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Thread: Why I never want to live in Australia

  1. #61
    A*O
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    No, the creepy crawlies live in the CAR or UNDER THE BED or IN YOUR SHOES...
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
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  2. #62
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    or toilet

    there was a frog that lives in the outdoor toilet where my grandma was staying in puerto rico out in the rainforest. she said its always there, everytime she comes to visit its there just chillin', needless to say, i peed on a frog!

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    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
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    I'd give anything to pee on a frog I love frogs.

  4. #64
    Elite Member january's Avatar
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    I had a guy friend once who grew up in Australia because his father was relocated there when he was two. He came back when he was ten. He told us absolutely horror stories about the spiders that he would have in his bedroom at night, it was so disturbing.
    Women ain't gonna let a thing like sense fuck up their argument. - Chris Rock

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sweetie View Post
    I've never seen a coyote fall off of a sun-visor.
    I live in Bedford NY. We have coyotes, wolves, and Copperheads. But far more feared is the Deer Tick, host of the infamous Lyme Disease.

  6. #66
    Elite Member Algernon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dahli View Post
    How about a brown recluse spider. I had a relative get bitten by one in her house in Ohio. She actually got this huge welt on her leg and then it started bubbling into this giant pus infected thing. I insisted she got to the hospital and they put her on antibiotics and she was there for three days. Teeny tiny spider bite.
    I am completely terrified of running into a brown recluse. They look so little and innocent...but they sure can do some damage.

    We get a lot of wolf spiders in my house. They are huge and hairy and absolutely fucking horrible. I scream every time I see one...which is more often than I'd like! Here is a true story for you: I was sitting late at night watching TV, everyone in the house was asleep. I had on my boxer shorts and a t-shirt. I was just musing absent-mindedly at the tv when suddenly a ginormous wolf spider lands on my lap. Big and heavy enough to actually make a 'thunk' noise. Holy fucking shit you've never seen a woman go more mad. I jumped up, arms and legs flailing, screaming bloody murder, clothes flying off. Within a millisecond I was buck naked and still feeling little legs all over me, still screaming. My husband came barrelling into the room ready to kill whatever intruder had broken in and was assaulting his wife. Only to find me flailing wildly, naked, in front of the window that was not covered. Oops.

    Yeah, I am quite afraid of spiders. I'd still go to Australia though...AO is making me feel better about that whole situation...lol
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  7. #67
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    I see coyotes all the time. They're too small to be a danger to people.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Painted Blue View Post
    hahaha i slept ok cause i sucked it up in the vacumm cleaner
    I really hate to tell you this, but the motherfucker probably waited a bit and then crawled back out again. Spiders can and do survive a tangle with a hoover. They scrunch up into a little ball and just whizz round unharmed until it's safe for them to uncurl and climb out again. I know this as I used a friend's dyson to dispose of one of the bastards and when they went to empty it out shortly afterwards the S.O.B spider was in one piece and alive. Until we dropped a bloody great telephone directory on it. And jumped on it. Several times. Now whenever I get rid of a spider in that way I follow it with a healthy dose of my cats fleapowder. EAT POISON AND DIE!!!!!

    Oh yes, I've also heard that they can survive being washed down the bathroom plug hole. Little air bubbles get trapped in the hairs on their body and they use them to sustain themselves until they can crawl back out of your overflow. If I get one in the bath now I grab one (or preferably all) of my cats and lock them in there with it for 20 minutes. If no cats are handy or willing to eat it the cursed thing either gets washed down with scalding water or if no hot water is immediately available I use cold water and follow it with a splodge of shampoo (hopefully it prevents the airbubbles forming in it's hairs so the fucker drowns like its supposed to).

    I hate spiders.

  9. #69
    Elite Member Serendipity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AliceInWonderland View Post
    or toilet

    there was a frog that lives in the outdoor toilet where my grandma was staying in puerto rico out in the rainforest. she said its always there, everytime she comes to visit its there just chillin', needless to say, i peed on a frog!
    What happens if you pee on a frog? Does it turn into John Mayer?

  10. #70
    Gold Member atrayubrandy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Algernon View Post
    I am completely terrified of running into a brown recluse. They look so little and innocent...but they sure can do some damage.

    We get a lot of wolf spiders in my house. They are huge and hairy and absolutely fucking horrible. I scream every time I see one...which is more often than I'd like! Here is a true story for you: I was sitting late at night watching TV, everyone in the house was asleep. I had on my boxer shorts and a t-shirt. I was just musing absent-mindedly at the tv when suddenly a ginormous wolf spider lands on my lap. Big and heavy enough to actually make a 'thunk' noise. Holy fucking shit you've never seen a woman go more mad. I jumped up, arms and legs flailing, screaming bloody murder, clothes flying off. Within a millisecond I was buck naked and still feeling little legs all over me, still screaming. My husband came barrelling into the room ready to kill whatever intruder had broken in and was assaulting his wife. Only to find me flailing wildly, naked, in front of the window that was not covered. Oops.

    Yeah, I am quite afraid of spiders. I'd still go to Australia though...AO is making me feel better about that whole situation...lol
    Oh my God! I seriously almost cried reading that. I would be so terrified.

    I can't kill spiders because I'm too afraid to get close to them. However, I can usually trap them under a glass and have someone else take them outside. One time, I was watching TV and there was a HUGE spider on the coffee table. It was so big I was worried that I couldn't even capture it in a glass. I FREAKED! I ended up calling my mom at work and I begged her to leave work to take care of this situation. (She said no! Can you believe that?) So, I went in to the garage and looked for any sort of insect spray I could find. I found a wasp killer. Sprayed the offending spider and he started running! I FREAKED AGAIN!!! Ran in to my bedroom (which was on the opposite side of the house) and didn't come back out until my dad came home several hours later. The spider did die, though. My dad found it curled in a ball under the couch. UGH!!
    Beneath the sun of summer a sea of flowers won't bloom without the rain.

  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Serendipity View Post
    What happens if you pee on a frog? Does it turn into John Mayer?
    ohh i hope so he is soo dreamy!! jk...though I still do doubt he is a golden shower freako...he seems so vanilla to me

  12. #72
    Elite Member Serendipity's Avatar
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    I have no idea where the rumour came from, would love to know. But it's still fun to joke about

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Yeah, when i suck up spiders in the vacuum cleaner i usually follow it up with a handful of change and let it run for a good minute, whirling around the cannister

    If not, there'a always a centipede i can suck up so they can fight it out. I usually try to melt centipedes with Tilex though. It's easier. Fuckers are fast.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  14. #74
    Elite Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sasha View Post
    I've seen these in my garden more than once:



    GOLDEN SILK SPIDER: (Nephila clavipes) This picture is a golden silk spider. Most people call them Banana Spiders because of their yellow bodies. They weave very strong webs which look like gold thread in the sunshine. Thats why they are called Golden Silk Spiders. Their legs look long and hairy. The female is much bigger than the male. She is about 3 inches long, and the male is only 1/2 inch long. They make big webs, about 3 feet wide and live all over the southern US, especially Florida. They rarely ever bite people. Some people have allergic reactions to spider bites, but for most people, its the same as getting bitten by an ant or deer fly. Its not fun, but it wont kill you.

    I live in South Florida and thank god I have never seen one of these... my yard even backs up to a little jungle area.
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  15. #75
    Elite Member Rica's Avatar
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    If you vacumn up a spider...leave the vacumn running for 10 minutes, the spider wont get any air and will suffocate (its what my grandma used to do)

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