Who needs celebrities when u have me.

EvilMonkey · October 12th, 2006, 11:40 AM

Ok

Im in a real mess, this mess makes PH look like pre-school.

Your favourite monkey is madly in love.

even PH pales in comparison.

but.....

EM's love has gone away. To visit her mum and have a holiday.

EM's love is a russian girl. She lights up my world.

However. She has gone home, her mother has told her that if she hasnt got everything ( house, children on the way etc ) dont waste her time.

The monkey couldnt go with her as he has work commitments and has put all his spare money into something else.

Now he faces a very confused partner, she thinks thats yours truly will not measure up. Yours truly hasnt been able to go with her on her trip etc.

Her mother says dont waste her time.

What she doesnt know is that your EM has been saving up, and not spending on holidays. So he cant be there with her. Instead he has put all he has into a ring. SHe doesnt know that, I wanted it to be something special, a surprise.

Now, not knowing this, she has decided to have a time out - no contact to re-think her position.

This little monkey has put all he has into a bigger picture, but she isnt seeing it.

She is having a no communication while she thinks things through whilst the monkey has set in motion his plan to surprise her on her 30th with a proposal.

Right now people Im thinking Im staring down the barrell of a gun, and I really dont know whats going to happen.

Your EM is truly scared.

Algernon · October 12th, 2006, 11:46 AM

So from what I gather, she went away to visit mom and suddenly is doing a 180? I don't get it. What would her mother even know about you to try to poison her against you? Something about don't waste time if there is no house or children on the way? Did she want her daughter to be knocked up or something?

I feel the pain in your post, but I'm not fully following wth happened.

LynnieD · October 12th, 2006, 12:59 PM

Isn't this the 12th time you've been madly in love????

moomies · October 12th, 2006, 01:56 PM

I know someone who went through a very similar situation and I'd advise to just forget about this woman and move on... I know it sounds harsh and it will be hard (if you choose to take this path) but you can DO IT.

Actually I know more than one man who was in this kinda dilemma.

p.s. perhaps you should clarify who PH is (I know who but) cuz some ppl might think you and PurpleHaze were an item!

**Tati** · October 12th, 2006, 03:47 PM

I'm just going by the start date of GR, but haven't you two been together less than a year? I'm not saying it's necessarily rushed on your part, but it seems a little extreme for her mother to be assuming there's no future.

And what's with the "no communication" thing from her side? That's not how you have a mature relationship. That's a game. "Re-thinking her position"? Is this love or a business merger? If she's wondering if there's a future, she should just ask you, and you can tell her what you've told us.

enctpc · October 12th, 2006, 03:59 PM

Not knowing PH's side of things, it does sound as though she is playing games. It does sound as though she wants the big committment and this is her way of pushing you into it, not realising you were headed that way. I agree with Tati, telling her what you have planned will let her know where you stand.. Hope it works out for you

A*O · October 12th, 2006, 04:19 PM

Oh Monkey - Oh dear......... I'm assuming this woman's mother is the stereotypical ambitious Russian who wants her daughter to marry 'up' and you just don't cut it in her opinion? In that case I can guarantee the mother is putting ALL kinds of pressure on your beloved to call it all off and find herself a rich sugardaddy. She probably has a drug dealing Russian mafia gangster in mind.

The only person who can decide the outcome here is your girlfriend. If she wants to be with you then no amount of maternal nagging is going to make her change her mind. If she's looking for an 'out' then she can blame momma. Or she is just trifling with you (sorry, but these Russian girls do have a bit of a reputation for this kind of thing).

Either way, now is NOT the time to be thinking about marriage. Are you really planning to spend the rest of your life with a woman who you think might be swayed by some impressive bling?

Just take a step back and let her call the shots.

AliceInWonderland · October 12th, 2006, 07:06 PM

DAMN EM YOU GO THROUGH WOMEN LIKE I GO THROUGH STALKING-VICTIMS!

who's it gonna be next week?! some other Ho but this time from Bulgaria!?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnieD

Isn't this the 12th time you've been madly in love????

