Nicole Brown Simpson's letter to O.J. Simpson

[Chalet]

Nicole Brown Simpson's letter to O.J. Simpson

(This letter was introduced in Simpson's civil trial)

Text of undated letter from Nicole Brown Simpson to O.J. Simpson. Simpson testified he never received the letter.

O.J. --
I think I have to put this all in a letter. Alot of years ago I used to do much better in a letter, I'm gonna try it again now.

I'd like you to keep this letter if we split, so that you'll always know why we split. I'd also like you to keep it if we stay together, as a reminder.

Right now I am so angry! If I didn't know that the courts would take Sydney & Justin away from me if I did this I would (expletive) every guy including some that you know just to let you know how it feels.

I wish someone could explain all this to me. I see our marriage as a huge mistake & you don't.

I knew what went on in our relationship before we got married. I knew after 6 years that all the things I thought were going on -- were! All the things I gave in to -- all the "I'm sorry for thinking that" "I'm sorry for not believing you" -- "I'm sorry for not trusting you."

I made up with you all the time & even took the blame many times for your cheating. I know this took place because we fought about it alot & even discussed it before we got married with my family & a minister.

OK before the marriage I lived with it & dealt with (illegible) mainly because you finally said that we weren't married at the time.

I assumed that your recurring nasty attitude & mean streak was to cover up your cheating & a general disrespect for women & a lack of manners!

I remember a long time ago a girlfriend of yours wrote you a letter -- she said well you aren't married yet so let's get together. Even she had the same idea of marriage as me. She believed that when you marry you wouldn't be going out anymore -- adultery is a very important thing to many people.

It's one of the 1st 10 things I learned at Sunday school. You said it (illegible) some things you learn at school stick! And the 10 Comandments did!

I wanted to be a wonderful wife!

I believed you that it would finally be "you & me against the world" -- that people would be envious or in awe of us because we stuck through it & finally became one a real couple.

I let my guard down -- I thought it was finally gonna be you & me -- you wanted a baby (so you said) & I wanted a baby -- then with each pound you were terrible. You gave me dirty looks looks of disgust -- said mean things to me at times about my appearance walked out on me & lied to me.

I remember one day my mom said "he actually thinks you can have a baby & not get fat."

I gained 10 to 15 lbs more that I should have with Sydney. Well that's by the book -- Most women gain twice that. It's not like it was that much -- but you made me feel so ugly! I've battled 10 lbs up & down the scale since I was 15 -- It was no more X-tra weight than was normal for me to be up -- I believe my mom -- you thought a baby weighs 7 lbs & the woman should gain 7 lbs. I'd like to finally tell you that that's not the way it is -- And had you read those books I got you on pregnancy you may have known that.

Talk about feeling alone ....

In between Sydney & justin you say my clothes bothered you -- that my shoes were on the floor that I bugged you -- Wow that's so terrible! Try I had a low self esteem because since we got married I felt like the paragraph above.

There was also that time before Justin & after few months Sydney, I felt really good about how I got back into shape and we made out. You beat the holy hell out of me & we lied at the X-ray lab & said I fell off a bike ... Remember!??
Great for my self esteem.

There are a number of other instances that I could talk about that made my marriage so wonderful ... like the televised Clipper game & going to (illegible) before the game & your 40th birthday party & the week leading up to it. But I don't like talking about the past It depressed me.
Then came the pregnancy with Justin & oh how wonderful you treated me again -- I remember swearing to God & myself that under no circumstances would I let you be in that delivery room.

I hated you so much.

And since Justin birth & the mad New Years Eve beat up.
I just don't see how our stories compare -- I was so bad because I wore sweats & left shoes around & didn't keep a perfect house or comb my hair the way you liked it -- or had dinner ready at the precise moment you walked through the door or that I just plain got on your nerves sometimes.

I just don't see how that compares to infidelity, wife beating verbal abuse --

I just don't think everybody goes through this --
And if I wanted to hurt you or had it in me to be anything like the person you are -- I would have done so after the (illegible) incident. But I didn't even do it then. I called the cops to save my life whether you believe it or not. But I didn't pursue anything after that -- I didn't prosecute, I didn't call the press & I didn't make a big charade out of it. I waited for it to die down and asked for it to. But I've never loved you since or been the same.

It made me take a look at my life with you -- my wonderful life with the superstar that wonderful man, O.J. Simpson the father of my kids -- that husband of that terribly insecure (illegible) -- the girl with no self esteem (illegible) of worth -- she must be (illegible) those things to with a guy like that.

It certainly doesn't take a strong person to be with a guy like that and certainly no one would be envious of that life.
I agree after we married things changed -- we couldn't have house fulls of people like I used to have over & barbque for, because I had other responsabilities. I didn't want to go to alot of events & I'd back down at the last minute on fuctions & trips I admit I'm sorry --

I just believe that a relationship is based on trust -- and the last time I trusted you was at our wedding ceremony. it's just so hard for me to trust you again. Even though you say you're a different guy. That O.J. Simpson guy brought me alot of pain heatache -- I tried so hard with him -- I wanted so to be a good wife. But he never gave me a chance.

