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Thread: The worst gifts I've ever received from a man (don't buy these for your wife!)

  1. #16
    Elite Member Shinola's Avatar
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    Thong = weirdness. The glass silk-flower-holder thing = piece of crap.

    My only complaint is that every year, someone in my horde of in-laws gets me a hat, and they never fit. I have a deceptively large skull and have to wear men's hats. So I now have seven or eight hats that don't fit me but that I can't really get rid of, either, because they came from "family."

    I try to hint here and there that I have a giant head and can't wear regular-size hats, but it never seems to work. And I don't feel comfortable telling the gift giver that the hat didn't fit.
    Posted from my fucking iPhone

  2. #17
    Gold Member ArmyWifey's Avatar
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    I once got a cutting board and a pair of fuzzy socks from hubby one year, he got a ping pong table, I wanted to tell him to keep the socks, I was going to play some ping pong...
    Id rather be hated for who I am than loved for who Im not

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    A friends' husband once bought her one of those red warning triangles you put in the road when your car breaks down. He kept it in HIS car.

    As a joke (I think?) and in recognition of the current economic downturn my husband gave me a Chrisco Christmas Hamper brochure for this year's Xmas present. I can pick any hamper I like for NEXT Xmas so that's 2 pressies in one!
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
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    How did I miss this thread?

    Once I got a roll of plastic refrigerator liner with the 99 cent price label still on it. The same socially maladjusted relative gave me a bottle of toilet cleaner, also with a clearance tag on it and a tube of chimney putty.

    Once I had the stomach flu and some numbnuts boyfriend gave me a ten pound box of chocolates.

  5. #20
    Elite Member Serendipity's Avatar
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    I can tell I'm in the bad books with my mother-in-law after this year's birthday present. A bottle of cheap perfume which was so old there was only about a quarter of the perfume left in it even though it had been unopened.

  6. #21
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    My husband goes overboard. Like-the entire perfume counter. More than I would use in a lifetime. I finally got him away from that idea,he went to purses-all from the King Ranch. All with my initials right on them. I have all of their luggage,all of their purses-with great big initials! Try returning that! So,of course I just love them. Well,to be fair it does make me laugh & I have great fun with my friends about it. I have even said flat out "Just give me the cash". He thinks I'm kidding. I am not! If I am not mistaken,this year I will be getting monogramed sheets and wine glasses. I know this only because a lady from Neimans called to double check the monogram!
    This must be genetic. When we first got married and he hauled his luggage out, it was monogramed,with this funny looking squiggle thing. I asked him what that was and he looked at me in astonishment. He said"Why,that is our registered cattle brand,of course!" Of course! How silly of me! That had been his college graduation prsent from his parents.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    That's too funny, McJag! My husband goes overboard in a different way. I usually ask for a gift card to the local art supply store for canvases and paint or for a power tool or another practical gift and he rushes off to the local gift shop run by two extreme femme gay male friends of mine while he's screaming, "Help! I don't know what to get Chee for Xmas!!!!!" and they pick out my gifts. I've gotten silver backed brushes, mirror and comb with my name engraved on it, a jewelry box of exotic woods with my name engraved on a brass plate attached to it, I've gotten jewelry, a fur coat, perfume, purses (initialed of course!), candy, etc, etc, typical 'female' gifts when I was grumbling I wanted an attachment set for my Dremel.

  8. #23
    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maribou View Post
    An ex gave me a dusbuster and an apron. About three days later, he dumped me the day before we were going to the Caribbean together. I went anyway. Hooray for me!
    Quote Originally Posted by cheetopia View Post
    How did I miss this thread?

    Once I got a roll of plastic refrigerator liner with the 99 cent price label still on it. The same socially maladjusted relative gave me a bottle of toilet cleaner, also with a clearance tag on it and a tube of chimney putty.

    Once I had the stomach flu and some numbnuts boyfriend gave me a ten pound box of chocolates.
    I'm rolling on the floor and shocked at the same time. An apron and dustbuster????? Toilet cleaner and refrigerator liner????

    Cleaning products for gifts???? I don't understand.

  9. #24
    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KristiB View Post
    I got an electric can opener and a bottle of Clinique toner from a boyfriend once.
    I would be happy getting one of those new can openers that open everything. I have the hardest time opening jars.

    Quote Originally Posted by maribou View Post
    An ex gave me a dusbuster and an apron. About three days later, he dumped me the day before we were going to the Caribbean together. I went anyway. Hooray for me!
    I would love to get a nice apron, but I love to cook.

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmyWifey View Post
    I once got a cutting board and a pair of fuzzy socks from hubby one year, he got a ping pong table, I wanted to tell him to keep the socks, I was going to play some ping pong...
    A cutting board is actually on my wish list. I want one of those nice, big, wood cutting boards.

    The craziest present I ever got was from an ex. It was a silver necklace with an axe charm on it.

  10. #25
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    ^ LOL. I am always trying to steal my stepdad's cutting board. It's 2ft by 2ft and bamboo, it even has a drippings trough on one end.
    It's huge, but nice.

  11. #26
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheetopia View Post
    That's too funny, McJag! My husband goes overboard in a different way. I usually ask for a gift card to the local art supply store for canvases and paint or for a power tool or another practical gift and he rushes off to the local gift shop run by two extreme femme gay male friends of mine while he's screaming, "Help! I don't know what to get Chee for Xmas!!!!!" and they pick out my gifts. I've gotten silver backed brushes, mirror and comb with my name engraved on it, a jewelry box of exotic woods with my name engraved on a brass plate attached to it, I've gotten jewelry, a fur coat, perfume, purses (initialed of course!), candy, etc, etc, typical 'female' gifts when I was grumbling I wanted an attachment set for my Dremel.
    You think maybe they are afraid we will forget our name?? Or say"Well,I'd like to divorce him,but I really can't because my initials are on everything"? I feel your pain about the Dremel attachment you were lusting after. For 4 YEARS I have been putting a rain gauge on my wish list. 4 years!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  12. #27
    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Most horrible experience Xmas 2005, first Xmas with my sweetie (the one that turned out to be a secret cokehead); we had a lovely dinner on Xmas Eve things were a little strange. Anyway, Monte the Spaz starts acting really weird when we get to his house (I get excited about giving presents but this was too much) he puts a bag of gifts on the table hands me a card and basically starts yelling me at me to open it. I'm standing there like "wtf is going on?" and he takes away the card and the bag. Strangest thing ever.

    McJag that is so adorably endearing I just say "awwwwwwwwwwwww"
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

    Fuck you all, I'm going viral.

  13. #28
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    He wanted you to open your bag of coke so he could snort it. God!

    You took too long, you stupid bitch!

    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  14. #29
    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    He wanted you to open your bag of coke so he could snort it. God!

    You took too long, you stupid bitch!

    I know, I'm absolutely horrible. I now believe that he doled out the gifts to me throughout the rest of our very doomed relationship.
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

    Fuck you all, I'm going viral.

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just Kill Me View Post
    I know, I'm absolutely horrible. I now believe that he doled out the gifts to me throughout the rest of our very doomed relationship.

    Could be worse. I have a friend that got a Salad Shooter (TM) as an Xms gift. Hubby confided in me that the friend's hubby asked him to go in halfsies with him because the Salad Shooters (TM) were on sale two for one. Hubby said he knew I would Salad Shooter (TM) his ween were I to get a salad chopping device for a gift.

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