Dates From Hell?

UndercoverGator · October 19th, 2005, 10:42 AM

Come on. I know everyone's had one. I used to have a site where you could post all about your worst most horrible dates. Some of them were a hoot.

My most awful date occurred back when I was in college and working part time. I accepted a date with the UPS driver that used to come to my work place. First of all he was twenty minutes late picking me up for our date and I was less than impressed by that. He had all three of his kids by his ex in tow, something I was not expecting at all. They were all crying, disheveled and dirty. I had to ask him wtf was going on and he said that the ex showed up at his house drunken and vile just as he was getting ready to leave to pick me up, and after she discovered he was going on a date she dumped the kids on him. So I decided to make the best of it, we fetched my 2 year old from the sitters and we went out, us two and our four kids. We took the kids to McDonalds and then over to Chucky Cheeses to play video games and the like. No one was very happy with this, his kids kept sniveling and my daughter was confused. He kept apoligizing for everything. After skee ball and video games he decided to take us to a local ice cream parlor. Shortly after we pulled out of the Chucky Cheese parking lot his ex wife came screeching up behind us in her car, tailgating and honking and screeching obscenities at us. Once we got to the ice cream parlor she got very confrontational, calling me filthy names, etc, etc, etc before she started slapping my date and her kids cried harder... at that point I called a cab and left with my daughter. Much later that night my date called me back and apologized yet again, telling me that his ex was an alcoholic who'd not wanted the divorce. He said he really wanted to take me out again, without his kids or mine. I told him that while I was attracted to him and thought he was very sweet and nice I didn't have room in my life for the drama attached to his life. Up until the day I married he kept asking me for that second date.

pacific breeze · October 19th, 2005, 01:27 PM

Where to begin? I've had so many. I always used to say I was a psycho/geek magnet and that certainly applied to dating. No matter how carefully I screened potential suitors, they would almost always morph into dates from hell. There was one memorable blind date. I still get mad when I think about this.

This one couple I knew were tired of hearing me whine about being single so they set me up with a lawyer friend of theirs. We were the same age, at about the same level of achievement in our lives, etc. etc. Because I had a late deadline, I arranged to meet this guy at a restaurant. Although it was tough, I was there exactly on time, but no date. I waited about 15 minutes before ordering a drink and had just taken my first sip when he arrived, 25 minutes late, sweating and in gym clothes.

After brief introductions -- he never apologized for keeping me waiting, something I hate as I am always on time -- he immediately launched into how "tacky" it was that I had ordered a cocktail before he arrived. I'm usually pretty forthright but I said nothing because he was my friends' friend and maybe he was just having a bad day.

Dinner consisted of him telling me what a fantastic tax lawyer he was and how much money he made over and over and over again. Now I'm a pretty good conversationalist, but this guy was a monologist. He rebuffed all attempts to change the subject, and expressed no interest at all in my career or me or anything but himself. I should add that this guy ordered a lot of expensive food, had terrible table manners and was absolutely nothing special in the looks department -- balding, paunchy and short.

When the bill came, he didn't even look at it before saying, "I forgot my wallet. Guess you'll have to pay," with a smirk on his face. Now, I am known to be pretty generous and (too) often reach for my wallet on dates with guys who make substantially more than me. I guess I was in shock because I paid the bill. As I was waiting for my Visa to go through, this asshat leans back in his chair and asks me the only question of the night, "How old are you?" I'm an honest person, and since I knew that we were the same age, I told him.

He immediately stood up, threw down his napkin, and announced for the whole restaurant to hear, "I only date women under 28. I can't believe you had the nerve to lead me on like this." He then stormed out yelling over his shoulder that I was a "old bitch who was crazy for thinking I had a chance with a catch like me." Bear in mind that I had a high-profile media job, was generally considered to be attractive and looked far younger than my advanced age of 37 at the time.

I guess it was a measure of my low self-esteem that I actually apologized to the diners around me for his loud behavior, before bursting into tears as soon as I left the restaurant. When I told my friends about what this jerk did, they seemed not to believe me and implied that I must have done something to make him behave this way.

I didn't date for about a year after that, and have never been on a blind date since. Since then I've thought of a million snappy comebacks to this creep's comments. The best revenge is living well though -- I don't have much to do with those "friends" any more, but I heard through the grapevine that this loser married his 19-year-old secretary and that about a year after she popped out twins, she left his sorry ass and sued him for a big settlement, which she won. He'd be lucky to get any woman, IMO, and recently went bankrupt. He never did make partner.

