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  1. #4381
    Gold Member ADel's Avatar
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    gas_chick, Tati, sluce and 8 others like this.

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flygirl View Post
    Oh shit, I'm dying! One guy says "he didn't fly" while a lady just mutters "amen...amen"


    Im dying over here.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    Super Moderator Tati's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ADel View Post
    LOVE this!
    If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

    - Kahlil Gibran

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    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I want him to do All About That Bass next.
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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Damn, he's really feeling that.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    A*O
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    Hey, it's Hank Schrader! I saw this yesterday and have played it over and over. I love how he stops when he passes other vehicles and gets gets right back into it when he thinks nobody's looking.

    Glad someone else has ninja video embedding skilz because I certainly didn't.
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    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
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    Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    for the germanophiles, and other word nerds:

    15 Unique Illnesses You Can Only Come Down With in German
    Arika Okrent




    IMAGE CREDIT:
    ISTOCK/REBECCA O'CONNELL



    The German language is so perfectly suited for these syndromes, coming down with them in any other language just won’t do.

    1. KEVINISMUS
    At some point in the last couple of decades, parents in Germany started coming down withKevinismus— a strange propensity to give their kids wholly un-German, American-sounding names like Justin, Mandy, Dennis, Cindy, and Kevin. Kids with these names tend to be less successful and have more behavior problems in school. Studies of the Kevinismusphenomenon attribute these effects to a combination of teachers’ prejudices toward the names, and the lower social status of parents who choose names like Kevin.

    2. FÖHNKRANKHEIT
    Föhn is the name for a specific wind that cools air as it draws up one side of a mountain, and then warms it as it compresses coming down the other side. These winds are believed to cause headaches and other feelings of illness. Many a 19th century German lady took to her fainting couch with a cold compress, suffering from Föhnkrankheit.

    3. KREISLAUFZUSAMMENBRUCH
    Kreislaufzusammenbruch, or “circulatory collapse,” sounds deathly serious, but it’s used quite commonly in Germany to mean something like “feeling woozy” or “I don’t think I can come into work today.”

    4. HÖRSTURZ
    Hörsturz refers to a sudden loss of hearing, which in Germany is apparently frequently caused by stress. Strangely, while every German knows at least 5 people who have had a bout of Hörsturz, it is practically unheard of anywhere else.

    5. FRÜHJAHRSMÜDIGKEIT
    Frühjahrsmüdigkeit or “early year tiredness” can be translated as “spring fatigue.” Is it from the change in the weather? Changing sunlight patterns? Hormone imbalance? Allergies? As afflictions go, Frühjahrsmüdigkeit is much less fun than our “spring fever,” which is instead associated with increased vim, vigor, pep, and randiness.

    6. FERNWEH

    Fernweh is the opposite of homesickness. It is the longing for travel, or getting out there beyond the horizon, what you might call… awaysickness.

    7. PUTZFIMMEL
    Putzen means “to clean” and Fimmel is a mania or obsession. Putzfimmel is an obsession with cleaning. It is not unheard of outside of Germany, but elsewhere it is less culturally embedded and less fun to say.

    8. WERTHERSFIEBER

    An old-fashioned type of miserable lovesickness that was named “Werther’s fever” for the hero of Goethe’s The Sorrows of Young Werther. Poor young Werther suffers for the love of a peasant girl who is already married. Death is his only way out. A generation of sensitive young men brought made Werthersfieber quite fashionable in the late 18th century.

    9. OSTALGIE

    Ostalgie is nostalgia for the old way of life in East Germany (“ost” means East). If you miss your old Trabant and those weekly visits from the secret police, you may have Ostalgie.

    10. ZEITKRANKHEIT

    Zeitkrankheit is “time sickness” or “illness of the times.” It’s a general term for whatever the damaging mindset or preoccupations of a certain era are.

    11. WELTSCHMERZ

    Weltschmerz or “world pain,” is a sadness brought on by a realization that the world cannot be the way you wish it would be. It’s more emotional than pessimism, and more painful than ennui.

    12. ICHSCHMERZ

    Ichschmerz is like Weltschmerz, but it is dissatisfaction with the self rather than the world. Which is probably what Weltschmerzreally boils down to most of the time.

    13. LEBENSMÜDIGKEIT

    Lebensmüdigkeit translates as despair or world-weariness, but it also more literally means “life tiredness.” When someone does something stupidly dangerous, you might sarcastically ask, “What are you doing? Are you lebensmüde?!”

    14. ZIVILISATIONSKRANKHEIT

    Zivilisationskrankheit, or “civilization sickness” is a problem caused by living in the modern world. Stress, obesity, eating disorders, carpal tunnel syndrome and diseases like type 2 diabetes are all examples.

    15. TORSCHLUSSPANIK

    Torschlusspanik or “gate closing panic” is the anxiety-inducing awareness that as time goes on, life’s opportunities just keep getting fewer and fewer and there’s no way to know which ones you should be taking before they close forever. It’s a Zivilisationskrankheit that may result in Weltschmerz, Ichschmerz, or Lebensmüdigkeit.



    January 15, 2015 - 3:15pm



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  9. #4389
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Nobody else thinks the singing cop is a scripted piece ? the video says it's from the PR dept. Also, he waves a pedestrian across the street but when he pulls past where the pedestrian should be seen there is no one there.
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    A*O
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    Maybe so, but it's still cute. Cops need some distractions in rural Delaware.
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
    Dame Edna Everage

    Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A*O View Post
    Hey, it's Hank Schrader! I saw this yesterday and have played it over and over. I love how he stops when he passes other vehicles and gets gets right back into it when he thinks nobody's looking.

