Would you forgive a cheating partner?

josietabitha · May 15th, 2006, 07:21 PM

If you were to be with the person you loved and found out they were cheating on you would you forgive them?

I know the first reaction to women and men are no way I would never.
Funny thing is that there are those people that would decide to give there loved ones another chance or more than one chance.

Why men and women cheat and say they love you and it would never happen again is what I'd like to know. Why cheat and not just break up with the person your with why hurt them? Thoughts...........

ralphycnan · May 15th, 2006, 08:51 PM

I don't think I could ever, I'd never be able to trust my husband again. I could not live with the fact that he chose to be with someone other than me, it would be in my head all the time. To me that would be the ultimate betrayal.

Raspberry gashes · May 15th, 2006, 09:00 PM

Alot of people who cheat do it because they think they'll get away with it. And when they don't, they're quick to say they still love the 'hurt' party.

It might sound silly, but I could only get over it if the woman was less attractive than me. If she was super gorgeous, I would never be able to forget it. It would make me more insecure. But a GREAT amount of trust would be lost either way.

A*O · May 15th, 2006, 09:02 PM

It depends on the circs. If it was a drunken One Night Stand I'd give him hell for a while and buy lots of revenge bling, but it wouldn't be enough to end the marriage even though I'd be absolutely furious. If it was serial cheating, or a longterm thing involving deceit, lies and careful planning then I'd probably kick him out. I've said this before and got into all kinds of strife, but I really do think there is such a thing as 'meaningless sex'. It's not an excuse, but men don't invest anywhere near as much emotional baggage into the act than women do. A one-off event isn't a deal breaker - serial infidelity is.

pacific breeze · May 15th, 2006, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A*O

It depends on the circs. If it was a drunken One Night Stand I'd give him hell for a while and buy lots of revenge bling, but it wouldn't be enough to end the marriage even though I'd be absolutely furious. If it was serial cheating, or a longterm thing involving deceit, lies and careful planning then I'd probably kick him out. I've said this before and got into all kinds of strife, but I really do think there is such a thing as 'meaningless sex'. It's not an excuse, but men don't invest anywhere near as much emotional baggage into the act than women do. A one-off event isn't a deal breaker - serial infidelity is.

I agree. When I was younger I would have said "kick him to the curb" for ANY indiscretion, but I now realize life isn't as simple as all that. I'm lucky in that I'm married to one of the most loyal, loving and patient guys on the planet. I doubt he'd ever even pull one-night stand as he rarely drinks, but if he did and I found out, I wouldn't be happy, but it wouldn't be the end of the relationship either.

MgMMD · May 15th, 2006, 09:34 PM

I think a one time indescrescion would be a Neiman Marcus bling fling for me. I would be CRUSHED but I would work at it. I would also make everyone involved's life a living hell for a while.
Repeated cheating...murder.

Wonderwoman · May 15th, 2006, 09:51 PM

No.

Tenaj · May 16th, 2006, 03:04 AM

I'd remove a particular part of their anatomy.

Tiara · May 16th, 2006, 03:07 AM

My first thought was to say Fuck No! And that probably would be my answer, I'd be absolutely devistated and I would definitely leave him. But I know I'd just miss him so much I'd want to be with him again, but theres just no way I could ever forgive and forget, I'd just have to be strong and not let him talk me round. He's a salesman so he's good at that!

Barbara · May 16th, 2006, 04:45 AM

I have no idea. It depends on the circumstances. I don't know if I could trust again (I'm a distrustful person to begin with...). I don't know and I pray I won't ever find myself in such a situation.

darksithbunny · May 16th, 2006, 05:42 AM

My 1st husband cheated on me and I left him. It wasn't so much the physical part that hurt me as much as the emotional cheating did. That was the part I could not get over and to this day, I forgive him BUT I couldn't forget. I did not want to led a life of "WHere are you going? WHere are you? Who you with? WHat time will you be home?" That's just how I would have been and who the hell wants to be on needles and pins all the time?

It took me years to finally found what hurt the most and just recently I was able to explain this to my family, who I think took the divorce harder than me, why I had to leave. They got it when I said "emotionally betrayed" and "the trust was completely broken".

bella · May 16th, 2006, 06:09 AM

Not even a chance.

Tiara · May 16th, 2006, 06:13 AM

You're so right darksith, I couldn't be with someone who cheated on me, I could never trust them again.

It's just when I think about it properly, I hate the thought of not being with my bf, I'd hate for us to split up, but if he cheated I know I couldn't stay with him. It's just really a horrible thing to even think about. I'm in a bad mood with him now!

darksithbunny · May 16th, 2006, 06:43 AM

The physical part does hurt, don't get me wrong but I can get over that one. It was just the all the lying and that they had the actual nerve to talk about me! To justify the cheating at that! How I was not tending to his needs, etc. I had just had a baby for Christ sake! The recovery was very hard and then I had Postpartum so badly, that I had to get on meds, and then I got severe IBS. I pretty much had a nervous breakdown.

They could have had sex all they wanted, I really didn't care, it was that he was telling her things that him and I shared! And she would call me and tell me this! Oh it was so hurtful. More than them having sex.

I do think highly of people who have gone through that and moved on but I just am not that kind of person.

Tiara, don't you just hate it when they put you in a bad mood?

Just want to slap them! It passes though, can't help but love em.

Tiara · May 16th, 2006, 07:07 AM

^^ Smae here KJ.

When my scum bag ex cheated on me, I was mostly hurt because I'd lost my virginity to him. We were together for a year and a half and I thought I loved him and I thought he felt the same.

But he went on a lads holiday and I stupidly trusted him. When I came back he showed me his photos and all his mates were joking that my bf had shagged this big fat ugly heffer on the pics. I just laughed because I assumed they were taking the piss as she was really awful looking. Then a few weeks later my "friend" who went out with one of bf's friends told me it was actually true. I felt sick more than anything because I felt like I'd just threw my virginity away, just like all my friends who had one night stands and stuff, my 'relationship' was no better than that.

Anywho, I got over it, took myself down to the G.U.M clinic to make sure the dirty bastard hadn't caught anything off the fat slag and given it to me, luckily we always used protection but you can never be too careful!