Grimmlok · October 19th, 2005, 01:41 PM

^^^^ AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA

Send him one of those scratch and win lottery cards, and write a note saying "this is probably the only way you'll get lucky"

AHAHAHAHAHAH

pacific breeze · October 19th, 2005, 01:43 PM

^^Yeah, I think he's living in his mother's basement or something now!

SVZ · October 19th, 2005, 01:44 PM

woo go 19 year old girl!

UndercoverGator · October 19th, 2005, 02:01 PM

Whoa! At least the guy I dated was nice. How did you keep from clobbering this assclown in front of the entire restaurant? Sounds like he needed that karmic realignment in the worse way.

SVZ · October 19th, 2005, 02:02 PM

wait..who the fuck shows up at a restaurant in gym clothes???????????? who the doesn't shower after going to the gym?!?!?? especially if he's a man.

A*O · October 19th, 2005, 08:38 PM

I never had a really disastrous first date - I discovered they were nutters later

pacific breeze · October 19th, 2005, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SVZ

wait..who the fuck shows up at a restaurant in gym clothes???????????? who the doesn't shower after going to the gym?!?!?? especially if he's a man.

I guess he wanted me to catch a whiff of what a "manly" man he was! He had sweats on, and a ratty-looking blazer on top of the whole shebang.
I should have run for it then, but the whole friend thing was in the way. It should be noted here that I have turned down dates with men who wear running shoes of ANY kind anywhere other than the gym or when they're participating in outdoor physical activity.

Fucking pig!! *takes giant swig of wine* I feel better now.

Tiara · October 21st, 2005, 05:07 AM

My worst date was with some lad I met while I was out shopping. I use to see him every weekend coz he worked on a cake stall on some market and after months of smiling at each other we finally spoke and he asked me out.

He was absolutely gorgeous so I couldn't wait, turned out to be not quite what I epected.

First of all he picked me up in a crappy old fiesta that kept konking out every time he had to slow down to under 10 miles an hour so we were just coasting everywhere. Usually I'd feel really sorry for them but he was so conceited. He played me tapes of him 'M.Cing' in some club (which I think was probably his bedroom) and he sounded rubbish it was so embarrassing I just smiled and said oh ye good. I don't even like that kinda thing anyway, and the way he spoke and dressed, he was trying so hrad to be black!

Then when we got to the cinema he asked me if I smoked and I said no, and I'd rather you didn't either coz I hate it. He just laughed and lit up the biggest, fattest cone you'd ever seen. Yes people we were sat in his clapped out old banger in the cinema car park while he got stoned. I've never wanted to go home so much, then HE text me the next day saying I think ots best if we just stay friends! I was relieved but also slightly offended!!

He doesn't work on his cake stall any more!!

**NoDayButToday** · October 21st, 2005, 09:23 AM

^One of my friends was on a date with a guy and he said he got her a gift. He proceeded to hand her a joint. She asked him to take her home.

moocow · October 21st, 2005, 10:15 AM

Anyone who knows me IRL and reads this will now know it's me

A couple years ago, I was taking a judo class at the local college, and at the end, I noticed that a couple of deputies had come in - one was a friend of the sensai, apparently the other was partnering with him. The partner came up to me and asked me if I went to a particular high school, I said yes. He said he thought so, that he remembered me, knew my name. I didn't recognize his name, but it had been over 17 years since I would have seen him, so big deal. He ended up asking if I wanted to go out sometime, and I figured what the hell, I was in the middle of trying to meet new guys anyway, I'd give it a shot.

So he picks me up to go to dinner and a movie. I wasn't looking for anything fancy, I suggested this one place that's like the next level up from waffle house & IHOP, since it was near the theater. Well, we're talking while eating, finding out about each other. Turns out he's divorced with two fairly young children. I am not big on dating guys with children, especially young, but I thought ok, give him a fair chance. But he was talking about how she left him. That he has to pay so much of his salary for support, that he spends a lot of time with them, etc.

Then we end up going to the theater. We're early, it's in the mall. We're walking around, about 15 minutes before the mall itself would close. He says he wants to buy me something. I'm like no, really, it's ok, you don't need to. He said he wants to see me smile. I said I can smile without him buying me something.

Then we're walking past this one store, and I see something that makes me stop. He follows my glance, and said, "You like that? I'll buy it for you!" I looked at him, and said, "I don't want you buying me anything. And that is the most hideous pair of shoes I've seen!" And it was, I'm totally not into the spike healed converse shoes!

