Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Now THAT is a kickass signature.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yes. Yes you are.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Judgemental bitch. Who among us...