[Brookie]

So sad - why in the hell do you stay around for that? You know before you marry the guy that he's nothing but a cheating scuzzbucket ho-monger and you go through with it anyway? She must have had low esteem to stick around as long as she did. It's amazing what people tolerate.

[qwerty]

Clearly, a woman with no self esteem and I'm sure he manipulated her into thinking that she couldn't do any better and that his cheating was all her fault. Plus with his violent temper, I would think she'd be scared to leave him.

However, there's a part of me that thinks she also stuck it out for the money as well as the "prestige" of being with a famous man, both of which could be seen as self esteem boosters.

[january]

Sad. That last sentence is chilling. He never even gave her a chance to LIVE, that bastard. I can't even think about it now without immense anger - what a life to have to live. We can talk about her foolishness, her naivete, her idiocy to stay with someone like O.J. - but in the end it's all for nothing because for it she paid the ultimate price, she paid with her life.

[HWBL]

So sad - why in the hell do you stay around for that? You know before you marry the guy that he's nothing but a cheating scuzzbucket ho-monger and you go through with it anyway? She must have had low esteem to stick around as long as she did. It's amazing what people tolerate.

Clearly, a woman with no self esteem and I'm sure he manipulated her into thinking that she couldn't do any better and that his cheating was all her fault. Plus with his violent temper, I would think she'd be scared to leave him.

However, there's a part of me that thinks she also stuck it out for the money as well as the "prestige" of being with a famous man, both of which could be seen as self esteem boosters.

I think it came out in the trial, possibly during the questioning of her sister,
that O.J. had paid for many things for the Brown family. I think he paid for
the sister's education, some business and house matters for the parents.

Not defending him, but one thing that always stuck by me from the testimony
of her sister, the cross-examination, was that OJ, Nicole, sister Denise and
a date had been out together and returned to OJ & Nicole's house. They'd
all had drinks during dinner and had (a few?) more at the house afterwards.
Then the sister started calling OJ names and (rightfully) blaming him for
stuff in the presence of the date and OJ then ordered and later grabbed
her & date out because he didn't accept being called names in his own
house. I remembered that part because I did think I'd probably get people,
who called me names in my own house, the hell out of there, too.

Denise was very incensed that he had thrown her out and thought it was
a good example of showing what an abusive guy he is. I thought it was
a poor example, because most people would not stand for being called
names on their own property.

But yeah, many people (especially in cases of public figures, celebs) do
go ahead and marry anyway, despite knowing the obvious shortcomings
of their future spouse, because of monetary and celebrity status.
Another one of those that comes to mind is Morticia Beaulieu with Elvis
Presley: she even started out as "the other woman"!

[Serendipity]

Clearly, a woman with no self esteem and I'm sure he manipulated her into thinking that she couldn't do any better and that his cheating was all her fault. Plus with his violent temper, I would think she'd be scared to leave him.

However, there's a part of me that thinks she also stuck it out for the money as well as the "prestige" of being with a famous man, both of which could be seen as self esteem boosters.

But didn't she eventually leave him? And look what happened. I can see how some people are afraid to leave a violent freak of nature. Either way, you're potentially screwed.

[FashionVictim]

That poor, poor woman.

[*DIVA!]

My God, why did she marry? Didn't she know of the first wife and all her troubles with OJ's cheating?

[maryk]

WOw that is chilling hte courage it must have taken her to write that.

[faithanne]

But didn't she eventually leave him? And look what happened. I can see how some people are afraid to leave a violent freak of nature. Either way, you're potentially screwed.

Yeah I thought they were separated and she was murdered outside her own place? Even if she had stayed with him there's still a chance he'd lose it and beat her into a coma.

[bellini]

My God, why did she marry? Didn't she know of the first wife and all her troubles with OJ's cheating?

I think she did know. She was really young when she first met OJ, right out of highshool. Then they dated for a long time before they got married, if I remember correctly almost ten years. So he might have been showing a different face all that time.

Yeah I thought they were separated and she was murdered outside her own place? Even if she had stayed with him there's still a chance he'd lose it and beat her into a coma.

From what I've read, he was one of those guys who didn't really want her but didn't want anyone else to have her either.

[*DIVA!]

I think she did know. She was really young when she first met OJ, right out of highshool. Then they dated for a long time before they got married, if I remember correctly almost ten years. So he might have been showing a different face all that time.



From what I've read, he was one of those guys who didn't really want her but didn't want anyone else to have her either.

Nicole and OJ married in 1985, so if they dated for 10 years then he was with her while he was still with his wife who he divorced in 1980 after their youngest son drowned.

[rollo]

It's very sad to read about all the sexism and her worry about not being the perfect wife. That marriage seemed so very one-sided and still the b- had to finish her off.

[bellini]

Nicole and OJ married in 1985, so if they dated for 10 years then he was with her while he was still with his wife who he divorced in 1980 after their youngest son drowned.

Yes I've read that they began dating while he was still married.

[Fly_On_TheWall]

I read she was 18 when they met. Such a sat letter.