______________

EvilMonkey · October 12th, 2006, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A*O

Oh Monkey - Oh dear......... I'm assuming this woman's mother is the stereotypical ambitious Russian who wants her daughter to marry 'up' and you just don't cut it in her opinion? In that case I can guarantee the mother is putting ALL kinds of pressure on your beloved to call it all off and find herself a rich sugardaddy. She probably has a drug dealing Russian mafia gangster in mind.

Thats about it. Plus at her age she is a old spinster from a russian POV. Yes mama has poisoned her head, as has catching up with all her schoolfriends - married with multiple kids already.

She personally is pissy at me for not being on holiday with her, which is my point about the money being elsewhere - plus I need to work to prepare to pay for things if this moves forward.

Other than this wierd stuff happening everything is great about her. Im happy to settle doiwn with her <---(theres a strange thing for yours truly to say ) She turns 30 in just over a week and that was when I was going to pop the q. Now Im thinking twice.

She wants ( in that russian way ) to start popping out kids - she was drunk a few nights before she left and was demanding to know when I was going to knock her up. Im 32 now and have all my money tied up in an investment property as a family trust - I will be doing that up and using my share of the profits to get my own place. So way I see it now is good for me to take the next step. We would have 6 months to deal with preparations and then a holiday ( after all Ill be working 7 days a week for a few months!! ) then a place of my own to come back to. Thats a secure environment then and thats what I feel is the precursor to thinking family.

I thought I was being sensible myself.

As one of my friends said its ironic that she is was just about to get what she wanted but now has unknowingly started losing it. I had all the wheels in motion to surprise her for her birthday. Her best freinds husband is the jeweller thats making the ring - so thats a security risk to my plan, also means if I withdraw then it will be noticed.

I thought it was a pretty nice plan.

So now Im thinking I am going to have to go shopping for a different bday present!

A*O · October 12th, 2006, 09:18 PM

Is the potential MIL From Hell still in Russia? Not for long if you marry her daughter when I guarantee she'll want to come and live with you both - forever. I really think you need to put your cards on the table with your girlfriend. Explain exactly what your Plan is/was and how she features as an important part of it. It's really then up to her whether she decides to defy mama and make a life with you, or go back home to look after mama in her old age (maybe the MILs agenda anyway?). The ring is irrelevant at this stage. I'm sure she is being given all kinds of aggro, but you've made your decision. It's now up to her whether she wants In or Out.

EvilMonkey · October 12th, 2006, 09:56 PM

Ive considered that too. I agree she will certainly be a visitor for extended periods at least. Her younger sister is still living with her though so that may keep her in Russia.

A*O · October 13th, 2006, 01:38 AM

Or sister will come too. Once Mrs Evil gets her Aussie residency by marrying a local the floodgates could open (not saying that's why she'd marry you, but her family won't knock back the chance of leaving a shitty life in Russia for the sunshine and blue skies here will they).

I really think you have to put aside any romantic notions of a big surprise proposal and tell her exactly what you have in mind for your future. When she has all the facts she can make an informed decision (and I hope she tells her mother to fuck off).

sweetrebel · October 13th, 2006, 12:35 PM

Let her take her time and decide. If she is this easily swayed, perhaps she is truly not sure about the relationship. Just because she asked you whilst drunk when you two knock her up doesn't mean she is ready for marriage and the whole shebang.
I know that no one can put a time limit on when you fall in love. I knew within 3 days of meeting my husband that I loved him...but make sure you love HER and not the IDEA OF HER. Make sure that you aren't in love with the idea of marriage...Good luck, monkey, I wish you nothing but the best

Grimmlok · October 13th, 2006, 02:02 PM

If the possibly soon to be mrs. monkey is so dim that she hangs on momma's every word, is this something you want to invite into your life?

You're going to have that controlling babushka dictating how you live.

Palermo · October 13th, 2006, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grimmlok

If the possibly soon to be mrs. monkey is so dim that she hangs on momma's every word, is this something you want to invite into your life?

You're going to have that controlling babushka dictating how you live.

not to the dilemma, just to Grim's comment

There should only be two people in a relationship, not three