Cruise Recreating The Titanic’s Disastrous Voyage Is A Terrible Idea

**witchcurlgirl** · December 28th, 2011, 10:33 PM

Today in extreme and questionable geekery: a British company has almost sold out the 2,000 available tickets for two cruises that promise to recreate the Titanic's ill-fated maiden voyage on the 100th anniversary of the disaster next year. Floating piece of door and Leonardo DiCapriosicle not included.

The cruises are part of another reswelling of interest in the lore of the lost gigantic ship— next year, James Cameron's Titanic will be rereleased in 3D, festivals marking the 100th anniversary of the boat's demise will occur on both sides of the pond, and crazy, rich bastards will be able to pay a Russian company $59,000 to take a submarine down to the site of the wreckage.

The Titanic cruise passengers will thankfully cross the Atlantic on a ship that isn't named Titanic II: Titanic 2 Titanic, but rather the MS Balmoral. According to the Independent, exquisite attention has been paid to every detail, so that the passengers willing to pay the $10,000 or so the trip costs will be treated to the nerdiest, most historically accurate disaster recreation ever. They'll follow the exact path of the ship to the point where the vessel hit an iceberg and went down in the north Atlantic. Passengers will be served food from the same menu served to passengers during the Titanic's journey. Relatives of passengers on the original Titanic will be aboard. Presumably, half of those on board will lose their virginity to a poor lad with a heart of gold, after he draws them like he draws one of his French girls. Diamonds for everyone! The ship will briefly halt at the exact location where the Titanic went down, so that on April 15 at precisely 2:20 am, passengers will participate in a memorial service for the passengers lost to the chilly waters exactly 100 years before.

No word on whether or not Celine Dion will be providing the endlessly repeated soundtrack.

Cruise Recreating The Titanic's Disastrous Voyage Is A Terrible Idea

**Trixie** · December 28th, 2011, 11:21 PM

Do they all get to take turns going to the front of the boat to yell "I'm King of the World!?" Because otherwise, fuck it.

**DeChayz** · December 28th, 2011, 11:25 PM

That sounds pretty neat, actually.

**BigBen** · December 29th, 2011, 01:08 AM

Okay, I'll be totally honest here -- if I had the cash for this, I'd totally do it. It's the perfect mix of nerdy and morbid, and I'm sure it'd be the kind of experience that stays with you for a long time afterward. From the title I thought they were going to recreate the wreck somehow, like in a giant tank or something, and I thought that was fucking dumb as hell. But just a recreated voyage with a memorial at the crash site? That's actually pretty awesome.

**Brookie** · December 29th, 2011, 01:14 AM

So, the ship will sink, not enough lifeboats will be available and 1500 people will die on their Titanic recreation voyage? Sounds like a fucking blast.

**Kat Scorp** · December 29th, 2011, 05:54 AM

... Not unless Victor Garber strolls around the deck, stepping out of his Thomas Andrews character every now and then to let rip with some show tunes.

Then he can sing me asleep with a falsetto performance of that Celine Dion song. Man's got a superb voice. Give ya goosebumps.

**BITTER** · December 29th, 2011, 06:21 AM

Bad idea - the Balmoral is a cruise ship designed to sail warm waters close to the coast; NOT a deep-sea ocean liner with a deep draft and a thick hull. God help them if the weather if rough; she'll toss about like Paris Hilton's head between Rick Salomon's legs.

I'm a big maritime history geek myself, but even if I did have the coin to do this I would NOT - it's too corny. And if people dress up in 1912 fashions, I hope the Balmoral does sink!!

To illustrate - here is a pic of the Balmoral in choppy seas IN coastal waters!!

**Kat Scorp** · December 29th, 2011, 06:51 AM

o.O Okie dokie then. So they are reinacting the Titanic - wonder how much the Balmoral was just insured for?

**Brookie** · December 29th, 2011, 06:59 AM

Originally Posted by Kat Scorp

... Not unless Victor Garber strolls around the deck, stepping out of his Thomas Andrews character every now and then to let rip with some show tunes.

Then he can sing me asleep with a falsetto performance of that Celine Dion song. Man's got a superb voice. Give ya goosebumps.

I need Debbie Reynolds on there too for some cuts from "The Unsinkable Molly Brown".