True love lasts a year

[MaryJane]

They say true love lasts a lifetime.
But according to scientists, that intoxicating head-spinning feeling that comes when you first clap eyes on the love of your life does not last quite that long.

In fact, they say the chemical in the brain which is responsible for the first flush of romance wears off after just 12 months.

The researchers found the effect was the same even among couples who were still passionately in love. They studied a group of men and women aged 18 to 31, some of whom had just fallen in love, some of whom were in long-term relationships and others who were single.

Among those in the first throes of passion, levels of a protein called Nerve Growth Factor - which causes those telltale palpitations, sweaty palms and butterflies - rocketed.

But in couples who had been together for a year or more, the levels had fallen back to that found in singletons.

Dr Enzo Emanuele, who led the study at the University of Pavia in Italy, said: "We have demonstrated for the first time that circulating levels of NGF are elevated among subjects in love, suggesting an important role for this molecule in the social chemistry of human beings.

"Potential participants are required to be truly, deeply and madly in love. The raised NGF levels when falling in love could be related to specific emotions typically associated with intense earlystage romantic love, such as emotional dependency and euphoria.

"The specificity of NGF increase during early-stage love seems to suggest that it could be involved in the formation of novel bonds, whereas it does not appear to play a major role in their maintenance."

Researchers studied volunteers whose relationships had begun within six months.

They were asked to spend at least four hours a day thinking about their partner.

Tests showed that both men and women who had recently fallen in love had very high levels of NGF - 227 units, compared with 123 units recorded in those in long-standing relationships.

Those who reported the most intense feelings also had the highest NGF levels.

But when researchers revisited couples from the 'in love' group who were still in the same relationship more than a year later, they found that levels of NGF had declined to the same as those who were single or in a long-term relationship.

Until now, research on the chemical has focused on its impact on the nervous system and its relationship with conditions such as Alzheimer's disease. Dr Emanuele and his team are believed to be the first to show a link between NGF and love. But there is hope for romantics yet. The team believe that NGF plays an important part in the release of another chemical responsible for social bonding.

So while the passion dies, the same chemical stimulates companionship essential in any long-term relationship.

The report, published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology, concludes: "Given the complexity of the sentiment of romantic love and its capacity to exhilarate, arouse, disturb and influence so profoundly our behaviour, further investigations on the neurochemistry and neuroendocrinology of this unique emotional state are warranted."

From dailymail.co.uk

[buttmunch]

I agree. I look at my husband some days and feel like Kathleen Turner in War of the Roses.

[Barbara]

It's a common theory, I guess there is some truth in it.

A relationship is like a new being formed by the two people who are in it: it grows, it matures... sometimes it dies. I've heard countless people tell me about the 1 year crisis, 3 years crisis, 7 years crisis... not sure what to make of it. I've been with BF for two years now and we sure had a rough time after one year but it was "all" his fault, nothing to do with a natural way of things

It reminds me of French writer Frédéric Beigbeder's witty book, "L'amour dure trois ans" (Love lasts 3 years)... in the end you discover that in fact it can last longer than that

[A*O]

I think if you are in a LTR you quickly learn there is a difference between being In Love and Loving someone. A few couples manage to maintain that 'can't keep our hands off each other' stuff for years and years, but the rest of us settle into the comfort zone of being our partner's best friend, companion, whatever. And in the long term, that's how most relationships survive IMO. Anyone who seriously expects the same level of passion and intensity they experienced when they were newlyweds is naive and unrealistic. But that does not mean the relationship is doomed - you just move into a different comfort zone.

[Tiara]

I don't think its true, me and my bf have been together almost 2 years and I still feel exactly the same about him as I did when we first met, but better because I appreciate him as a person even more now.

I thought things were going good, steady and normal for a relationship, not boring but not too exciting, then he went away for the weekend and I couldn't believe how much I missed him! I went on a night out with some girlfriends and ended up sat texting him most of the night coz I missed him!

[Barbara]

^^ awwwwwww

I think I'm still "in love" because I'm still acting so silly now and then
But I also think I may be entering the phase where I "really" love my BF because now I know most of his (numerous) faults and I still want to be with him like...forever *sigh*

[LynnieD]

A year eh? Yea.....sounds about right.

[Tiara]

Originally Posted by Barbara

^^ awwwwwww

I think I'm still "in love" because I'm still acting so silly now and then
But I also think I may be entering the phase where I "really" love my BF because now I know most of his (numerous) faults and I still want to be with him like...forever *sigh*

I totally know what you mean!! Some of my ex's habbits were laughing at stupid things that weren't even funny and it use to piss me off so much I felt like punching him! But my bf now has so many little annoying habbits but because I love him they don't bother me, I actually find them cute! But I can't let him know that or he'll just do them even more!!!

[simplekindoflovely]

That sounds about right to me.

[phishtickie]

Originally Posted by Barbara

^^ awwwwwww

I think I'm still "in love" because I'm still acting so silly now and then
But I also think I may be entering the phase where I "really" love my BF because now I know most of his (numerous) faults and I still want to be with him like...forever *sigh*

I dont think that its true, me and the fiance have been together over 4 years now and I still seek him out when we are in a crowded place, and I still get the same feeling in the stomach when we look at each other from afar Its just that now we know each other inside and out, and thats what a true relationship is about.

[Tiara]

Originally Posted by phishtickie

I dont think that its true, me and the fiance have been together over 4 years now and I still seek him out when we are in a crowded place, and I still get the same feeling in the stomach when we look at each other from afar Its just that now we know each other inside and out, and thats what a true relationship is about.

Oh your making me all loved up now, I might go and attck my bf!!!

[Algernon]

AO and Frank, I'm on the same page as you guys. I've been with my husband for 8 years, and we love each other. However we do not feel or behave the same way we did for the first few years. I actually like how we are now the best. He's my best friend, and I'm his, no pretensions, secrets, awkwardness...none of it. We are simply each other's ultimate companions.

Catch me on a day he did something really assinine and I may not be so nice.

[Heather007]

I've been married for five years (with him for six) and I'm still madly in love with him! Not to say I don't want to kill him and get rich on insurance money at times, but I am crazy about him. I love him unconditionally (unless he cheats on me, then he dies) and I'm in love with him. I think he feels the same about me... At least, I hope so. Otherwise, I'm psycho.

Originally Posted by Algernon

AO and Frank, I'm on the same page as you guys. I've been with my husband for 8 years, and we love each other. However we do not feel or behave the same way we did for the first few years. I actually like how we are now the best. He's my best friend, and I'm his, no pretensions, secrets, awkwardness...none of it. We are simply each other's ultimate companions.

Catch me on a day he did something really assinine and I may not be so nice.

Oh, but yah- that too! ^^ It's not the same as it used to be and I like our relationship now more, but I still get butterflies when I see him.

Please don't double post

[phishtickie]

Originally Posted by Frank_Rizzo

Not to rain on anybody's parade, but I think age plays a lot into this too. Tiara, I know you're young... Barbara and Phish, how old are you? (Just want to test my theory).

I am 25 and the fiance is 33... But I think that its also an important factor that we have been together more than 4 years, we have lived together for about half that time (and you know what that usually does to people) and we are now engaged, so the prospect of spending the rest of our lives together looms threateningly.. But i still think we have a special kind of understanding between us that makes everything interesting. And thats why we are engaged anyway.

[Luna]

Originally Posted by buttmunch

I agree. I look at my husband some days and feel like Kathleen Turner in War of the Roses.

OMG! Me too!