Page 23 of 294 FirstFirst ... 131920212223242526273373123 ... LastLast
Results 331 to 345 of 4410
Like Tree7805Likes

Thread: Random funny shit

  1. #331
    Elite Member Sleuth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Vegemite Land
    Posts
    5,324

    Default

    Big Balls


    If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have big balls, forget about it. This is a true story that happened recently at a wedding at Clemson, South Carolina, USA.


    This was a huge wedding with about 300 well-to-do guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom, southern gentleman that he was, got up on stage at the microphone to make his speech. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, overseas even, to support he and his bride at their wedding.


    He made sure that the brides maids and maid of honour understood how much he appreciated their efforts at looking so beautiful. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family for organising such a splendid reception and spread.


    He wanted to thank every guest for coming and bringing such nice gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him and told the guests to find the manilla envelope taped under their chair, and to open it. Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 colour photograph of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.)


    He stood there and watched people's reactions, and listened to the hushed gossip for a couple of minutes. He turned to the best man and said "Fuck you, I hope the brides father sues you for the cost of this afternoon!" Then he turned to the bride and said "…and fuck you as well. Oh, I see that's been done. I suggest you have yourself checked out at a clinic. Soon!" then turning to the guests he said "Sorry folks, I'm out of here, but by all means, eat, drink, and be merry. It's all free!"


    He had the marriage annulled the next day. While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out about the affair, this guy goes through with in anyway.


    His revenge: making the bride's parents pay for a three hundred guest wedding and reception, including all her friends, family, grandparents, etc. and entertaining all of his own friends, family, grandparents, etc. including a couple of invited journalists who were clued up on the issues at hand.


    Having the opportunity to explain to everyone exactly what did happen, why he annulled the wedding, and trashing the bride's and best man's reputations all in one go, with accompanying photographs in the two local newspapers in the Sunday morning edition. Priceless!
    Alicia Silverstone: "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

  2. #332
    Elite Member Honeythorn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Death Valley~Middle Earth, Califas
    Posts
    2,590

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sleuth View Post
    Big Balls


    If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have big balls, forget about it. This is a true story that happened recently at a wedding at Clemson, South Carolina, USA.


    This was a huge wedding with about 300 well-to-do guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom, southern gentleman that he was, got up on stage at the microphone to make his speech. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, overseas even, to support he and his bride at their wedding.


    He made sure that the brides maids and maid of honour understood how much he appreciated their efforts at looking so beautiful. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family for organising such a splendid reception and spread.


    He wanted to thank every guest for coming and bringing such nice gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him and told the guests to find the manilla envelope taped under their chair, and to open it. Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 colour photograph of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.)


    He stood there and watched people's reactions, and listened to the hushed gossip for a couple of minutes. He turned to the best man and said "Fuck you, I hope the brides father sues you for the cost of this afternoon!" Then he turned to the bride and said "…and fuck you as well. Oh, I see that's been done. I suggest you have yourself checked out at a clinic. Soon!" then turning to the guests he said "Sorry folks, I'm out of here, but by all means, eat, drink, and be merry. It's all free!"


    He had the marriage annulled the next day. While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out about the affair, this guy goes through with in anyway.


    His revenge: making the bride's parents pay for a three hundred guest wedding and reception, including all her friends, family, grandparents, etc. and entertaining all of his own friends, family, grandparents, etc. including a couple of invited journalists who were clued up on the issues at hand.


    Having the opportunity to explain to everyone exactly what did happen, why he annulled the wedding, and trashing the bride's and best man's reputations all in one go, with accompanying photographs in the two local newspapers in the Sunday morning edition. Priceless!

    This is the fucking BEST!!!
    Your penis is NOTHING to brag about! Is it normal for a penis to smell like corn chips?" Lark Voorhees

  3. #333
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    42,527

    Default

    Love that man!!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  4. #334
    Elite Member angelais's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Jon Hamm's pants
    Posts
    12,751

    Default



    Did you know that an anagram for "Conscious Uncoupling" is "Iconic Uncool Pus Guns"? - MohandasKGanja

  5. #335
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    17,107

    Default

    Wow. That groom!! I hope he doesn't have any financial fallout from the whole thing too. I sort of love that he pulled that off!

