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Thread: Dustin Diamond's lame memoir

  1. #1
    Elite Member Moongirl's Avatar
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    Red face Dustin Diamond's lame memoir

    Lamest Saved by the Bell Tell-All Ever - E! Online

    Lamest Saved by the Bell Tell-All Ever
    Today 10:40 AM PDT


    NBC

    This isn't exactly the best week to come out with a tell-all. There's just no way to compete with Mackenzie Phillips' dramabomb, but Dustin "Screech Powers" Diamond does his best.

    And honestly, even if there wasn't some '70s actress talking about her incestuous affair with her father all over the place, Diamond's Saved by the Bell tell-all, Behind the Bell, would still be a pretty big fail.

    Turns out the eternal Bayside High nerd was quite the outcast offscreen, too. In the Us Weekly preview of the book, Diamond speculates about a lot of things he thinks happened but never witnessed because no one wanted him around.

    A sampling:

    -"I could smell a certain 'smoke' wafting from the crack" of his fellow castmates' dressing rooms.

    -He accuses Mark-Paul Gosselaar (dreamy Zack Morris) of using steroids. "He suddenly exploded with manliness, loading 25 pounds of muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month."

    -Sometimes Tiffani Thiessen hung out in Mario Lopez's dressing room and other times Elizabeth Berkley would hand out in Gosselaar's room. The only one not hanging out was Screech.

    -Mario Lopez liked to hit on ladies.

    -This one time Tiffani had to wear a bathing suit for the show and she would walk "around with her hands casually shielding her ass." So producers were like, "No more junk food on set," and then Diamond didn't have anything to snack on. It was rough.

    -Lark Voorhies, who played Lisa Turtle, "all of the sudden, she didn't want to be near men." Diamond took that to mean she was in an abusive relationship. He has no idea if this is true, though.

    -Also, Diamond would like to add Fred Savage is "a douche nozzle"; Neil Patrick Harris "was an a--hole"; Tori Spelling had "negative [size] boobs"; Denise Richards was "just another notch on Mario's bedpost."

    And that is seriously all the juicy stuff he's got—a bunch of name-calling and speculation based on all these times he wasn't allowed to hang out. Pretty petty and pathetic, but we should have seen this coming.


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    News – Dustin Diamond Alleges Hook Ups, Pot Smoking on Saved By the Bell Set – Movies, TV & Music – UsMagazine.com
    Exclusive: Dustin Diamond Alleges Hook Ups, Pot Smoking on Saved By the Bell Set
    Thursday – September 24, 2009 – 9:55am

    The new Us Weekly (on newsstands now) has a sneak peek at Dustin Diamond's shocking tell-all, Behind the Bell, which claims drug use and sex were rampant on the set of the hit NBC Saturday-morning sitcom Saved By the Bell.

    "I could smell a certain 'smoke,' wafting from from the crack" underneath his castmates' dressing rooms, says Diamond, 32, who played the dork Screech.

    He also alleges costar Mark Paul Gosselaar — who played popular Zack Morris — used steroids before production started on 1994's short-lived Saved by the Bell: The College Years.

    "He suddenly exploded with manliness, loading 25 pounds of muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month," says Diamond, who is not in touch with any of his costars. (Gosselaar, 35, has dismissed his costar's so-called revelations to Us: "We weren't in rehab and Mr. Belding wasn't my crack dealer.” His rep had no comment.)

    Diamond — who filed for bankruptcy in 2001 and had his own sex tape released in 2006 — goes on to say his costars hooked up off-camera.

    "If Kelly [Tiffani Thiessen] was interested in Slater [Mario Lopez] one week, then backstage there was a lot going between them in Mario [Lopez]'s room," he tells the new Us Weekly. "Then, if Jessie [Elizabeth Berkley] kisses Zack, then you know Elizabeth Berkley is going in Mark-Paul's room."

  2. #2
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    You know your memoir is bad when the highlights are about other people.

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    Elite Member Nightdragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kingcap72 View Post
    You know your memoir is bad when the highlights are about other people.
    So very true
    Act normal and the crowd will accept you. Act deranged and they will make you their leader

  4. #4
    Elite Member C_is_for_Cookie's Avatar
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    Mario Lopez liked to hit on ladies.
    I'm shocked!! Shocked, I'm telling you.

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    Elite Member Nightdragon's Avatar
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    Act normal and the crowd will accept you. Act deranged and they will make you their leader

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    Silver Member cockfosters's Avatar
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    If this were 1992, I'd call him a gaylord. But it's not so I'll echo what the rest of the blogosphere says- LAMEST MEMOIR EVAR.
    Enjoy the liquor and delicatessen.

  7. #7
    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Celebrity deathwatch.

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