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Thread: Assholes on a Plane

  1. #61
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Delphinium=Rummy
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

  2. #62
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buttmunch View Post
    I hope Grimm is bequeathed a couple of kids by a long lost relative...and that he has to pick them up from the other side of the country and fly them home.
    Oh come on, they can ship lab monkeys with a minimum of fuss. Some wood glue, some carpet shavings and some chloroform and we'll be good to go.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  3. #63
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    I can't stand to hear people popping & smacking gum. Actually, I despise all smacky mouth noises in general. Anyway, I was on a flight once with about 25 family members returning from a reunion. They all had gum "to help their ears" and they all smacked it with their mouths open. I thought, ok, when we start up, the plane will drown out the noise. It didn't. I thought, ok, they'll spit it out when it loses the flavor. They did, but they hollered for MORE GUM I NEED MORE GUM HERE I'VE GOT GUM OK THANKS smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack smack....
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
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  4. #64
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    I dont get people like that.

    or people who chew food with their mouths open.. ugh..

    Gum I can handle.. it's irritating, sure. Eating with your mouth open? That's revolting. All those slimy squishy sticky slop noises... ugh.

    When i chew gum, I chew with my face firmly closed, same with eating.

    i remember having to go (multiple times) to friends of my parents', and their ENTIRE family would chew with their mouths open. it was so gross i could never eat my meal, and dreaded going over
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  5. #65
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    My grandma started doing that during her last 10 years of life. And it's not like she was broken down & crazy, either. She would be all dressed up lookin' snazzy, in a restaurant, talking to people with a mouth full of food. It mortified me.
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
    Emma Peel aka Pacific Breeze aka Wilde1 aka gogodancer aka maribou

    Yip, yip, yip in your tiny indignation. Bark furiously on, lady dog.

  6. #66
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    My ex did it from time to time.. when he did, i'd just smack him upside the jaw, forcibly clopping his jaw shut.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  7. #67
    A*O
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    We call open-mouth eating or, God help me, talking while eating Tumbledryer Mouth.

    I was in a cafe full of bogans (Aussie chavs/trailertrash) the other day and one bloke was chewing gum AND eating his souvlaki at the same time. Gross.
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
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  8. #68
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    My ex did it from time to time.. when he did, i'd just smack him upside the jaw, forcibly clopping his jaw shut.
    Yeah, I smacked my grandma like that once, but then decided it was a tad disrespectful. I just started kicking her really hard in the shins, under the table, instead.
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
    Emma Peel aka Pacific Breeze aka Wilde1 aka gogodancer aka maribou

    Yip, yip, yip in your tiny indignation. Bark furiously on, lady dog.

  9. #69
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    That's much nicer, you probably cracked her spindly legs
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  10. #70
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Smacky mouth!!! Great name for that horror! And don't worry about granny. If she got this far in life, a little slapping around won't phase her.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

    "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
    --Sinclair Lewis

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    Elite Member sprynkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sojiita View Post
    If people tend to bother you on a plane..simply have a book handy with a cover on it that says something like, "How to overcome your intense hatred and homicidal feelings towards strangers on an airplane".
    OMG, that's twice you've seriously cracked me up here!
    Picture it...a flight from the Northwest to Orlando Florida this July. I am going to astronaut camp, yay! I go with an old friend who stayed up all night drinking a massive amount of rum and has to have emphyzema. He coughed on me for 5 hours straight with his awful stale alcohol breath. On the way back too. I now seriously hate him!
    Delta airlines...thee most uncomfortable seats ever, with no leg room. Never again Delta, never again!

    "A massive penis means never having to say you're sorry". Mo

  12. #72
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lalaland View Post
    I had an attendant who was a total bitch to me once. I felt like I was Adam Sandler in the movie Anger Management!!! She kept telling me to put my seat up - and I kept telling her it was broken (she was walking so fast up and down the aisle and basically ignored me). So I guess she got fed up with my shit and walked up to me from behind and said "Miss! I've asked you repeatedly to put your seat back up!" So I said something like "I've told you over and over again that it's broken!". She told me to calm down or she would have security waiting for me when I got off the plane. I was like "WTF!?!?!?!?!?"
    I hope you at least reported her dumb ass to someone..I think I would have stroked out if that happened to me.
    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

  13. #73
    A*O
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    I've told this story before but on the flip side: I was on a busy commuter flight from DC to Orlando full of sweaty, bad tempered assholes and the flight attendants had obviously had a long, hard day dealing with them so the atmos was a little 'tense' to say the least. After we took off a male flight attendant who was almost weeping with exhaustion and stress came up to me and gave me a bottle of rather good red wine. When I asked him why he said "because you said 'thank you' when I put your bag in the overhead locker". Bless. Fly United!
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
    Dame Edna Everage

    Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

  14. #74
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    I know a flight attendant(gay male) who has some very 'interesting' things to say about his 'experiences'...including some Russian guy on a flight who said he would pay him $500.00 to let him stroke his chest! LOL!
    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

  15. #75
    Elite Member sprynkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sojiita View Post
    I know a flight attendant(gay male) who has some very 'interesting' things to say about his 'experiences'...including some Russian guy on a flight who said he would pay him $500.00 to let him stroke his chest! LOL!
    Well????? Did he?

    "A massive penis means never having to say you're sorry". Mo

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