The Crazy Bear in Beaconsfield is an island of gaudy excess in the heart of the comfortable, conservative Home Counties.
"Is this perhaps the drug-fuelled fantasy of a rock chick or a Mafia boss?" asks Fiona Duncan, who recently visited the hotel to offer her verdict.
"Liberace lives," is her reasonable conclusion.
"The English restaurant provides a welcome contrast to the ostentatious surroundings: sensible, freshly prepared and very well cooked."
"There’s Persian pony skin on the walls of the bar, which feels like an opulent Napoleonic den."
"Our room was a modest blood-red-and-black affair in crocodile skin, fur, velvet and chiffon, lit by chandeliers."
"The bedrooms are each built around a wildly ornate bed, with copper baths filled from the ceiling."
"One expects to see bowls of cocaine and sofas draped with half-naked women."
The Crazy Bear, Beaconsfield: excess in the Shires - Telegraph