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Thread: Texts from last night

  1. #286
    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
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    Sounds more like a lunch dropper

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  5. #290
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittylady View Post
    That is MINE! Seriously, my little brother has used that one for at least a decade! At a family reunion, he walks in and says "look at all the little fuck trophies!"! Thieves!
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(_)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

  6. #291
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    These are beginning to worry me. People are really fucked up and I'm concerned that perhaps Armageddon is upon us....


    (215): winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.


    (647): Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
    Ewwwwwwwww


    (718): you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
    checks phone to make sure I didn't send that one....



    (443): The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"


    (954): Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.



    (740): she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.



    (917): Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.



    (213): How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.



    (651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.



    (330): Used tampon in my purse. That from you?



    (401): I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.



    (407): At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!



    (574): So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree



    (479): She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.



    (312): I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.



    (217): Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.



    (843): Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.



    (760): Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?



    (484): there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.



    (864): i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking



    (716): I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight




    (970): she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation



    (508): Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
    (508): I need new friends



    (619): I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.



    (901): I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
    (1-901): explains the nose bleeds.
    Last edited by Mel1973; December 15th, 2009 at 12:43 PM. Reason: found more stupidity
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(_)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

  7. #292
    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

  8. #293
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    I can't pick a favorite. I just can't.
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
    Emma Peel aka Pacific Breeze aka Wilde1 aka gogodancer aka maribou

    Yip, yip, yip in your tiny indignation. Bark furiously on, lady dog.

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  10. #295
    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    lmao those are all so great! I love his dick is out and evil genius with the clitoris.
    Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

  11. #296
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Holy shit! Texts from Last Night has twitter now.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  12. #297
    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    Thanks^!!!!! I'm following them now For some reason I can log into twitter at work today..
    Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

  13. #298
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    Mel is right her bro coined fuck trophies and I swear the helicopter story i've heard before too lmao
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

  14. #299
    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    When I first read that I was lost b/c I thought it meant who needs a trophy..
    Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

  15. #300

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