How do you get over a love/major crush?

AliceInWonderland · May 19th, 2006, 11:23 PM

I keep obsessing about the one that got away and I can't stand it anymore! I know that my feelings for him will go away once I meet the next one/obsession like it does everytime I fall for one, but until then I need to get over him NOW! b/c its sickening me and driving me crazy!

And who knows when i'll meet the next one b/c I don't get out and meet new losers very often so I'm kinda screwed in the meantime...

DirtyPool · May 19th, 2006, 11:30 PM

"The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one" -unknown

Grimmlok · May 19th, 2006, 11:32 PM

"The best way to get over a man is to kill him, and hide his remains under a bridge." - Grimmlok

Lobelia · May 19th, 2006, 11:35 PM

Oh gawd, boy am I ever the wrong one to ask this question. I've been obsessing for years........It's pathetic. Just gotta keep trying to change those brain channels or some such nonsense.

AliceInWonderland · May 20th, 2006, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grimmlok

"The best way to get over a man is to kill him, and hide his remains under a bridge." - Grimmlok

I was thinking off a cliff in San Pedro! by the time his remains wash up on shore; they'll be totally unidentifiable!

but since he's expecting a baby w/ someone; i woudn't do that...

Wonderwoman · May 20th, 2006, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AliceInWonderland

I keep obsessing about the one that got away and I can't stand it anymore! I know that my feelings for him will go away once I meet the next one/obsession like it does everytime I fall for one, but until then I need to get over him NOW! b/c its sickening me and driving me crazy!

And who knows when i'll meet the next one b/c I don't get out and meet new losers very often so I'm kinda screwed in the meantime...

I think the only reason you are thinking of the "one" is because you are not with someone you are crazy about now. If you were meant to be with the "one", you would be. When you find the true "one", you will feel you knew him your entire life.

Take some advise from someone who has had her fair share of wrong ones and now has "the one". Get out there and enjoy yourself. Refuse to be obsessed with a man that was not smart enough to realize how wonderful you are and did not have the sense to commit to you forever.

ralphycnan · May 20th, 2006, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grimmlok

"The best way to get over a man is to kill him, and hide his remains under a bridge." - Grimmlok

Awesome.

Barbara · May 20th, 2006, 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirtyPool

"The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one" -unknown

Worked for me

A*O · May 20th, 2006, 06:55 AM

I still think about The One Who Got Away but don't obsess about him. In many ways I'm glad it didn't work out because I know we would have ended up hating each other. So I focus on the happy memories (and the GREAT sex!) and now understand that my life and his took different paths for a reason. I firmly believe that if you are destined to be together it will happen.

Raspberry gashes · May 20th, 2006, 01:45 PM

TIME. Eventually you'll look back and wonder what it was you were really obsessing about. Its weird. I've been there and done that hundreds of times.
Plus, not seeing him helps.

And my Dad told me once that if you want to see a guy in a more unattractive light, imagine him taking a shit on the toilet. That works too!

LynnieD · May 20th, 2006, 01:57 PM

Booze helps.

Talking w/friends, join some clubs or volunteer or something to take your mind of things. And maybe you could meet some new people too.
And time.

AliceInWonderland · May 20th, 2006, 03:06 PM

Quote:

if you want to see a guy in a more unattractive light, imagine him taking a shit on the toilet. That works too!

hahah good one ^ and thanks Wonderwoman and Lynnie 4 the great advice !

darksithbunny · May 20th, 2006, 03:54 PM

I think of the old ones. I don't think it ever really goes away and I think it is quite natural to think of them. It's not that I am not in love with my husband. Hell, I thought I still loved my 1st husband because I kept thinking of him so much but then I think of past boyfriends too, so it is my conclusion that you may always think of him/them, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Time well spent or time just spent. It's human nature.

**Tati** · May 20th, 2006, 04:56 PM

A lot of good advice in here. I will add though, that it can be much harder to get past someone if it ended ambiguously, or with a lack of closure, much as I dislike that word. Or if it was unrequited to begin with.

For me, it's always been far easier to get over - or even become friends with - ex-boyfriends with whom the relationship was fully fleshed out and followed through to its natural conclusion. Whereas I still dwell quite strongly on the one that was just barely a fling, that ended without warning or any real reason. I didn't have the chance to fall fully in love with him, so the feelings aren't crushing - I've never even cried over him - but it's just such a big "what if?" that it is harder... well, maybe not harder exactly, but let's call it a longer process getting over him that it was my high school sweetheart.

I don't know if that's the case with you Alice, but if it is, I do sympathize, and I don't really have any advice to offer unfortunately. I'm still trying to figure that one out myself even though I'm now with the man of my dreams. Go figure. Some people just get under your skin I guess.

Barbara · May 20th, 2006, 05:06 PM

"What ifs" are the worst, there's a guy I went out with for a few weeks nearly ten years ago, there was something special between us but for some unknown other reason it really didn't work out. Last I heard of him (like 8 years ago) he was getting married and moving to London, and I hated it.