(516): I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
(253): Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
(949): After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
(520): But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
that should be on a fucking Tshirt!!!
(360): She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
(850): JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
(509): Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
(509): True, R.I.P.
(541): He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
(202): i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
(812): If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
(905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
(405): I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
(530): Fat chicks shouldn't bartend