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Thread: Assholes on a Plane

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    A*O
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    Default Assholes on a Plane

    Come on, share your stories of rude, selfish, ignorant, drunk, violent people on planes who make the whole flying experience so thoroughly enjoyable for everyone else.

    In no particular order, the "oh, did I take the wrong seat?" people who decide they don't like the seat they've been allocated so they take yours instead and then bitch when they are asked to move. I'm sure things were much worse pre 9/11 when life in the skies was somewhat less paranoid but even so people still try it on.

    Also, the "I want to put this full set of golf clubs in the overhead locker so screw you".

    Also, the "excuse me, wake up, could you put your seat back upright so I can go to the bathroom and/or watch my movie screen?"

    Also, "my baby has a severe ear infection but we decided to fly anyway so you'll have to put up with the screaming"

    Also, "what was that noise, did the engine fall off?, why is the attendant looking so scared, did you hear that?, why did the pilot just tell us we're running a few minutes late?, I heard it again!, I need a drink, where is the emergency exit, I can smell burning, where's my lifejacket, oh God, I know there's something wrong with the wing, are we there yet?, we are all going to die............"
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    Elite Member yanna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    The parents who look on fondly as their spawn kicks the back of my seat repeatedly and are offended when I turn around and yell at their little satan to stop that or else. I think there should be a special children area on planes. We can have the parents and their spawn there just torturing each other and not the rest of us.

    And people who want to chat. What the hell is wrong with them? I'm not interested. Nope. Not at all.

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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    I was once an asshole on a plane. I had made the mistake of eating the airplane food and within an hour was releasing the most deadly farts imaginable. I was fine with it because, as we all know, you're never bothered by your own farts, but the guy behind me, while unable to prove I was the offender, absolutely knew it was me. He kept complaining loudly and finally tried to get his seat changed, but the plane was full and nothing available. At the end of the day, he had to be satisfied with staring daggers at me as we disembarked and making rude comments. But I was 19 and found the whole situation hilarious.
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    Hit By Ban Bus! UndercoverGator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    And people who want to chat. What the hell is wrong with them? I'm not interested. Nope. Not at all.
    Amen! I try to bring my Ipod everytime I fly now so that when that random annoying stranger wants to pour out their life story I put it on immediately and switch it on to stop that from happening.

    Last time I flew some Z List teenybopper star spend most of the flight making passes and attempting to flirt with my then 14 year old daughter. Doesn't every mom want a freak with an Elvis do and more makeup than a drag queen trying to score with their daughter mid flight? Ha ha, my daughter smacked him down rudely.

    Assholes on a plane? Being on a lonnnng international flight, booking my flight months in advance and asking to be a long way away from the smoking section then showing up at the airport and finding my seat and my newborn baby's seat is the first row in front of the smokers section. At the time my asthma was so bad that I spent most of the flight sucking on my inhaler. The older couple sitting behind me sucked down booze and ciggies like they were in a nightclub, blowing a continious stream of smoke and liquior fumes my way but had the nerve to bitch to the stewardess when I breast fed my baby under a blanket. Nightmare scenario on a 12 hour flight.

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    A*O
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    ALSO - and this drives me fucking NUTS. The plane lands and we are told to remain seated until the plane reaches a complete standstill, etc. So everyone sits there, poised, and as soon as it stops at the gate EVERYONE immediately stands up and grabs their stuff from the lockers and all stand cramed into the aisle like sardines for several minutes unable to move because the door isn't open yet. WHY?!?!?
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    Zee
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    THis is my pet peeve. Hate the people that try and watch you work/play on a laptop. If it is a long flight by myself, I get caught up with my email. Yes, I get a lot of email and you are pissing me off.
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    Friend of Gossip Rocks! buttmunch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    I hate people who play games on thier computer with the sound on. Nothing like five or six hours of ratatatatatatata from some asshole playing Doom.

    In defense of the crying baby thing, babies are extremely sensitive to pressure changes during take off and landing. Mine used to scream bloody murder for fifteen minutes at the beginning and fifteen minutes at the end...and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Nothing stopped their pain.

    Another BIG pet peeve? Unfair use of the arm rest. I don't know how many times I've had some asshole put his arm on what is rightfully my armrest or even worse, his arm is half way into my space. There is an invisable line that must not be crossed. Also, I hate to say it but I hate getting seated next to overweight people. They simply take up too much space on today's airplanes. I know, I'm anti-fatty on this but damn, buy two seats!
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

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    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    As a child when flying(did a good amount)..I was a little asshole cause I would talk about the latest plane crash that had been on the news, or how much shaking was going on, or some such shit that would nearly panic the adults. Very distinctly remember getting in trouble for causing a woman from Lomita California(remember that detail for some reason) to nearly have an anxiety attack. As an adult I have flown much less..have had to be at least semi-drunk to fly-but not bothering anyone in my semi-drunk state though- just quietly keeping to myself and my mental images of a traumatic fiery death.
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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    Babies. I fucking hate babies. Give your stupid spawn a thimble of sherry to knock it the fuck out, smack it upside the head with a blunt object, or smother the thing till it passes out.. But no, people don't do this but like movie theatres.. YOU DO NOT BRING A FUCKING BABY ON A PLANE then.