    Glad someone else has ninja video embedding skilz because I certainly didn't.
    Hi A*O

    When you start to make/type a post, you will see a few different Icon Boxes/Buttons on the top left of the 'Your Message' window.

    Go to the box (on the second row) with the 'two globes, a picture and a strip of film icon'.. The 'strip of film' icon is the 'Insert Video' tool.

    If you click on it, a new little grey and white box should pop up on screen with the message "Enter your Video Clip URL here".

    To insert the URL address of the Video you would like... either copy & paste the URL address bar from the YouTube page the Video is on and then Paste it into the little grey and white box... and then click the 'Okay' button... and hopefully the Video will be in your post.

    Or you can 'right click' on the Video and copy the URL address from there (sometimes), depending on copyrights etc.

    Hope this helps, also if i have stuffed up here, PLEASE feel free to correct or simplify it.
    Last edited by *Wookie-Chick*; January 19th, 2015 at 09:29 AM. Reason: Removed something that didn't make sense..yikes!

  12. #4392
    A*O
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    Thanks WC. I'll try it next time the need arises.
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    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
    Dame Edna Everage

    Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

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    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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  14. #4394
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    JAMIE AND JEFF’S
    BIRTH PLAN.




    - - -
    Dear Hospital Staff:
    Thank you and congratulations for being on shift for the birth
    of our child. The following sets forth our wishes for our stay. If
    a medical emergency requires you to deviate from this plan,
    please refer to “Jamie and Jeff’s Emergency Birth Plan.” (Tab J)
    Please note: Jamie is RH Negative and BPA-free.

    Philosophy

    While we do not have a traditional “philosophy” of “childbirth,”
    we have been heavily influenced by orthodox Wholefoodism
    and the “(d)well baby/good design” movement. We believe
    strongly in the power of the female body and a long-term night
    nurse. We are opposed to torture/gluten. In the event you
    are ever unsure how to proceed today, please ask yourself, “What
    Would Gwyneth Do?”

    Environment

    We would like mood lighting, like on Virgin America.

    The following people, who were with us at conception, will
    again be in the room with us today: Jeff’s mom; Jeff’s sister;
    Jeff’s sister’s friend, Melanie (plus 2); Jeff Koons.

    Please provide WiFi so we can check what you say against
    Wikipedia and our favorite mom blogs.
    Music is very important to us, as music was playing in the
    Mongolian yurt when we first made love.

    In lieu of a traditional hospital gown, Jamie would prefer to be
    dressed like Zooey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer.

    Please avoid any use of the words “pulsate,” “soiled,” or “octo”
    in the delivery room.
    Prep

    Jamie would prefer no enema or shaving of pubic hair.
    If shaving is necessary, she would prefer something in the shape of
    a vuvuzela. Jeff’s pubic hair should NOT be shaved.

    Jeff would like an IV.

    Labor

    Please generally avoid procedures that are totally unnecessary or
    excruciatingly painful.

    Jamie would like Jeff to do the pushing whenever possible.

    We have chosen a Doctor (“Mr. Cooper”) because he shares our
    desire for a natural, low-intervention birth. Mr. Cooper will
    deliver the baby via Skype from his home in Taos.

    If Jamie starts to sob uncontrollably during labor, please
    turn offThe Notebook. In the event the crying continues, please
    administer the following drugs to Jeff (per Mr. Cooper):
    Darvocet, Diamorphine, Vicodin, Medical Marijuana.

    If induction is necessary, Jamie would like to try the following
    before Pitocin is administered: walking, stretching, flipping
    over, rolfing, online browsing, nipple stimulation and/or sexual
    intercourse.

    Nipple stimulation should be done by the resident Jamie met on
    the tour who looks like Benjamin Bratt.

    Delivery

    We strongly prefer a girl.

    If you have not already done so, please now take a few minutes
    and read Early Admission: How to Deliver an Ivy League Baby!

    Jeff will remain in the squatting position throughout delivery.

    When the crown of the head appears, please turn down the
    music as Jeff will be reading aloud from Be Here Now by Ram
    Dass.

    Please, no texting while suctioning.

    Jamie would like a mirror so that she can see the horrible
    expression on her face if it’s a boy.

    IMPORTANT: if the baby appears to be black, please
    immediately escort Jeff out of the room and bring in Jeremy
    Rayburn from the 5th Floor waiting area.

    In the event of a Cesarean, please practice Western medicine.

    Post-Birth

    We are interested in the following preschools: St. James, The
    Schoolhouse at Cedar Point, or Kidsplace. Willow Glen is
    ONLY a backup.

    Jamie would like Jeff circumcised.

    Please do not cut the cord until we are through the toddler
    years.

    We would like the baby certified organic by Oregon Tilth.

    Please don’t put the baby on a scale, as we don’t want her to
    have the same body image issues as her fat mom.

    We would like to donate the placenta to the people of the Gulf
    Coast.

    We ask that the baby be bathed in our presence, in the delivery
    room, in San Pellegrino.

    Per Mr. Cooper, do not feed the baby mussels.

    Per Gisele Bundchen, do not give the baby a bottle (i.e.
    chemicals) for at least 6 months.

    If the baby must be taken from the room because of a medical
    emergency, we would like Jeff to accompany the child. (In this
    scenario, Benjamin Bratt would stay with Jamie. Please maintain
    mood lighting and insert the CD in Jamie’s handbag labeled,
    WHEN JEFF LEAVES.)

    We will not be vaccinating our baby. Please vaccinate all other
    babies on this floor.
    Namaste,
    Jeff and Jamie
    Last edited by sputnik; January 21st, 2015 at 04:02 PM.
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  15. #4395
    Elite Member DeChayz's Avatar
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    ^THAT is FANTASTIC
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