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Thread: Random funny shit part two

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    Elite Member Moongirl's Avatar
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    HWBL, ManxMouse, Kittylady and 9 others like this.

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HWBL View Post
    That made me laugh so hard because that's exactly what Pandora does when I'm trying to give something to her sister Misty. It is also why I always keep a stock of sticking plasters in, because the little bitch isn't always careful about claws...

    Quote Originally Posted by Moongirl View Post
    Yes! A thousand times YES! When we went away for a few days recently I packed everything for both of us. I cleaned out the fridge and scrubbed the house, made sure that everything was easy to find but still cat-proof for when the MIL came in to feed them, cleaned litter trays, made sure that cats had extra food and water out so MIL didn't need to come in straight away, made up two lots of packed lunches because we eat different things, made sure that we had plenty of bottled water so we didn't have to pay rip off motorway services prices, made sure I had plenty of sugary things in my bag in case his blood sugars took a tumble, got my coat on, found his keys (hint: hung up on the key rack...), got the bags together, found his phone and so on.

    He fell out of bed fifteen minutes before we were leaving, washed and brushed himself up and then had the gall to grump at me for not being ready because the last thing I did was go for a pee before setting out on a long drive....

    And then has the nerve to post this...



    ...Which is funny in itself but when he called me later on I asked him where I actually kept the sheets his answer was silence for a moment followed by "On the bed?"
    HWBL, Brah and MohandasKGanja like this.
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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Elite Member ManxMouse's Avatar
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    From a Reddit thread mentioned on GR a while back....

    [–]Mrnoone696 276 points 8 months ago*
    Alright, I'll get into it. Koalas have the lowest brain to body mass ratio of any mammal, comprising just 2% of their body weight. This is entirely due to their diet of eucalyptus leaves. Eucalyptus leaves are poisonous as shit, but the koala's ancestors developed a digestive tract that was able to digest them, and they pretty much stuck to just eating them since there was no competition. However, this diet came at a price. Aside from being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves have nearly no nutritional value. This is why koalas sleep 20 fucking hours a day. It's also why their brains shrunk over time. As we all know, the brain eats up the most energy in the body (while idle), so a smaller brain equals less energy spent.
    In turn, this has resulted in koalas being really, really stupid and exceedingly lazy. In fact, they're so fucking stupid that they won't eat anything other than eucalyptus leaves despite being perfectly capable of it. Not only that, they won't even eat eucalyptus leaves unless they're attached to a branch. This means that you could essentially put a koala in a warehouse filled to the ceiling with eucalyptus leaves (the only thing the dumb fucker will actually eat) and it will literally starve to death because they're not attached to branches. They're also slow as fuck, riddled with chlamydia, have double headed dicks, make low guttural frog-like noises, and piss all over everything constantly.



    [–]wingedmurasaki 112 points 8 months ago
    In other words, I can add them to the list of "Animals I don't feel sorry for because they failed at their own evolution" along with Pandas. Good to know.



    [–]bojaoblaka 142 points 8 months ago
    How do you mean "failed at their own evolution"? They sleep 20 hours a day, nothing eats them because eucalyptus tainted meat, and obviously have copious amounts of sex becouse they all have chlamydia. Also, everyone thinks that they are cute. For me this sounds like a clear win.











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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

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    "Tão estranho carregar uma vida inteira no corpo, e ninguém suspeitar dos traumas, das quedas, dos medos, dos choros."
    Caio Fernando Abreu

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    ^^^WTH??? I hope that was part of his act!!!
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    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

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    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    She can't stay angry with her squeaky shoes:

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    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

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    I'm Deceptive Secret.
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

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    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

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    "Unstable Wife"
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

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    "Invisible Obsession" for me...

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