This was so great! Thanks for the laughs. And Lisa is a bitch, for sure!
i think there should be cameras in communal kitchens so stuff like that stops happening. some people just never learn. my brother is one of them. when i lived with him and 2 other people in uni, he would systematically steal one of our flatmate's stuff - whether it was milk, baby carrots, chips, juice, etc. and then i would have to listen to her complain to me about my brother's thieving, and put up with her screaming at my brother while he just stood there with a smile on his face and promises to replace whatever he took, always followed by her screeching 'but i wanted it NOW, are you going to go out and replace it RIGHT THIS MINUTE?).
she had a stroke that paralysed half her face for a few days at the end of the year. official cause was that she was one of the unlucky 0.0002% of girls who have strokes caused by birth control pills but i think it was precipitated by my brother's constant food theft.
I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld
I just laughed my fucking ass off for 10 minutes reading these....especially the Lisa notes. Holy shit....thank you Novice!
There will be times you might leap before you look
There'll be times you'll like the cover and that's precisely why you'll love the book
Do it anyway
Yeah, maybe. Buy a cooler, put your stuff in it every day, put some cold or hot packs in, and keep it under your desk. It saves aggravation. There are people in lots of offices that do not give a shit what belongs to who in the community fridge - I've worked with plenty of them. Even when you put your name on something - or leave a passive/aggressive note for them (I'm really good at that too). At my last office, one of the guys who owned the building (and worked there) took anything home out of the fridge he wanted, even if a name was on it. Why? Because he could. At one point, because I was more or less in charge of the cleanliness of the fridge (self-appointed; I can't stand a yucky fridge), I asked him to start putting his name and a date on his leftovers and that on Friday whatever was left over from anyone was going into the trash. He had a complete meltdown, right in the middle of the office. Comedy gold. ("I own this building, this is MY fridge - I don't HAVE to put my name on anything!!!! It's all MINE!!!" I said, "Maybe so, but if it's still here on Friday afternoon, it's outta here.") Creep.yeah but where else are you going to put it? are you supposed to stop bringing food or milk for your coffee to the office?
Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
Laugh Uncontrollably. And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.
- Mark Twain
We had a bad food thief. Once he ate half of a coworkers big salad. He added the tomatoes & dressing and mixed it well first! He stopped at half, like she would ever finish it.
We put video cameras in the huge commercial refrigerators we had, heavily disguised. Somebody always put an object right in front, so we never caught him. Actually, I guess it could have been female, but males have more nerve.
I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West
Poor Katie, that note from her parents is sad!
Shit! The one about the rocket pubes was hysterical!
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson
How big would a T-Rex wang be?! - Karistiona
Oh damn. I just noticed there's another thread with the same title. Mods please merge this with that thread.
some of those aren't exactly "passive aggressive"... when you call someone a "motherfucker", that's just straight up aggression! and I, for one, LOVE it!
Kill everything... that IS the solution!
┌П┐(•_•)┌П┐twitchy molests my signature!
I liked the "motherfucking trash" one too, had me laughing outloud.
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