Then we head back to the theater. We'd opted to see Gothika. I didn't know anything about the movie going in, but he'd apparently decided that there was a devil in the movie. The theater was fairly full. I was seated between him and a high school kid. The guy, Ray, kept trying to touch me in some way. I'd try to move a bit further from him.

Throughout the movie, he kept leaning towards me, poking me in the side, and saying "I bet he's the devil". I'd calmly point out, I don't think there's a devil in this movie. But he kept doing it. At one point, I said probably a bit too loudly, "Cut it out!" And god, he was an idiot about it. I was getting better questions from the kid next to me.

Then the movie's over, we're heading out of the mall. He starts trying to convince me that when we were in high school, that something happened between us. I'm like, what? It's been way too long ago, I really don't recall. And he refused to tell me, I'm guessing he thought I'd remember. The only thing I could think of is that we might have kissed one time or something. I know I'd remember anything more than that, no matter how drunk I might have been.

As we're walking to his jeep, he stops and looks at this car, staring at its tag. I'm thinking, oh cool, maybe he recognizes it as a stolen car or something. But no, I realize that it's a bible verse on the tag frame. Now, he'd mentioned that he went to church, but not that he's a fanatic. We get to the jeep, and he pulls out a well-worn bible from the map pocket and proceeds to look up the verse, and say, yes! I was right!

I was sooo ready for this date to be over, and was cursing the fact that I hadn't driven myself. As we get back towards my apartment, he starts trying to tell me how unsafe my complex is. I'm like, I haven't seen anything dangerous, there's no registered sex offenders here, etc. He insists on walking me to my door. I tried to tell him it was ok. We get there, and I didn't invite him in. I felt kind of bad about it all, when he was leaning in, I was just going to give him a hug, but he quickly turned his head and rammed his tongue in my mouth. I thought I was going to puke.

I finally got inside and brushed my teeth and gargled. And then after that horrendous date, he tried calling and emailing a few times. I was trying to carefully blow him off, because being he was a deputy, I figured if he got pissed he could make things bad for me. Thank god I never saw him again.

Other bad scenarios:
I did try a couple of online dating things. Let's see..

One guy had said he was a few years younger, which wasn't something that interested me, but I thought oh well. He seemed to like some of the same music. He'd told me he was 5'7, which would make him about an inch taller than me. I agreed to meet up with him at a coffee shop. I get there earlier, and I see him walk towards me. He was wearing a bandana around his head. Turned out he drives a taxi, so that he can free up his schedule anytime he wants. When I stood up, I realized that he was at best 5'4. Which baffled me, because wtf, why would you lie that bad about your height when you knew you'd meet the person. Then during conversation, some of the things he said made me pause. I said, you're not 26. He said no, but how old did I think he was. I thought and said about 34. He said yes, that was it. I said why did you lie about your age? He tried to tell me it was because he looked younger (which he really didn't) and he felt that women discriminated against older men.

Another guy started chatting with me, trying to convince me how much we had in common, and kept talking about wanting to meet me. Then when he'd asked where I live, and I replied in a vague manner, he's like oh yeah, he and his girlfriend live near there. I'm like... girlfriend? Why are you talking to me if you're LIVING with a girlfriend. He said that he loves the girl, but that he needs more excitement. I'm like, I have no interest in being your entertainment, and if you aren't going to be faithful to her, she should know that.

There are others, but those are the worst.

olivia720 · October 22nd, 2005, 10:59 PM

ha! ive had so many bad dates. one guy brought his son, one guy was a homophobe, one guy spent the entire date telling me how often his dad used to rape him (i felt sorry for him). and those arent the worst ones. the really fun ones are when the guy is so into himself and talks about himself incessantly. also a BIG no no is someone who cant shut up about their EX. jesus i hate that. move on you big loser. you dont go off like that on a first date. some men are so crappy with dating instincts.
OH yeah! and they lie about their height ALL THE TIME. (reference to moocow) and that is fucking stupid cause you're gonna find out. oh wait, they lie about everything.

buttmunch · November 12th, 2005, 03:56 PM

I had a guy take me to dinner and it turned out he had snuck a bottle of wine in with him. When the waiter saw it and realized the restaurant didn't serve that label, we were kicked out. Nice, eh?

pacific breeze · November 12th, 2005, 04:05 PM

^^This happened to me once, too. What a loser.