  6. #336
    Elite Member Lalique's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    The land of ice and snow
    Posts
    6,222

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sleuth View Post
    Big Balls


    If any of you guys out there have ever thought you have big balls, forget about it. This is a true story that happened recently at a wedding at Clemson, South Carolina, USA.


    This was a huge wedding with about 300 well-to-do guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom, southern gentleman that he was, got up on stage at the microphone to make his speech. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, overseas even, to support he and his bride at their wedding.


    He made sure that the brides maids and maid of honour understood how much he appreciated their efforts at looking so beautiful. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family for organising such a splendid reception and spread.


    He wanted to thank every guest for coming and bringing such nice gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him and told the guests to find the manilla envelope taped under their chair, and to open it. Inside the manilla envelope was an 8x10 colour photograph of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.)


    He stood there and watched people's reactions, and listened to the hushed gossip for a couple of minutes. He turned to the best man and said "Fuck you, I hope the brides father sues you for the cost of this afternoon!" Then he turned to the bride and said "…and fuck you as well. Oh, I see that's been done. I suggest you have yourself checked out at a clinic. Soon!" then turning to the guests he said "Sorry folks, I'm out of here, but by all means, eat, drink, and be merry. It's all free!"


    He had the marriage annulled the next day. While most of us would have broken it off immediately after we found out about the affair, this guy goes through with in anyway.


    His revenge: making the bride's parents pay for a three hundred guest wedding and reception, including all her friends, family, grandparents, etc. and entertaining all of his own friends, family, grandparents, etc. including a couple of invited journalists who were clued up on the issues at hand.


    Having the opportunity to explain to everyone exactly what did happen, why he annulled the wedding, and trashing the bride's and best man's reputations all in one go, with accompanying photographs in the two local newspapers in the Sunday morning edition. Priceless!
    Darn. It's not true, just an urban legend:

    MasterCard Wedding - An Urban Legend
    What I really want to know is whether it makes your poop glow in the dark after eating it! ~ Kittylady

  7. #337
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    42,527

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lalique View Post
    Darn. It's not true, just an urban legend:

    MasterCard Wedding - An Urban Legend
    I don't care! It is a really good one and I love it anyway.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  8. #338
    Gold Member gardenwitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    NY-Middle of no where
    Posts
    920

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lalique View Post
    Darn. It's not true, just an urban legend:

    MasterCard Wedding - An Urban Legend
    ~Madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push.

  9. #339
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Milliways
    Posts
    53,848

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lalique View Post
    Darn. It's not true, just an urban legend:

    MasterCard Wedding - An Urban Legend
    Naturally. Anything that declares itself to be a "true story" is very likely total BS. People just love revenge fantasies.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

  10. #340
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Top Secret Spy for Leann Rimes
    Posts
    37,330

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by angelais View Post
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  11. #341
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Over the hills and far away
    Posts
    21,646

  12. #342
    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ♥In your heart ♥
    Posts
    5,752

    Default

    ^ lmao twisted!

  13. #343
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Hanging with the raisin girls
    Posts
    12,171

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Penny Lane View Post

    Holy shit.

  14. #344
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Florida Keys
    Posts
    18,446

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Penny Lane View Post
    Dios Mio!
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
    #fingersinthebootyassbitch

  15. #345
    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Middle America
    Posts
    11,554

    Default

    Oh no they didn't. Have they been stretching them out over time?!?!? WTF?
    RELIGION: Treat it like it's your genitalia. Don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 3 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 3 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 11
    Last Post: April 29th, 2009, 07:29 AM
  2. Are the funny pages funny?
    By buttmunch in forum News
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: February 14th, 2006, 09:17 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •