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Thread: Random funny shit

  1. #241
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    WTF? I thought that was what fairy dust was made of....
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
    #fingersinthebootyassbitch

  2. #242
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I would be more turned off by his bad hair style.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  3. #243
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    It's no longer a dog whistle, it's a fucking trombone


    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  4. #244
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    ^^^^


    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    famous paintings improved



    Posted from my iPhone

  5. #245
    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    [YOUTUBE]HSrigvOX1AE[/YOUTUBE]
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

  6. #246
    Gold Member eboni's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeSlice View Post
    [YOUTUBE]HSrigvOX1AE[/YOUTUBE]
    Don't go ninjing nobody that don't need ninjing
    ...Stopped smoking on March 8, 2011. Was trying to put a fancy ticker in my signature but it didn't work...

  7. #247
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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  8. #248
    Elite Member Brah's Avatar
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  9. #249
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penny Lane View Post

    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  10. #250
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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  11. #251
    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    Some moron in my town put up a For Sale sign. Underneath are the added letters of BY ONWER. I would post it, but I don't know how to blur the phone number.
    RELIGION: Treat it like it's your genitalia. Don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

  12. #252
    Hit By Ban Bus! rockchick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gardenwitch View Post

    That is really cool.

  13. #253
    Elite Member o0Amber0o's Avatar
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    These are some of my favorite "funny" pins...





    And my most favorite that makes me LOL every time I see it:

    All you can do at life is play along and hope that sometimes you get it right.

  14. #254
    Super Moderator Tati's Avatar
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    Best. Roommate. Ever.

    Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky shit-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.

    Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.

    A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fucking FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.

    I also read a lot. I fucking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesdays with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fucking smart. Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!

    Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James Fucking Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!

    A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I FUCKING LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty fucking cool right?

    I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a shitload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you shit already!

    Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic ass I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.
    craigslist-Best-Of: Best. Roommate. Ever.
    If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

    - Kahlil Gibran

  15. #255
    Elite Member Kat Scorp's Avatar
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    ^^^ ...however:

    8 pairs of shoes
    I couldn't live with some bloke who has more shoes than myself.
    What do we want?
    EVIDENCE BASED SCIENCE
    When do we want it?
    AFTER PEER REVIEW

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