Last edited by muchlove; March 21st, 2006 at 10:05 PM.

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    Elite Member Voodoo Child's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie and Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Omg . This guy has sealed his fate. He is going to have strips pulled off him from the locals on here!!!!!!

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie and Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Oh come on, this article is a joke
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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    Elite Member Voodoo Child's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie and Fail to Impress Local Residents

    There is never any joking on this subject.

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    Default Re: Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie and Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Honestly, I'm sure this suits Brad and Ange fine. I truly don't think they're trying to impress anyone. They're probably happy to be in a place where they don't make an impression. That's probably where they'll end up married - far away from the media circus.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! ediebrooks's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie and Fail to Impress Local Residents

    It would be pitiful if they were actually trying to impress someone.

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    Elite Member Voodoo Child's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie and Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Now I have that Shania Twain song in stuck in my head *That Don't Impress Me Much!*

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    Default Re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

    I didn't care for that stuff the man he said about staying married and also having a long-time mistress. But I thought the other comments he made were interesting.

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    Elite Member muchlove's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Isn't it pretty clear that the article is just a joke?

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    Elite Member CherryDarling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents



    This is funny.
    Mischief. Mayhem. Tattoos. Soap.

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    Mistress of Dick All Elvira's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Well I won’t say where this article came from, since the last time I did it was
    implied that I was a party pooper.
    Scariest Halloween mask ever > > >

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    Elite Member moomies's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Not like this Pitt mortadella and his puttana," said Bonpensiero, using the Italian words for "loser" and "whore."
    "You ever see Marcello arriving at an airport in a knitted cap wearing blue jeans and carrying a diaper bag? What a cafone, this Pitt."

    I appreciate his honest criticism. Yay, I now know a couple of swear words in Italian.

    If you think it's crazy, you ain't seen a thing. Just wait until we're goin down in flames.

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    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

    This was the funniest thing I ever read on this forum

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    Elite Member muchlove's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Well, this is from pugbus, which is purely a satire site, so I moved this to Miscellaneous. Try not to post fake articles in the gossip section, guys.

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    Elite Member Voodoo Child's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Fail to Impress Local Residents

    Ahh poo it gets the best laughs though!

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