    Actually, you shouldnt take your stupid baby to ANY PLACE where people are cooped up in an enclosed area and cannot escape.

    Have some common sense, or die. I don't care which.
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    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    I have three rules. I mostly travel solo.

    1) I immediately get a seat assignment when I buy the ticket. I like the bulk head seat (first seat by the window). I need the leg room because I have a bad knee. So when the flight attendant asks if I would mind moving for a baby and mom and give up my pre-ordered seat - like she should have done, I say no.

    2) Flying alone does not make you a second class citizen. I have been asked numerous times if I would so kindly move. I will always ask if it's for an elderly person. It's usually for a couple who couldn't get seats together. Too bad. You should have booked your seats.

    3) If a child is kicking the back of my seat more than once, I will turn around and tell them to please stop.
    When the parents get so offended that I addressed their child directly, I have told them that I'm offended that their children have no manners.

    Hard ass on a plane. That's me. Oh, and my headphones go on before I buckle up.

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    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    If people tend to bother you on a plane..simply have a book handy with a cover on it that says something like, "How to overcome your intense hatred and homicidal feelings towards strangers on an airplane".
    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    My headphones always go on the second I board as well, Chalet - when I'm flying alone that is, which I've only done maybe three times. I've only had to suffer through one bad plane experience - a screaming, wailing child (child, not baby, babies at least can't really help it) with a mother who refused to do anything to quiet the kid. Seriously, there's just no need for a four-year-old to wail through an entire cross-country flight.
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    Babies. I fucking hate babies. Give your stupid spawn a thimble of sherry to knock it the fuck out, smack it upside the head with a blunt object, or smother the thing till it passes out.. But no, people don't do this but like movie theatres.. YOU DO NOT BRING A FUCKING BABY ON A PLANE then.

    Actually, you shouldnt take your stupid baby to ANY PLACE where people are cooped up in an enclosed area and cannot escape.

    Have some common sense, or die. I don't care which.
    I have to call bullshit on this. What if you need to go overseas? Should you book on the QE2 instead? Or maybe drive for a week to make it across the country? In a perfect world, we'd teleport to where we needed to go, causing no inconvenience or irritation to any other human being. But that ain't possible so we all have to deal with each other. The way I see it, planes today are like the buses of yesterday. Shitty travel in cramped spaces. Kids are part of it, just like grumpy gay guys.
    'Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.' Ben Franklin

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    Gold Member Goose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    Quote Originally Posted by Chalet View Post
    I have three rules. I mostly travel solo.

    1) I immediately get a seat assignment when I buy the ticket. I like the bulk head seat (first seat by the window). I need the leg room because I have a bad knee. So when the flight attendant asks if I would mind moving for a baby and mom and give up my pre-ordered seat - like she should have done, I say no.

    2) Flying alone does not make you a second class citizen. I have been asked numerous times if I would so kindly move. I will always ask if it's for an elderly person. It's usually for a couple who couldn't get seats together. Too bad. You should have booked your seats.

    3) If a child is kicking the back of my seat more than once, I will turn around and tell them to please stop.
    When the parents get so offended that I addressed their child directly, I have told them that I'm offended that their children have no manners.

    Hard ass on a plane. That's me. Oh, and my headphones go on before I buckle up.
    Chalet, I 100% agree with your rules. I also fly alone 99% of the time that I travel. I always have a book or crossword puzzle out so as to distract people from talking to me. I also like the seat by the window directly behind first class, and select that seat purposely at the time of check in. I one time made the mistake of agreeing to switch with what was supposed to be another window seat so a grandparent and child could sit together. BIG MISTAKE! Not only was it NOT a window seat, it was a middle seat between 2 fairly large people. Only bonus I got out of that was two free drinks from the flight attendants!
    You were lucky to have me. But you know what? I think I already got the best part of you. And she's standing right out there. I don't know... what's left just doesn't look so good anymore. Hope Floats

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    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Assholes on a Plane

    Maybe we should write the GossipRocks handbook for how to fly properly!

    Babies are a part of the package, I never mind a crying baby, that's what the headphones are for. But please don't talk to me unless you are a male, gorgeous, single, French banker.

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