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Thread: Texts from last night

  1. #31
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
    (1-847): How was it?
    (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  2. #32
    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    (210): READY
    (1-210) for what?
    (210) TO HAVE SEXXXX
    (1-210) i think you have the wrong number
    Ain't nothing wrong with Ohio wang! - MontanaMama

  3. #33
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    (214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.(Mel was that you)
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

  4. #34
    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
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    (801): see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
    (1-801): wait.... you do what?
    -

    (508): my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.

    -

    (908): im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

    -

    (734): I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.

    -

    (478): Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
    (706): Try anal, it works wonders.

    -

    (207): Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people

    -

    (901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

    -

    (478): wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.

    -

    (845): I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred. <----(LMFAO)

    -

    (203): I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
    (203): needless to say I left

    -

    (970): I want to walk on stilts...naked

    -

    (216): bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
    (440): isn't bella the cat???
    (216): that she is

    -

    (612): im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me

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    (914): I faked an abortion last night. <---(WTF O.O)

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    (415): mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you

    -

    (603): I puked a lego.

    -

    ... I love this fucking website.... !!!!!!

  5. #35
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    (978): i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened



    (850): come over anyways, right now, right this second
    (850): it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
    (561): wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation


    I love this site.


    (316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
    (785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.



    I think this one is going to be my new siggie:

    (202): if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  6. #36
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    "Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low." lmao!!!

  7. #37
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    rofl I saw that and said the same thing new siggie
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

  8. #38
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    (330): How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...

    (541): so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

    (757): DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
    (703): I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.

    (630): Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

    (860): I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
    (860): fuckk wrong person
    (1-860):.. who was that for? a girlscout?


    oh god this site is killing me
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

  9. #39
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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    (757): DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
    (703): I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.


    (434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
    (540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

    901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

    (630): My bed smells like naked
    (414): Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes

    (604): Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.

    (703): maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
    (859): i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

    For Grimm.. lol...
    (203): I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
    (860): oh sweet, sweet irony

    (732): fuck the hobbit
    (301): what about unicorns?
    (732): fuck those pointy horses

    (812): Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.

    (312): Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.

    (301): Bea Arthur died yesterday
    (240): You shut your stupid mouth
    (301): Betty White is next, I just know it.
    (240): Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.

  10. #40
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.


    (310): dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
    (323): no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
    (310): oh, so thats why my junks red.
    (323): wow. cant help you there...


    (410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.


    (617): Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises (Someone knows ALICE)
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

  11. #41
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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    I seriously love this site.. WHY did I have to discover it the week of final exams.. I'm sitting here in the library laughing silently to myself instead of STUDYING!!!

  12. #42
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    how the hell are you laughing silently dude i'm crying over here lol
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

  13. #43
    Elite Member HelpMeRhonda's Avatar
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    (860): I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
    (860): fuckk wrong person
    (1-860):.. who was that for? a girlscout?


    651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.


    (914): No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
    Last edited by HelpMeRhonda; May 13th, 2009 at 12:46 PM.
    'High, High. Yaw Both High and Smokin' Weeeed in Front of My Howse"
    Bah-Brahhh-Teen Mom

  14. #44
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    how the hell are you laughing silently dude i'm crying over here lol
    Once in a while I let out a huge laugh... thank god I'm not sitting on a silent study floor lol.. I would have been kicked out already.

  15. #45
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    317): Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.



    (856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?


    (602): i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

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